The First Five Pages

1. The First Five Pages Are Decisive for Agents and Editors

But they've secretly made up their mind after page 5, and 99 percent of the time, they're not going to change it.

Instant judgment. Agents and editors are overwhelmed with manuscripts and look for any reason to dismiss them quickly, often making a decision within the first five pages. This initial evaluation is less about artistic merit and more about technical accomplishment, like judging an elementary school art fair for skill.

High rejection rate. Ninety-nine percent of unsolicited manuscripts are rejected based on these preliminary criteria. The book aims to reveal the specific reasons why, helping writers understand the gatekeepers' perspective and avoid common pitfalls that lead to instant dismissal.

Beyond page five. While the first five pages are critical, the author argues that problems found there are likely indicative of issues throughout the entire manuscript. Developing an "acute ear" for these flaws in the opening pages allows for a quick, accurate evaluation of the whole work.

2. Focus on Avoiding Bad Writing, Not Following Rules

There are no rules to assure great writing, but there are ways to avoid bad writing.

Art vs. craft. Great artists often break rules, and writing is no different; there are no strict rules guaranteeing greatness. However, there are identifiable ways to avoid bad writing, which is the practical focus of this book.

Identify and avoid. The goal is to learn to spot common writing ailments in examples and, more importantly, in your own work. By understanding what not to do and practicing solutions, writers can bridge the gap towards realizing what to do, ultimately teaching themselves.

Self-discovery. While guidance can point out flaws and offer techniques, the ultimate realization of good writing comes from within the writer. The book provides criteria and exercises to help develop this self-awareness and critical eye.

3. Preliminary Problems Signal Amateurism (Presentation, Modifiers, Sound)

It is a shame that small—and easily preventable—surface errors can be determinants for an entire book, can prema-turely prevent you from being taken seriously.

First impressions. Before even reading the content, agents and editors judge a manuscript's professionalism based on its presentation. Careless formatting signals potential carelessness in the writing itself.

Common presentation errors:

• Substandard paper (stained, torn, wrong size/color/weight)
• Incorrect formatting (three-hole punched, bound, wrong margins, single/one-and-a-half spacing)
• Unprofessional font (too large/small, multiple fonts, excessive bold/underline/italics, dim print)
• Miscellaneous issues (artwork, stating rights, excessive copyright stamps)

Modifier overload. Overusing adjectives and adverbs is a quick way to spot an amateur. It weakens prose, insults the reader's imagination, often relies on cliches, and makes reading slow and awkward. Strengthening nouns and verbs is a key solution.

Sound and rhythm. Beyond technical correctness, prose has a sound or rhythm. Problems like poor sentence construction (misused punctuation), echoes (repeated names/words), alliteration, and uneven resonance can make a manuscript unpleasant to read aloud, even if grammatically sound.

4. Use Comparison & Style to Serve the Story, Not Indulge

A picture is worth a thousand words, and when you use a comparison (by "comparison" I mean analogy, simile or metaphor), you draw a picture, often with the goal of helping the reader grasp a difficult idea.

Comparison's power. Comparisons (analogies, similes, metaphors) paint pictures, clarify difficult ideas, and can replace lengthy description, making prose tighter. However, bad or cliche comparisons are instantly noticeable and signal imprecision or laziness.

Style's purpose. Style (archaic, florid, minimalist, academic, etc.) should complement the story and viewpoint, not exist for its own sake or distract the reader. Overly noticeable or self-indulgent style indicates the writing is more about the writer than the story.

Serving the text. Both comparison and style should enhance the reader's experience and understanding, not impede it. When they draw attention to themselves rather than the narrative, they become detrimental.

5. Dialogue is an Instant Skill Indicator

What's most interesting about dialogue is that you can dismiss it without even reading it.

Visual cues. The appearance of dialogue on the page can immediately signal problems. Pages packed with dialogue without breaks or, conversely, long stretches with no dialogue, are red flags.

Reflects sensibility. Dialogue reveals a writer's control and sensibility. Overusing it diminishes its power, while using it sparingly and effectively at the right moment demonstrates skill.

Beyond the words. Dialogue isn't just lines spoken; it includes the space between lines, pauses, actions, and identifiers. Neglecting these elements leads to issues like "spitfire" dialogue that moves too fast or dialogue interrupted by excessive description.

6. Avoid Fake Dialogue (Commonplace, Informative, Melodramatic)

This type of dialogue may fill the reader in on some missing facts of the plot... but the price paid is great: it is dialogue that characters would never use in real life...

Unrealistic exchanges. "Fake" dialogue includes commonplace exchanges used for unnecessary realism or as propellants, informative dialogue used solely to convey facts or backstory, and melodramatic dialogue that sounds cool but isn't genuine to the characters or situation.

Commonplace pitfalls. Writers often include everyday greetings and niceties out of a misguided sense of realism or to warm up to a scene. This wastes the reader's time and indicates a lack of originality.

