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The Five Levels of Attachment

The Five Levels of Attachment

Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World
by Miguel Ruiz Jr. 2013 176 pages
4.22
4k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Our attachments shape our perception and limit our potential

Like blinders on a horse, our attached beliefs limit our vision, and this in turn limits our perceived direction in life. The stronger our level of attachment, the less we can see.

Our point of view creates our reality. When we become attached to our beliefs, our reality becomes rigid and oppressive. We lose the ability to recognize that we have a choice to be free from these attachments. Our identity is often based on ideological beliefs that have come to us over time from various sources, such as family, culture, religion, education, and friends.

The Smokey Mirror concept in the Toltec tradition illustrates how our attachments cloud our perception of our Authentic Self. We project values and attributes onto ourselves that reflect our beliefs, making it difficult to see ourselves for who we truly are at any given moment. This limits our freedom to see life from a fresh perspective and choose a different path.

Self-judgment is the primary tool used to domesticate ourselves. We implement a system of reward and punishment to train ourselves to reach an archetypal model of what we believe we should be. This leads to suffering as we struggle to live up to an illusion of perfection.

2. The Five Levels of Attachment: from Authentic Self to Fanaticism

The Five Levels of Attachment are guideposts for gauging how attached you are to your own point of view, as well as how open you are to other opinions and possibilities.

The Five Levels of Attachment provide a framework for understanding how our beliefs impact our lives:

  1. Authentic Self: Pure potential and unconditional love
  2. Preference: Using knowledge as a tool without losing awareness
  3. Identity: Identifying ourselves with our knowledge
  4. Internalization: Knowledge gives us rules and guidelines for living
  5. Fanaticism: Knowledge controls our every action

Moving through the levels is not about achieving a specific level, but rather becoming aware of where we are in relation to various aspects of our lives. This awareness allows us to make conscious choices about our beliefs and attachments.

The power of choice is emphasized throughout the levels. As we become more aware of our attachments, we regain the ability to say yes or no to our beliefs, exercising our free will and true freedom.

3. The Authentic Self: Unlimited potential and unconditional love

The Authentic Self is the harmony of mind, body, and soul as the expression of Life. To tell the story of the Authentic Self is to tell the story of life, regardless of where humanity may be in the form of an individual's awareness.

The Authentic Self represents our unlimited potential. It is the living being that gives life to our bodies, enabling us to perceive and project life and interact with the Dream of the Planet. At this level, we have no need to distort knowledge to fit our individual points of view or attachments.

Key characteristics of the Authentic Self:

  • Complete freedom to choose how to engage with the world
  • Awareness that we are the living being that gives life to our beliefs
  • Ability to love unconditionally without conditions for self-acceptance
  • Freedom to evolve as life evolves
  • Engage with others without the need to domesticate them to our point of view

Experiencing the Authentic Self often occurs during moments of pure harmony, such as during meditation, creative activities, or physical exertion. In these moments, judgment stops, and we are completely present in the moment.

4. Preference: Using knowledge as a tool without losing awareness

At Level Two, we have the awareness that knowledge is a tool that provides us with the information we need to make choices about where we wish to place our attention and take action.

Preference allows us to engage in life without losing awareness. At this level, we can choose to adapt to life situations without losing the awareness of our Authentic Self or projecting a false image. This is called "controlled folly" in the Toltec tradition – honoring ourselves while engaging with others who project an image onto us.

Key aspects of Preference:

  • Knowledge remains our ally, uncorrupted by self-importance or conditional love
  • We engage life as it is, making choices with reason
  • We see the difference between truth and distortion
  • Our love for self allows us to give love to the community
  • We use knowledge as an instrument to interact with the world, but our agreements are not subjugated to an identity

Example: A person who chooses to follow a vegan diet as a preference uses this knowledge to inform their choices when eating, but does not use it to identify themselves as "vegan" or to domesticate themselves or others by it. They can make exceptions without self-judgment and reengage with their preference afterward if they choose.

5. Identity: When knowledge becomes who we are

Our name and identity give us a purpose and a sense of belonging.

Identity provides a grounding sense of self that allows us to have our place in the Dream of the Planet. However, at this level, we begin to lose awareness of the line that separates life and the reflection in the mirror. We start to believe that the reflection is the truth.

Characteristics of Identity:

  • We construct our identity by embodying our acquired knowledge in the form of our passion
  • Our sense of self is based on things like nationality, religion, profession, or hobbies
  • We confuse these identities with who we really are
  • We may experience some suffering when our identity is challenged, but generally not an inordinate amount
  • We still have respect for others' manifestations of their Personal Dreams

The mask of identity becomes a way to adapt socially and relate to groups with whom we are interacting. However, we forget that it's just a mask and believe it is our true self. This can lead to some suffering when our identity is challenged or when we can't live up to our own expectations.

6. Internalization: Domestication through conditional love

At this point, we've lost our respect for self and others, and conditional love is all we know.

Internalization occurs when our identity becomes the model by which we accept ourselves. This is domestication through attachment, where our narrators set conditions for our self-acceptance and acceptance of others based on the beliefs we use to construct our identity.

Key aspects of Internalization:

  • We distort information to reinforce our expectations of life
  • Our sense of self is the personification of our beliefs
  • We project a false image of self to secure acceptance
  • Acceptance is the reward of domestication, while rejection is the punishment
  • We use these conditions as guideposts for accepting and rejecting ourselves and others

The mechanism of conditional love – the judge and the victim – has been mastered at this level. We create an idealized version of our identity and may project a false image to secure acceptance. This leads to constant conflict with points of view that do not align with our own.

