The Pyramid Mind

1. Integrative Mind Mastery: Learn from All Approaches

It is a story about how you can develop extraordinary mastery in your eld by being willing to learn from those who come from di erent backgrounds.

Combine and optimize. Just as Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighters combine techniques from various combat styles (striking, grappling, wrestling) to become well-rounded, the field of psychotherapy has seen a rise in the integrative approach. This means drawing the most effective methods from different therapeutic schools like CBT, psychodynamic, and humanistic therapy. The core idea is that no single approach has all the answers for every situation or person.

Beyond single schools. Historically, both martial arts and psychotherapy were dominated by single, often rivalrous, schools. MMA emerged from competitions like the UFC, where fighters from different disciplines tested their skills, leading to the realization that borrowing techniques was crucial for success. Similarly, integrative therapy grew from therapists recognizing the limitations of single-school approaches and seeking to increase efficacy and applicability by learning from others.

Flexibility and adaptability. The integrative approach in therapy allows practitioners to tailor treatment plans to individual client needs, rather than trying to fit clients into a rigid theoretical framework. This flexibility makes it possible to address a wider range of issues and adapt strategies if initial methods aren't effective. It's about being open-minded and continuously learning to build a diverse skill set for ultimate mastery in self-care and helping others.

2. The Pyramid Model: Your Mind's Six Levels

The Pyramid Model consists of six interconnected parts that are responsible for six key mental functions: reason, beliefs, memories, emotions, speech and behaviour.

A simplified map. Understanding the complex human mind can be challenging, so simplified models are useful for self-understanding and self-care. The Pyramid Model artificially divides the mind's functioning into six key, interconnected levels, visualized as a double pyramid. This model helps organize how we think, feel, remember, communicate, and act.

Conscious and unconscious. The double pyramid structure highlights different aspects of the mind. The top pyramid (Reason, Beliefs, Memories) represents levels that are generally more conscious and accessible when we introspect. The bottom pyramid (Emotions, Speech, Behaviour) represents levels that are often more unconscious or automatic, but also more visible to others observing us.

Dimensions of mental health. The model aligns with key dimensions integrative therapists consider: cognition (Reason, Beliefs, Memories), emotion (Emotions), and behavior (Speech, Behaviour). Addressing all six levels is proposed as essential for optimal wellbeing, confidence, happiness, and performance. Neglecting any one area can diminish overall mental health.

3. Understand Your Memory: Different Types, Different Rules

Each of these types of memory has a di erent nature.

More than one box. Memory isn't a single storage unit; it's comprised of multiple distinct systems located in different brain regions. These systems have different mechanisms of formation, serve different purposes, and require different techniques to manage or change.

Key memory types:

• Working Memory: Holds and manipulates information temporarily (seconds to minutes). Located in the prefrontal cortex.
• Long-Term Memory: Stores information for extended periods (days to a lifetime).
  • Episodic Memory: Personal past events (what happened, where, when, how it felt).
  • Semantic Memory: Facts, knowledge, concepts, beliefs (general knowledge).
  • Procedural Memory: Skills, habits, how to do things (motor and verbal habits).
  • Emotional Memory: Learned emotional responses to triggers (associations).

Explicit vs. Implicit. Long-term memory is often categorized as explicit (conscious recall, like episodic and semantic) and implicit (unconscious recall, like procedural and emotional). Understanding which memory system is involved is crucial for effective self-management and therapeutic intervention, as different tools are needed for each.

4. Your Memories Are Malleable: You Can Reshape the Past

In fact, memories are highly malleable or plastic constructs.

Not a video recording. Contrary to popular belief, memories of events are not fixed, perfect recordings. They are dynamic, constantly changing, easily influenced, and prone to distortion. Our brains don't capture every detail and often fill in gaps using current knowledge, beliefs, or external information, effectively updating the memory each time it's recalled.

Filling the blanks. Because our perception and storage are limited, there are natural gaps in our recollections. When we remember, the brain reconstructs the event, often incorporating new information or current feelings. This means revisiting a memory can subtly alter it, blending the original experience with present-day influences.

Opportunity for change. While memory's malleability can lead to inaccuracies (like false convictions), it offers a powerful opportunity for mental health. We can learn to reprocess distressing memories, mitigating their negative emotional charge or extracting valuable lessons. The goal isn't to deny what happened, but to reinterpret and integrate the experience in a way that supports future wellbeing and growth.

5. Master Your Attention: Develop Mindfulness (Reason)

mindfulness is the ability to pay attention to the present moment, without judgement.

The CEO's focus. The Reason system, or prefrontal cortex, acts as the brain's CEO, responsible for executive functions like attention, working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. Focused attention is fundamental to all these skills. However, our minds often wander, pulled by automatic thoughts or external distractions.

Zoning out's cost. Mind-wandering is natural, but excessive zoning out can lead to missing important moments, making mistakes, forgetting things, and feeling like time flies by. Modern life, with its constant stimuli, can exacerbate this tendency, reducing our conscious control over behavior and negatively impacting performance and wellbeing.

Train your focus. Mindfulness, rooted in ancient practices but now a secular skill, is the antidote to excessive mind-wandering. It's trained through meditation, which isn't about emptying the mind, but noticing when attention drifts and gently bringing it back to a chosen anchor (like breath or senses). This practice strengthens the ability to sustain and redirect attention, leading to reduced stress, improved cognitive function, and increased life satisfaction.

6. Master Your Thoughts: Think Realistically (Beliefs)

when it comes to combating negative thoughts, and to thought management overall, I’d recommend starting with realistic thinking.

