The Greatest Nobodies of History

1. History's Nobodies Shape the Course of Events

Everyone remembers the heroes, but it is the nobodies who make history.

Unsung heroes. History often focuses on prominent figures, but the actions and decisions of ordinary individuals, the "nobodies," significantly influence the course of events. These seemingly insignificant contributions can have profound and lasting impacts.

Examples of nobodies:

• Genghis Khan’s childhood nanny: Her attentiveness (or lack thereof) could have altered his path.
• Alexander the Great’s friends: Their suggestion of a trip to Persia changed history.
• Michelangelo’s marble dealer: The quality and availability of materials shaped his art.
• Cleopatra’s hairstylist: Her influence on Cleopatra's image affected political alliances.

Interconnectedness of events. Recognizing the role of nobodies highlights the interconnectedness of historical events. Every individual, regardless of their perceived importance, contributes to the complex tapestry of human history.

2. Cynicism as a Path to Authenticity

Of what use is a philosopher who doesn’t hurt anybody’s feelings?

Diogenes's philosophy. Diogenes of Sinope, the "Dog Philosopher," challenged social conventions and hypocrisy through his unconventional behavior and sharp wit. His cynicism was not mere negativity but a deliberate attempt to expose the absurdity of societal norms and encourage a more authentic way of living.

Rejecting societal norms. Diogenes rejected material possessions, lived in a pithos (a large stone jar), and openly defied social expectations. He believed that true freedom came from living in accordance with nature and rejecting the artificial constraints of society.

The Cynic school of thought:

• Radical simplicity: Minimizing material possessions and focusing on essential needs
• Authenticity: Living in accordance with one's true self, regardless of social expectations
• Fearless criticism: Challenging hypocrisy and injustice, even if it offends others

Diogenes's life serves as a reminder that questioning societal norms and embracing authenticity can be a powerful path to personal freedom and philosophical insight.

3. The Price of Purity and the Power of Accusation

I must not love another. I must remain pure and unsullied and not covet so much as a kiss.

Vestal Virgins' sacrifice. Vestal Virgins in ancient Rome held a privileged position but at the cost of their personal freedom and desires. Their vow of chastity symbolized the safety and sanctity of Rome, and any perceived transgression could lead to severe consequences.

Scapegoating and blame:

• Military disasters: Vestals were blamed for military defeats.
• Natural disasters: Vestals were blamed for pestilence and miscarriages.
• Social unrest: Vestals were blamed for unsuitable or immodest behavior.

The trial of Licinia. The trial of Licinia highlights the power of accusation and the vulnerability of those in positions of responsibility. Despite the lack of concrete evidence, she faced the threat of live burial based on suspicion and rumor.

The story of the Vestal Virgins serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of scapegoating, the price of enforced purity, and the importance of due process and fair judgment.

4. Pathogens as Unwilling Participants in Human Affairs

I regret the death part. Killing your host is never ideal. But you do what you need to do in order to survive.

Yersinia's perspective. The interview with Yersinia pestis, the bacterium responsible for the plague, offers a unique perspective on the role of pathogens in human history. While causing immense suffering and death, Yersinia views herself as simply trying to survive and flourish.

The Justinian Plague and Black Death:

• Justinian Plague (541 CE): Yersinia's first major outbreak, spreading from Asia to Constantinople and beyond.
• Black Death (14th century): Yersinia's most devastating pandemic, wiping out a significant portion of Europe's population.

Human impact on disease spread. Yersinia's story highlights how human activities, such as trade, travel, and urbanization, can inadvertently facilitate the spread of disease. The plague thrived in crowded, unsanitary conditions and spread rapidly along trade routes.

Yersinia's perspective reminds us that pathogens are not inherently malicious but are simply organisms trying to survive. Understanding their biology and transmission mechanisms is crucial for preventing future pandemics.

5. Beauty Lies in the Eye of the Beholder (and the Bite of the Critic)

I must be immortalized.

The ferret's ambition. The Master's Ferret's story explores the themes of beauty, ambition, and mortality through the eyes of a particularly vain animal model in Renaissance Milan. The ferret's desire for immortality through art is challenged by the subjective nature of beauty and the whims of artistic taste.

The modeling industry:

• The ferret's career highlights the competitive nature of the modeling industry, even in the animal world.
• The ferret's changing coat color affects his marketability.
• The ferret's mortality threatens his career.

The power of perception. The ferret's self-perception is shattered when he overhears someone calling him "ugly." This experience leads him to question his own value and the nature of beauty itself.

