The Recovering Spender

1. Acknowledge the Spending Addiction

You need to admit that you have a spending problem to yourself before you will be able to accept the help you need.

Facing the truth. The initial and crucial step towards recovery from compulsive spending is acknowledging the existence of the problem. This involves recognizing the negative impact of overspending on one's life, relationships, and overall well-being. Without this honest self-assessment, any attempts at change will likely be superficial and unsustainable.

Self-assessment quiz. To aid in this process, individuals can utilize self-assessment tools, such as the spending quiz provided in the book, to identify warning signs and gauge the severity of their spending habits. These tools can help bring awareness to behaviors that may have been previously dismissed or rationalized.

Taking responsibility. Acknowledging the problem also entails taking full responsibility for past financial choices and understanding that change is possible. This shift in mindset is essential for moving forward and embracing the necessary steps towards recovery.

2. Seek Guidance Beyond Self

Was God the missing piece of the puzzle for me?

Turning to a higher power. Recognizing the limitations of self-reliance is a key component of recovery. This involves seeking guidance and support from a source greater than oneself, whether it be a religious faith, a spiritual practice, or a belief in a universal force for good.

Finding strength in faith. For many, this means turning to their religious faith for strength, comfort, and direction. Prayer, meditation, and engagement with religious communities can provide a sense of purpose and connection that helps to overcome the urge to spend compulsively.

Embracing humility. Seeking guidance beyond self requires humility and a willingness to surrender control. It involves acknowledging that one is not alone in their struggle and that there is a source of strength and wisdom available to help them through the process.

3. Confess to Another

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.

Breaking the cycle of secrecy. Sharing one's spending habits with another person is a vital step in breaking the cycle of secrecy and shame that often fuels compulsive spending. This act of vulnerability can be incredibly empowering and can provide a sense of relief and support.

Choosing an accountability partner. The person chosen to confide in should be someone who is trustworthy, non-judgmental, and supportive. This individual can serve as an accountability partner, providing encouragement, guidance, and a listening ear throughout the recovery process.

Benefits of confession. Confessing to another person not only helps to alleviate shame but also creates an external source of accountability. Knowing that someone else is aware of one's spending habits can provide a powerful incentive to stay on track and avoid relapse.

4. Inventory Debts Owed

Always pay them off first even though they will be the most forgiving.

Listing all obligations. A crucial step in regaining control of one's finances is to create a comprehensive list of all debts owed. This includes not only formal loans and credit card balances but also informal debts to friends and family members.

Prioritizing relationships. When prioritizing debt repayment, it is essential to prioritize debts to friends and family members. These debts can strain relationships and create emotional distress, so it is important to address them as quickly as possible.

Creating a repayment plan. Once the list of debts is complete, a repayment plan should be created, outlining the order in which debts will be paid off and the amount that will be allocated to each debt each month. This plan should be realistic and sustainable, taking into account one's income and expenses.

5. Assess Spending Patterns

You spend your money where your values lie.

Tracking expenses. To gain a clear understanding of one's spending habits, it is necessary to track all expenses for a period of time, typically one to three months. This can be done using a budgeting app, a spreadsheet, or a simple notebook.

Categorizing transactions. Once the expenses have been tracked, they should be categorized into different spending categories, such as housing, food, transportation, entertainment, and clothing. This will help to identify areas where spending is excessive or misaligned with one's values.

Identifying triggers. In addition to tracking expenses, it is also important to identify the triggers that lead to overspending. These triggers may be emotional, such as stress or boredom, or they may be situational, such as shopping with friends or browsing online stores.

6. Construct a Budget Fence

Budgeting is actually a Spender’s best-kept secret and best friend.

Creating a safe space. A budget serves as a "fence" around one's finances, providing a sense of security and control. It outlines how much money is available for each spending category and helps to prevent overspending.

Allocating funds. The budget should be based on one's income, expenses, and financial goals. It should allocate funds for essential needs, debt repayment, savings, and discretionary spending.

