The Message Game

1. Meeting is the Ultimate Goal: Prioritize real-world interaction over online chatter.

If you have nothing but words on a screen, it is all meaningless.

Offline over online. The core principle is that online messaging is merely a tool to facilitate real-world connections. Endless texting without a plan to meet is a waste of time. The ultimate aim is physical interaction and building a meaningful connection in the physical world.

SMS means "Short Message Service." The author emphasizes that people are not using it that way anymore. The goal is not to get lost in endless digital conversations, but to transition them into face-to-face interactions.

• Avoid the trap of "getting to know each other" solely through messaging.
• Prioritize meeting in person to build a genuine connection.

Real-world experiences. The author stresses that a real adventure is far superior to any experience that was less than actually meeting. The goal is to track this person down and have a meaningful connection in a realm of physical existence, not touching a screen to stimulate your brain or eradicate your boredom.

2. Efficiency is Key: Cut through the noise and get straight to the point.

Let’s skip all the bullshit.

No time for fluff. In a world of endless online distractions, brevity and directness are essential. Avoid generic openers like "Hi" or "How are you?" that lead to nowhere. Instead, make your intentions clear and move the conversation forward.

Purposeful communication. Every message should serve a purpose, ideally leading to arranging a meeting. The author advocates for skipping the "bullshit formalities" and getting straight to the point.

• Avoid wasting time on meaningless exchanges.
• Focus on messages that progress the interaction towards a date.

The spontaneous line. The author's famous line, "Let's skip all the bullshit. How spontaneous are you?" is a prime example of this principle. It's direct, engaging, and immediately screens for compatibility.

3. Be Decisive and Lead: Take charge and guide the interaction.

Girls like having a man who is capable enough to make the decisions.

Take control. Women are attracted to men who can make decisions and take the lead. Don't wait for her to plan the date or choose the restaurant. Be proactive and guide the interaction.

Avoid indecisiveness. The author emphasizes that women do not want a man who cannot make his mind up and cannot make decisions. Be confident in your choices and take charge of the situation.

• Suggest specific activities or locations for the date.
• Don't ask open-ended questions like "What do you want to do?"

Be the man. The author stresses that you have to stop being a girl and start being a man. Feminization and suppression of masculine traits in society in recent years have caused a lot of social awkwardness and confusion between males and females.

4. Know What You Want: Define your dating goals to direct your actions.

You need to understand your goals so you know what you have to do.

Define your intentions. Before engaging in online dating, clarify your goals. Are you looking for a casual hookup, a long-term relationship, or something in between? Knowing what you want will help you focus your efforts and attract the right kind of partner.

Short-term and long-term goals. The author advises that you have to, at the very least, know what you want in the short term. Short term, you may want to meet a girl to see where it goes without thinking about the distant future, but if you are not showing her what you want, she will be asking herself what you want from her.

• Be honest with yourself and others about your intentions.
• Avoid wasting time on interactions that don't align with your goals.

Simplify the process. The author suggests that your thought process needs to be simplified. You are there to match with girls so you can take them out. All you have to do is match, talk, meet.

5. Screen, Don't Entertain: Evaluate compatibility, not perform for attention.

You do not need to juggle or try to impress everyone you interact with.

Focus on screening. Instead of trying to impress every girl you encounter, focus on identifying those who are genuinely compatible with you. Ask questions that reveal their personality, values, and interests.

Avoid entertainment. The author warns against using messages for entertainment. It is ridiculous as to how many people think that you have to entertain a girl with words in order to build her interest in you, in order to get her buying temperature high, in order to get her out with you.

• Use questions to gauge their level of spontaneity or adventurousness.
• Look for shared interests and values.

The adventurous line. The author's line, "Let's skip all the bullshit. How adventurous are you?" is a great example of this principle. It immediately screens for compatibility and sets the tone for a fun, engaging interaction.

6. Social Media Strategy: Use platforms strategically, focusing on long-term connection.

Facebook profiles are literally life blogs in the form of mass messages to everyone who sees what you post.

Platform selection. Choose the right social media platform for your goals. While WhatsApp is useful for immediate communication, Facebook and Instagram offer long-term connection and social proof.

Facebook's underrated advantage. The author emphasizes the very fact that once you become friends on Facebook, you can stay friends forever and see what everyone else is up to in their lives, and others can also see what you are doing if you post things.

• Facebook allows you to see mutual connections, increasing trust and familiarity.
• Instagram is useful for showcasing your lifestyle and attracting attention.

Avoid Instagram traps. The author warns against taking messaging a girl from Tinder to Instagram. First, so many female Tinder profiles are made just to gain followers on Instagram for validation, knowing that suckers on Tinder desperately hoping to get girls will follow them and message them.

7. Timing Matters: Avoid appearing desperate by spacing out responses.

Optimally, the time it takes you to reply to someone should tell her that you have other girls to talk to and that you have a life and things to do.

Avoid immediate responses. Responding too quickly can make you appear desperate or overly eager. Space out your responses to convey that you have a life outside of online dating.

The 150% rule. The author suggests that you should wait at least 150% of the time she took in the case of up to a few hours as a general, but loose, rule. It’s not black and white, just recommended.

• If she takes an hour to respond, wait at least 90 minutes before replying.
• If she takes a day to respond, wait at least 36 hours before replying.

Time-sensitive exceptions. The author notes that there is only one situation in which you should respond in very quick time, and that is if you are meeting at that moment and you are trying to look for each other.

8. Embrace Rejection: Don't take it personally; move on to the next opportunity.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Rejection is inevitable. Not every girl will be interested in you, and that's okay. Don't take it personally or dwell on the rejection. Instead, focus on the next opportunity.

Avoid reactivity. The author warns that you should never be reactive towards a girl if she ignores you, rejects you or says something negative. Never fall into her frame when this happens either.

• Don't send angry or accusatory messages.
• Don't try to convince her to change her mind.

Abundance mindset. The author stresses that you should have access to many options so that if one is less responsive, you can work on five other interactions.

9. Solve Problems, Don't Dwell: Address obstacles to meeting, not create them.

Be a man and fucking deal with it.

Focus on solutions. When faced with obstacles to meeting, such as scheduling conflicts or logistical challenges, focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.

Embrace flexibility. The author advises that you embrace the fact that you and her are both, in most cases, going to live beyond the short-term realities of the right-now. There have been times that I did not see certain girls or go on a date, or in some cases another date, with her until weeks, months or even over a year later.

• Suggest alternative dates or times.
• Offer to help with transportation or other logistical issues.

Voice-to-voice communication. The author suggests that voice-to-voice is a great way to solve problems. I simply talked her through the plan step by step to relieve her of her worries that she would miss her transport, and she was happy.

10. Optimize Your Presentation: Ensure your online presence reflects your best self.

High quality photos are important.

First impressions matter. Your Tinder profile is your first impression, so make sure it's a good one. Use high-quality photos that showcase your personality, interests, and lifestyle.

Avoid common mistakes. The author warns against putting up photos of themselves from 20 years earlier when they were a kid. What is the point of that? Nobody is going to care about your childhood, these girls did not go on Tinder to date people based on photos of children.

• Avoid group photos where it's unclear which person you are.
• Avoid selfies, especially mirror selfies.

Showcase your best self. The author advises that you should be marketing your personal image of your physical body to girls. Every photo must have you in it, and it must also be clear and big enough to see you.

Last updated: March 27, 2025