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The In-Between

The In-Between

Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing: A Spiritual Memoir
by Jeff Goins 2013 176 pages
3.75
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace the In-Between Moments of Life

"Life is full of good things we haven't yet experienced: finding a spouse, having that first child, taking the long-awaited vacation after years of hard work."

Appreciate Life's Transitions. The in-between moments are not merely waiting periods but essential parts of our life journey. These seemingly mundane times are actually filled with potential for personal growth, reflection, and unexpected discoveries.

Significance of Waiting. Waiting is not a passive state but an active process of preparation and transformation. Many of life's most important lessons and personal developments occur during these transitional periods when we're not actively chasing major milestones.

Reframing Perspective. Instead of viewing waiting as a frustrating delay, we can choose to see it as:

  • A time for self-reflection
  • An opportunity for personal development
  • A chance to appreciate the present moment
  • A period of preparation for future challenges

2. Slow Down and Be Present

"If we reserve our joy only for the experiences of a lifetime, we may miss the life in the experience."

Mindful Living. In a world of constant distraction and hurry, slowing down becomes a radical act of self-care and awareness. By being present, we can discover beauty and meaning in ordinary moments that we typically rush past.

Cultural Contrast. Different cultures approach time and presence differently. For example, the Spanish concept of "no pasa nada" (nothing happens) teaches us to be more relaxed and less anxious about perfect timing and constant productivity.

Practical Strategies for Slowing Down:

  • Practice mindfulness meditation
  • Limit digital distractions
  • Take deliberate breaks
  • Engage fully in current activities
  • Appreciate small, everyday moments

3. Waiting is Not Wasted Time

"What we fail to notice as we stand in line—as we wait—is that we, ourselves, are changing."

Personal Transformation. Waiting is not an empty space but a crucial period of internal growth and development. During these seemingly unproductive times, we are actually evolving, learning, and preparing for future challenges.

Psychological Resilience. Learning to wait cultivates important life skills such as:

  • Patience
  • Emotional regulation
  • Adaptability
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Acceptance of uncertainty

Waiting as Preparation. Each waiting period is an opportunity to:

  • Reflect on personal goals
  • Develop new skills
  • Build mental strength
  • Practice gratitude
  • Cultivate inner peace

4. Life's Meaningful Experiences Happen in Transition

"Those were the times that taught me the most that year. And they're the ones that still do today."

Unexpected Wisdom. The most profound life lessons often occur during transitional moments, not during planned, grand events. These in-between spaces are where we truly learn about ourselves and the world.

Value of Unplanned Moments. Meaningful experiences frequently emerge from:

  • Spontaneous interactions
  • Unexpected encounters
  • Moments of vulnerability
  • Periods of uncertainty
  • Small, seemingly insignificant interactions

Openness to Experience. By remaining open and attentive during transitional periods, we create space for unexpected growth, connection, and personal discovery.

5. Patience Reveals Personal Growth

"Maybe the transformation we've been waiting for is actually waiting for us, slowly drawing us in over time."

Gradual Transformation. Personal growth is rarely a sudden, dramatic event but a slow, incremental process. Patience allows us to recognize and appreciate these subtle changes.

Developmental Perspective. Understanding personal growth requires:

  • Accepting non-linear progress
  • Recognizing small improvements
  • Celebrating incremental achievements
  • Maintaining long-term perspective

Self-Compassion. Patience with ourselves during waiting periods helps develop:

  • Emotional resilience
  • Self-understanding
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Increased self-acceptance

6. Finding Your Calling Takes Time

"Some people wait their whole lives for the right career to come along, refusing to begin their lives until they have more clarity."

Calling as a Journey. Discovering one's true purpose is not a destination but a continuous process of exploration, learning, and self-discovery.

Pathway to Purpose:

  • Experiment with different interests
  • Pay attention to activities that energize you
  • Embrace failures as learning opportunities
  • Remain open to unexpected paths
  • Trust the process of self-discovery

Authenticity over Expectation. True calling emerges from aligning personal passions with skills and societal needs, rather than conforming to external expectations.

7. Love and Commitment Require Waiting

"Sometimes, the best gifts in life are the ones you have to wait for."

Depth of Relationship. Meaningful relationships develop through patience, understanding, and consistent investment of time and emotional energy.

Commitment Dynamics:

  • Love is a choice, not just a feeling
  • Relationships require continuous nurturing
  • Vulnerability deepens connection
  • Patience overcomes initial challenges

Relationship Growth. Waiting in love involves:

  • Developing mutual understanding
  • Building trust
  • Learning compromise
  • Supporting each other's individual growth

8. Parenthood is a Journey of Continuous Learning

"Today, the game goes away. Today, we become parents. And I learn that some things you do not get to wait for; you do not get to bide your time until you are ready."

Unexpected Preparedness. Parenthood teaches that no amount of planning fully prepares you for the actual experience of raising a child.

Parental Adaptation. Successful parenting involves:

  • Embracing uncertainty
  • Remaining flexible
  • Practicing unconditional love
  • Continuous learning
  • Letting go of perfectionism

Emotional Transformation. Becoming a parent fundamentally changes one's perspective on life, priorities, and personal limitations.

9. Transformation Can Happen Unexpectedly

"Change doesn't happen in a moment, nor does it always come slowly over time. It's happening here and now, every day."

Unpredictable Change. Personal transformation often occurs in unexpected moments, challenging our assumptions about linear progress.

Catalysts for Change:

  • Profound life experiences
  • Moments of deep reflection
  • Unexpected encounters
  • Personal crisis
  • Spiritual awakening

Openness to Transformation. Embracing change requires:

  • Letting go of rigid expectations
  • Cultivating self-awareness
  • Remaining curious
  • Accepting vulnerability

10. Every Moment is an Opportunity for Change

"I once heard a preacher use a term called 'prevenient grace,' which sounded like a ten-dollar word reserved for seminarians and scholars."

Continuous Potential. Each moment presents an opportunity for personal growth, reflection, and intentional living.

Mindful Living Strategies:

  • Practice present-moment awareness
  • Cultivate gratitude
  • Embrace imperfection
  • Seek learning in every experience
  • Maintain an open mind

Philosophical Perspective. Life is not about reaching a destination but about fully experiencing and learning from each moment of the journey.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.75 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The In-Between is praised for its compelling storytelling and thought-provoking message about embracing life's waiting periods. Readers appreciate Goins' personal anecdotes and insights on finding meaning in everyday moments. While some found the book inspirational and relatable, others felt it lacked biblical depth or concrete advice. The audiobook narration by the author enhanced the experience for many. Overall, reviewers recommend the book for those seeking encouragement during life's transitional phases, though opinions vary on its spiritual content and practical applicability.

Your rating:

About the Author

Jeff Goins is a bestselling author, speaker, and entrepreneur known for challenging conventional wisdom. His five books, including The Art of Work and Real Artists Don't Starve, have garnered widespread acclaim. Goins' popular blog, Goinswriter.com, attracts millions of visitors annually, and his work has been featured in major publications like the Washington Post, Forbes, and Time. Through online courses, events, and coaching programs, he mentors thousands of creatives each year. Goins resides near Nashville, Tennessee, with his family. His writing style is described as approachable and engaging, often drawing from personal experiences to illustrate broader life lessons.

Other books by Jeff Goins

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