Automatic chatter. The Belief system stores our knowledge and beliefs and constantly generates automatic thoughts – subconscious, instantaneous interpretations of events. These thoughts, often experienced as self-talk, are products of our underlying beliefs and run almost non-stop, trying to make sense of the world.

Negative spirals. While some automatic thoughts are neutral or positive, many are negative, critical, or based on false assumptions. Excessive negative self-talk can lead to downward thought spirals, intensifying negative emotions like anxiety, sadness, or frustration, and negatively impacting mental and physical health, as well as blocking progress towards goals.

Cultivate realism. Instead of trying to force positive thinking, which can feel inauthentic if it contradicts deeply held beliefs, focus on realistic thinking. This involves critically examining negative thoughts, evaluating the evidence for and against them, and replacing biased interpretations with more balanced, fact-based alternatives. Realistic thinking, unlike extreme optimism or pessimism, is associated with higher long-term wellbeing and better decision-making. Tools like thought records help monitor and challenge unhelpful thought patterns.

7. Master Your Memories: Learn from the Past (Episodic Memory)

Your memory is a powerful tool for teachings and guidance.

Beyond rumination. While dwelling on the past (rumination) is unproductive and linked to distress, ignoring the past entirely is also detrimental. Episodic memory, our record of personal events, is a vital resource. It provides context, informs our present actions, and guides future decisions based on past successes and failures.

Self-reflection's power. A healthy way to engage with the past is through self-reflection. Unlike rumination, which is repetitive and emotionally charged, self-reflection is goal-oriented and productive. It involves reviewing past events with a non-judgmental attitude and actively seeking to extract lessons, insights, or meaning, even from difficult experiences.

Transforming memories. By engaging in self-reflection, we can reframe negative memories. Identifying lessons learned or growth achieved during a challenging period can reduce the emotional sting of the original event. Regularly scheduling time for reviews (daily, weekly, monthly) and using tools like structured tables or journaling helps process experiences and proactively build a knowledge base from our life journey. Adopting a third-person perspective ("zoom out") can also create psychological distance from painful recollections.

8. Master Your Emotions: Improve Regulation (Emotional Memory)

Emotional regulation (or emotional self-regulation) is a term generally used to describe a person’s ability to recognise and manage their emotions in helpful ways.

Useful signals. Emotions, both positive and negative, serve an evolutionary purpose, guiding us towards beneficial situations and away from danger. They are quick signals that can override rational thought in emergencies. Ignoring emotions disconnects us from vital information about our internal state and external environment.

Overwhelm's impact. While feeling emotions is healthy, emotional overwhelm occurs when feelings become so intense they are difficult to manage, leading to overreactions, physical symptoms, and impaired functioning. This can be triggered by single significant stressors or an accumulation of challenges. Learning to manage emotions is crucial for maintaining balance and wellbeing.

Develop regulation skills. Emotional regulation is a learned skill, not an innate trait. It involves monitoring, adjusting, and expressing emotions appropriately. Techniques like labeling emotions ("I feel angry," "Sadness") activate the rational brain (prefrontal cortex), reducing the intensity of emotional responses and creating psychological distance. Controlled breathing, particularly deep diaphragmatic breathing, is another powerful tool to calm the nervous system and manage stress or anxiety. Investigating the underlying triggers (often thoughts or situations) for recurring negative emotions is also key to addressing their root cause.

9. Master Your Words: Create Constructive Stories (Verbal Habits)

the way you tell your stories can a ect your mental wellbeing.

We are storytellers. Humans constantly create and share stories about their lives, relationships, and the world. These narratives organize information, help us find meaning, and shape our understanding of events. Our belief system silently constructs these stories, which are then verbalized, often becoming ingrained verbal habits we repeat over time.

Contamination's cost. Psychologists have identified "contamination stories" that start positively but end negatively, where good beginnings are spoiled by bad outcomes. Research links telling these stories to lower psychological wellbeing, depression, and reduced life satisfaction. The narratives we repeat reinforce corresponding beliefs and emotions, influencing our future behavior and potentially creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

Build constructive narratives. Healthy stories, in contrast, end constructively, incorporating elements like personal growth, resilience, finding meaning, or identifying new opportunities, even if the outcome wasn't initially desired. Focusing on a "character arc" – how you changed for the better through challenges – is a powerful way to reframe experiences. Structuring your stories (e.g., using a five-act arc) and writing them out helps gain perspective and allows you to consciously edit and enrich the resolution, making your narrative more balanced, empowering, and reflective of the full truth of your experience.

10. Master Your Behaviour: Build Good Habits (Motor Habits)

As Aristotle once said: ‘We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.’

Automatic actions. Habits are automatic behaviors performed with minimal conscious thought, stored as procedural memories. They make up a significant portion (around 40%) of our daily actions, simplifying life and freeing up mental resources for higher-level thinking. Procedural memories are resistant to decay, making habits difficult to break but also durable once formed.

The impact of habits. While some habits are benign or beneficial (like brushing teeth), others are detrimental ("bad habits") and can severely impact health, productivity, and goal achievement. Even seemingly small bad habits, like excessive phone scrolling or unhealthy eating, compound over time, leading to significant negative consequences.

Focus on building. The most effective way to change behavior isn't just trying to stop bad habits, but actively building new, good habits that can replace or marginalize the old ones. This involves establishing clear cues in your environment to trigger the desired behavior, starting incredibly small to make the new habit easy and ensure consistency, and tracking progress to visualize momentum and stay motivated. Consistency and repetition are key, as habits require time and overlearning to become automatic and deeply ingrained.

Last updated: May 14, 2025