The Master's Ferret's story reminds us that beauty is subjective and fleeting, and that true worth lies in something more than physical appearance.

6. The Absurdity of Authority in the Face of Calamity

It is plain to see that God has taken the physical manifestation of their wickedness and cursed them to perform it in perpetuity, as a symbol of their depravity and a warning to all!

Strasbourg's dancing plague. The report on the dancing plague of Strasbourg highlights the absurdity of authority figures attempting to explain and control a phenomenon they don't understand. The city's ministers offer a range of explanations, from astrological charts to imbalanced humors to divine punishment, but none of them effectively address the crisis.

Ineffective solutions:

• Allowing the dancers to dance it out
• Hiring musicians to encourage continuous dancing
• Banning public dancing and exiling "loose peoples"
• Organizing a mass at the cathedral

The power of belief. The dancing plague ultimately subsides when the people of Strasbourg turn to St. Vitus for divine intervention. This highlights the power of belief and the human need for meaning and control in the face of uncertainty.

The story of the dancing plague serves as a reminder that even in times of crisis, authority figures are not always the most reliable source of guidance, and that sometimes, the most effective solutions are the ones that resonate with people's deepest beliefs and values.

7. The Illusion of Control and the Allure of the Stage

You’re forgetting that I’m a malevolent pathogen.

Yersinia's performance. The interview with Yersinia pestis reveals the complex relationship between the architect of a pandemic and the humans she affects. While Yersinia initially enjoys the attention and excitement of being a part of human society, she eventually comes to realize the devastating consequences of her actions.

The Black Death's impact:

• Widespread death and suffering
• Social and economic disruption
• Loss of faith and hope

The allure of the stage. Yersinia's story highlights the allure of the stage and the desire for recognition and validation. However, it also reveals the emptiness and isolation that can come with fame, especially when it is built on the suffering of others.

Yersinia's journey reminds us that even the most powerful figures are not immune to the consequences of their actions, and that true fulfillment comes from connection and compassion, not from notoriety or control.

8. The Power of Perspective and the Value of Connection

I miss the resolve. Some of you can smile in the face of anything.

Yersinia's admiration. Despite her role in causing immense suffering, Yersinia expresses admiration for the resilience and resolve of humans. She is particularly moved by their ability to find joy and connection even in the face of death and despair.

The story of Pierre:

• Yersinia falls in love with a human boy named Pierre.
• She gives up her malevolent ways to be with him.
• Pierre dies within a week.

The importance of connection. Yersinia's experience with Pierre highlights the importance of human connection and the transformative power of love. It also reveals the inherent loneliness of a pathogen, forever separated from the world she longs to be a part of.

Yersinia's perspective reminds us that even in the darkest of times, human connection and resilience can provide hope and meaning.

9. The Inevitable Cycle of Idealism and Disillusionment

This democracy thing isn’t working out. A king wouldn’t stand for this nonsense.

Athenian citizen's journey. The letters from the concerned citizen of Athens chart a course from idealism to disillusionment as he grapples with the disruptive influence of Diogenes. His initial belief in the power of reason and order is challenged by the philosopher's unconventional behavior and the growing popularity of his cynical philosophy.

The citizen's complaints:

• Diogenes's public defecation and nudity
• The spread of Diogenes's ideas among Athenian citizens
• The disruption of the citizen's birthday party

The failure of democracy. The citizen's growing frustration with the Athenian government's inability to address his concerns leads him to question the very foundations of democracy. He longs for a strong leader who can restore order and suppress dissent.

The Athenian citizen's journey reminds us that even the most cherished ideals can be challenged by the realities of human nature and the complexities of social life.

10. True Kingship Resides in Service, Not in Power

It is not my right to be an Oak. It is my duty!

The Oak's transformation. The Royal Oak's story explores the themes of power, duty, and the true meaning of kingship. Initially a staunch Republican, the Oak is forced to confront his own prejudices when he is called upon to shelter King Charles II from his pursuers.

The King's humility:

• Charles's willingness to disguise himself as a peasant
• Charles's respect for the Penderell family
• Charles's recognition of the Oak's inherent worth

The Oak's realization. By sheltering the King, the Oak comes to understand that true kingship resides not in power or privilege, but in service and protection. He embraces his role as the "King of the Forest" and recognizes his duty to care for all living things within his domain.

The Royal Oak's story reminds us that true leadership is not about domination or control, but about serving others and protecting the vulnerable.

Last updated: March 15, 2025