Informative and melodramatic flaws. Using dialogue to state facts characters already know (backstory) or describe unfolding events ("Look! I'm bleeding!") feels artificial and plot-driven rather than character-driven. Melodrama, while sometimes effective in small doses, saturates the text and loses impact when overused.

7. Ensure Dialogue is Easy to Follow & Visually Balanced

No agent or editor is going to sit there poring over a manuscript, trying to decipher who is saying what to whom.

Clarity is key. Dialogue must be easy to follow. Problems arise from attempting to capture dialect or slang too heavily, lacking clear identifiers ("he said," character names), or using "exclusive" dialogue filled with cryptic references that shut the reader out.

Visual flow. Dialogue needs visual balance on the page. "Spitfire" dialogue lacks necessary pauses and action, accelerating the pace unnaturally. Conversely, dialogue constantly interrupted by description or excessive identifiers ruins momentum.

Solutions for clarity. Avoid heavy dialect spelling; indicate it through word choice and mannerisms instead. Ensure identifiers are present and consistent. If dialogue is too exclusive, consider letting the reader in more, even if it feels less subtle initially.

8. Show, Don't Just Tell (Dramatize Events)

Don't tell me you love me. Show me."

Engage the reader. Instead of telling the reader facts about characters or events, show them through action and scenes. This allows readers to draw their own conclusions, making the text their own and fostering deeper engagement.

Ambiguity and interpretation. Showing leaves room for interpretation and ambiguity, which can make a text more fascinating and rereadable. Telling, by stating facts directly, closes off these possibilities.

Avoiding synopsis. Telling makes a manuscript read like an outline or synopsis rather than an immersive work of art. Dramatizing events allows the reader to experience the story alongside the characters.

9. Maintain Consistent Viewpoint and Compelling Characters

What distinguishes fiction from other forms of writing is that before you can set down a word you must first decide (1) from whose viewpoint you will tell the story and (2) whether you will use a first-, second-or third-person narrator.

Viewpoint consistency. Inconsistent narration (switching between "I," "you," "he") or viewpoint characters (suddenly knowing another character's thoughts) disorients the reader. Multiple viewpoints can work but require careful handling and clear breaks.

Character pitfalls. Common characterization problems include launching into plot without establishing characters, using stock or cliche characters/traits, introducing too many characters at once, confusion over the protagonist, and including extraneous characters. Generic description also fails to make characters memorable.

Compelling presence. Characters must evoke a reaction in the reader, whether love, hate, or intrigue. The only failure is for the reader not to care. Creating compelling characters, even unsympathetic ones, requires depth and originality, often best achieved by subverting stereotypes.

10. Hooks Need Sustained Intensity, Not Just a First Line

What is rarely discussed is the importance of the hook not only as an opening line but as an opening paragraph, not only as an opening paragraph but as an opening page, not only as an opening page but as an opening chapter.

Beyond the opening line. A hook is more than just a catchy first sentence; it should ideally extend to the opening paragraph, page, and even chapter, setting the tone and propelling the reader forward with sustained intensity. A strong opening that isn't maintained is disappointing.

Purposeful hooks. Effective hooks establish the narrative voice, character, or setting, or convey significant information, serving the story rather than being mere gimmicks. They require endurance and concentration to integrate seamlessly with the text that follows.

Closing hooks. Hooks are also powerful at the end of paragraphs, pages, or chapters, encouraging the reader to continue. A strong closing hook, supported by the preceding text, makes the reader want to return to the story's world.

11. Subtlety and Focus Mark the Proficient Writer

Subtlety is the mark of confidence and is thus by far the hardest thing for a writer to achieve.

Confidence in the reader. Subtlety comes from confidence in oneself and the reader, trusting them to grasp ideas without spelling everything out or repeating information. Unsubtle writing condescends and alienates the reader.

Less is more. Most subtlety problems can be solved by cutting superfluous words, phrases, dialogue, and run-on scenes. This requires a merciless eye for anything that doesn't further the work's intention or progression.

Maintaining direction. Focus means staying on track, ensuring ideas introduced are resolved, and avoiding tangents unless they serve a deliberate purpose. This applies to the entire book, individual chapters, paragraphs, and even sentences, giving the text a sense of intentional journey and culmination.

12. Setting Can Be a Powerful Character

It is amazing how often setting is neglected, employed only as necessary.

Adding dimension. Setting is often overlooked but can add significant richness and depth to a text when brought to life. It's not just a backdrop but can influence characters, relationships, and even generate new plot points.

Beyond description. At its most effective, setting becomes a character itself, interacting with the human characters. Changing the setting for a scene can dramatically alter its dynamics and meaning.

Evoking mood. Instead of telling the reader what a place is like (e.g., "It was scary"), show it through evocative description that allows the reader to feel the mood and come to their own conclusions.

Last updated: May 19, 2025