7. Fanaticism: When beliefs control our every action

Fanaticism is the complete loss of respect for another living being, when we no longer see an individual as a living being, and instead only an idea or a number.

Fanaticism represents a rigid attachment to knowledge with an excessive intolerance of opposing views. It is driven by a need to believe in something one hundred percent, even though that something's meaning is dependent upon the agreement of others.

Characteristics of Fanaticism:

  • Anything contradicting the belief is seen as a direct threat
  • The belief is defended at any cost, using prejudice, intolerance, and even violence
  • Driven by an extreme form of conditional love for self and others
  • Requires trying to domesticate everyone around us
  • Complete loss of respect for other living beings

Examples of fanaticism can range from extreme religious or political views to obsessive behaviors like anorexia or bulimia. In all cases, the attachment to the belief becomes more important than one's own life or the lives of others.

8. Recognizing and challenging our assumptions and stories

Believing an assumption is a choice, though if I am unaware that my mind is filling in gaps, then this is not really a choice at all. I am at the mercy of my assumptions.

Our minds have the ability to fill in gaps when we don't have all the information. This is based on our past experiences and attachments. While this ability can be helpful, it can also lead us to make incorrect assumptions that reinforce our existing beliefs and cause suffering.

Steps to challenge our assumptions:

  1. Recall experiences where assumptions were later shown to be untrue
  2. Identify the missing pieces of information
  3. Analyze why you chose to fill in the gaps the way you did
  4. Recognize the foundation of your beliefs, especially those with negative impacts
  5. Question the source and validity of your beliefs

The quest for truth versus being right: It's important to distinguish between the desire to discover truth and the need to be right. The quest to be right is about self-importance and conditional self-acceptance, while the quest for truth is about discovery, regardless of whether our beliefs are supported.

9. Conflict arises from defending our ideals and personal importance

As long as we engage in the I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong struggle, there will always be conflict. It is our attachment to being right—our attachment to our personal importance—that keeps us from experiencing freedom in both our Personal Dream and the Dream of the Planet.

Our ideal version of how the world should be often leads to conflict when we try to impose it on others. This stems from our attachment to being right and our personal importance. When we become too attached to an ideal, we lose respect for others and eventually for ourselves.

Ways to avoid conflict:

  • Recognize that there are seven billion different points of view in the world
  • Focus on opening channels of communication and respecting one another
  • Question our own beliefs without shaking our foundation
  • Listen to others without judging
  • Maintain self-respect and avoid taking things personally

The power of listening: By listening to others without giving their words power over us, we become aware of our own truth. This allows us to see what is real for us and what is just an illusion fueled by personal importance.

10. Emotions are real, but their triggers may be based on illusions

What we are experiencing is real, but what triggered the feeling could be based on an illusion or a distortion.

Emotions are an authentic anchor to ourselves and help us communicate with each other. They are real and should not be ignored or suppressed. However, it's crucial to recognize that while the emotions themselves are real, what triggers them may not be based in reality.

Understanding our emotional triggers:

  • Recognize when an emotion is triggered
  • Question what agreement or attachment is at the heart of the emotion
  • Examine whether the trigger is based on reality or faulty information
  • Consider if the trigger is based on an attachment to a certain belief or expectation

Uncomfortable emotions as opportunities: These emotions can be seen as signals, like car alarms, letting us know there's a problem to attend to or a wound to work on. They provide opportunities for self-reflection and growth.

11. Awareness and skepticism: The path to personal freedom

The best way to let go of illusion is choosing to accept the truth as it is presented to us just as it is. As it has been said, "The truth will set you free."

Awareness of our attachments is the first step towards personal freedom. By recognizing how attached we are to various beliefs and ideas, we regain the power to make conscious choices about what we believe and how we engage with the world.

Key practices for personal freedom:

  • Cultivate skepticism and willingness to learn
  • Question your beliefs and their effects on your life
  • Be open to changing your mind without questioning your core being
  • Recognize that what works one day may not work the next
  • Proceed with self-love and self-acceptance at all times

The power of choice: With awareness, we can choose to let go of attachments that no longer serve us and embrace new possibilities. This is the essence of free will and true freedom – the ability to make conscious choices about our beliefs and actions.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.22 out of 5
Average of 4k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Five Levels of Attachment explores Toltec wisdom on how our beliefs shape our experiences. Readers found the book insightful, praising its spiritual depth and transformative potential. Many appreciated the practical examples and ancient wisdom presented in a fresh voice. Some felt it reinforced concepts from other self-help books, while others found it repetitive or difficult to relate to. The book's teachings on letting go of attachments and avoiding judgment resonated with many readers, though some struggled with applying the concepts to real-life situations.

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About the Author

don Miguel Ruiz Jr. is the son of don Miguel Ruiz, author of the bestselling book "The Four Agreements." Following in his father's footsteps, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. has become a prominent voice in sharing Toltec wisdom with modern audiences. His work focuses on helping people understand and overcome their attachments to beliefs and identities that limit their potential. Drawing from his family's spiritual traditions, Ruiz Jr. offers practical guidance for personal growth and self-awareness. His writing style is often described as accessible and relatable, making complex spiritual concepts more approachable for contemporary readers.

Other books by Miguel Ruiz Jr.

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