Flexibility and adjustments. It is important to remember that a budget is not set in stone. It should be reviewed and adjusted regularly to reflect changes in income, expenses, and priorities.

7. Establish Personal Boundaries

Those boundaries give me a great sense of freedom, and I can’t wait to share why!

Identifying triggers. Recognizing personal triggers for overspending is crucial for establishing effective boundaries. These triggers may include specific stores, websites, or emotional states.

Setting limits. Once the triggers have been identified, it is important to set clear limits on spending in those areas. This may involve avoiding certain stores or websites altogether, limiting the amount of time spent shopping, or setting a maximum spending amount for each month.

Accountability and support. Enlisting the support of an accountability partner can be helpful in maintaining boundaries. This person can provide encouragement, guidance, and a listening ear when the urge to overspend arises.

8. Eliminate Clutter for Clarity

Clutter steals your joy and robs you of happiness.

Physical clutter reflects financial clutter. A cluttered home can often be a reflection of a cluttered mind and cluttered finances. By decluttering one's physical space, it is possible to create a sense of calm and clarity that can positively impact financial decision-making.

Selling unwanted items. Decluttering also provides an opportunity to generate extra income by selling unwanted items. This money can then be used to pay down debt or build an emergency fund.

Creating a peaceful environment. A clean and organized home can promote a sense of well-being and reduce stress, which can help to curb emotional spending.

9. Organize Financial Records

You need to get in the habit of being aware of when money is being deducted from your account.

Centralizing financial information. Organizing financial records is essential for gaining a clear understanding of one's financial situation. This involves gathering all relevant documents, such as bank statements, credit card bills, loan agreements, and tax returns, and storing them in a designated location.

Creating a system. A system should be created for organizing these documents, whether it be a physical filing system or a digital one. This system should be easy to use and maintain, ensuring that important information can be quickly and easily accessed.

Reviewing regularly. Financial records should be reviewed regularly to track income, expenses, and debt levels. This will help to identify any potential problems and make informed financial decisions.

10. Prioritize Debt Repayment

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.

Understanding the cost of debt. Debt can be a significant burden, both financially and emotionally. It is important to understand the true cost of debt, including interest rates, fees, and the impact on one's credit score.

Choosing a repayment strategy. There are several different strategies for prioritizing debt repayment, such as the debt snowball method (paying off the smallest debts first) and the debt avalanche method (paying off the highest interest rate debts first). The best strategy will depend on one's individual circumstances and preferences.

Making extra payments. To accelerate debt repayment, it is important to make extra payments whenever possible. This can be done by cutting expenses, increasing income, or both.

11. Supplement Income Strategically

I was able to take that same passion that I had when dancing as a child and turn it toward a passion for being debt-free?

Exploring income-generating opportunities. To accelerate debt repayment and achieve financial freedom, it is often necessary to supplement one's income. This can be done by exploring various income-generating opportunities, such as freelancing, starting a side business, or taking on a part-time job.

Leveraging skills and interests. When choosing an income-generating opportunity, it is important to leverage one's skills and interests. This will make the work more enjoyable and increase the likelihood of success.

Avoiding debt-inducing schemes. It is important to be wary of get-rich-quick schemes or multi-level marketing opportunities that require a significant upfront investment. These schemes can often lead to further debt and financial distress.

12. Align Spending with Core Values

Once your money and values are in sync, it is much easier to stop spending.

Identifying core values. The final step in becoming a Recovering Spender is to align one's spending with their core values. This involves identifying what is truly important in life, such as family, health, education, or community, and making sure that spending reflects those priorities.

Creating a financial bucket list. A financial bucket list can be a helpful tool for identifying and prioritizing financial goals that are aligned with one's values. This list should include specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals.

Making conscious choices. By aligning spending with core values, it becomes easier to make conscious choices about how to allocate one's money. This can lead to a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment, as well as a more sustainable financial future.

Last updated: March 28, 2025