Key Takeaways
1. Understand your baby's sleep cycles to establish healthy patterns
Sleep is probably the most misunderstood and confusing aspect of parenthood.
Sleep cycles evolve. Newborns start sleep in REM (active) sleep, while adults begin with non-REM sleep. By three months, babies develop a more adult-like sleep cycle, lasting about 40 minutes. This evolution explains why many parents experience sleep problems around 8-12 weeks.
Daytime sleep impacts night sleep. Poor quality daytime sleep can affect a baby's mental development and ability to sleep well at night. Aim for age-appropriate daytime sleep:
- Birth to 4 weeks: 5 to 5½ hours
- 4 to 8 weeks: 4 to 4½ hours
- 8 to 12 weeks: 3½ hours
- 3 to 6 months: 3 hours
- 6 to 12 months: 2 to 3 hours
Understanding these patterns helps parents establish healthy sleep habits and avoid overtiredness, which can lead to difficulty settling and frequent night wakings.
2. Establish a consistent bedtime routine early on
The sooner a bedtime routine is established, the less likely the parents are to encounter problems trying to settle their baby.
Start early. Contrary to popular belief that bedtime routines should start between 6-12 weeks, establishing a routine as early as the fifth day can prevent evening crying and promote better sleep patterns.
A good bedtime routine typically includes:
- Bath time
- Feeding
- Quiet activities (e.g., reading, singing)
- Settling in bed
Consistency is key. A regular routine helps signal to the baby that it's time to sleep, making the settling process easier over time. This early establishment of sleep habits can have long-lasting positive effects on the baby's sleep patterns and overall development.
3. Address hunger as a primary cause of unsettled evenings
While a good weekly weight gain will indicate that a baby is receiving enough milk over a 24-hour period, it does not mean that he is getting enough milk at his bedtime feed in order to settle and sleep well in the evening.
Cluster feeding isn't normal. Contrary to popular belief, cluster feeding (constant feeding for hours in the evening) isn't a normal behavior but often indicates low milk supply. This can lead to exhausted babies and parents.
To address hunger-related unsettled evenings:
- Implement an increased milk supply plan for breastfeeding mothers
- Adjust feeding schedules for bottle-fed babies
- Ensure proper solid food intake for babies over 6 months
By addressing hunger effectively, parents can significantly reduce evening fussiness and promote longer sleep stretches, benefiting both baby and parents.
4. Eliminate sleep associations like feeding and rocking to sleep
If you constantly cuddle, rock, feed or use a dummy to get your baby to sleep, it is what he will come to associate with falling asleep.
Sleep associations create dependencies. While these methods may work in the short term, they often lead to frequent night wakings as the baby expects the same conditions to fall back asleep.
To eliminate sleep associations:
- Gradually reduce the association (e.g., shorter rocking time)
- Put the baby down drowsy but awake
- Use alternative soothing methods like patting or shushing
- Be consistent in your approach
Breaking these associations may lead to some temporary discomfort, but it's crucial for developing independent sleep skills. This process typically takes about a week, but the long-term benefits of better sleep for both baby and parents are substantial.
5. Transition from swaddling to independent sleeping
Swaddling, like the dummy, can become a sleep prop, and if allowed for too long can actually end up causing a sleeping problem instead of helping the baby sleep better.
Gradual transition is key. While swaddling can be beneficial for newborns, it's important to transition away from it as the baby grows to prevent dependency and allow for natural movement.
Transition plan:
- Start with one arm out (semi-swaddle) for morning and late afternoon naps
- Progress to half-swaddle (under arms) for these naps
- Extend semi-swaddle to lunchtime nap and early evening
- Finally, transition to a sleeping bag or loose swaddle at night
This gradual approach, typically taking about a week, helps the baby adjust to sleeping without the tight constraint of swaddling while still feeling secure. It's an important step in developing independent sleep skills and preparing for more active sleep positions.
6. Tackle dummy addiction with a gradual approach
If you are going to eliminate it at sleep times it will be easier in the long term to eliminate it totally and not have a dummy in the house at all.
Complete elimination is most effective. While dummies can be useful for soothing, they often become a sleep crutch, leading to frequent night wakings.
One-week plan to eliminate dummy use:
- Days 1-3: Eliminate dummy at nap times, use for bedtime and night
- Days 4-5: Implement later bedtime, eliminate dummy completely
- Days 6-7: Return to normal bedtime, allow self-settling
This approach balances the need to break the dummy habit with minimizing distress to the baby. It's important to be consistent and resist the temptation to reintroduce the dummy during difficult moments. The end goal is a baby who can self-soothe and sleep independently without relying on external aids.
7. Move from co-sleeping to cot sleeping systematically
There are no half measures when transitioning your baby from your bed to his cot – if it is to be successful it is either all or nothing.
Consistency is crucial. Transitioning from co-sleeping to cot sleeping requires a systematic approach and unwavering commitment from parents.
Key steps in the transition:
- Choose the right time (e.g., no illnesses, stressful events)
- Start with a later bedtime for the first few nights
- Stay in the room initially, gradually reducing presence
- Use consistent settling techniques (e.g., patting, shushing)
- Gradually extend time between check-ins
This process typically takes about a week. It's important to address any other sleep associations (like feeding to sleep) simultaneously. While there may be some tears and disrupted nights initially, consistent implementation leads to independent sleeping in the long run, benefiting both baby and parents.
8. Use gentle sleep training techniques before resorting to controlled crying
Controlled crying should only be used as a last resort to solve problems, when all other methods have failed.
Start with gentle methods. Before considering more intense sleep training, try techniques like shush-pat, assisting-to-sleep routine, or crying down.
Gentle sleep training techniques:
- Shush-pat: Calm baby with rhythmic patting and shushing
- Assisting-to-sleep: Gradually reduce physical presence while baby falls asleep
- Crying down: Allow short periods of fussing to encourage self-settling
These methods can be effective for many babies and involve minimal distress. However, if these gentle approaches don't work after consistent implementation, controlled crying might be considered as a last resort. It's crucial to ensure all the baby's needs are met and to consult with a healthcare provider before starting any sleep training method.
Last updated:
Download PDF
Download EPUB
.epub
digital book format is ideal for reading ebooks on phones, tablets, and e-readers.