The Secret Piano

1. Early life in Communist China shaped Zhu Xiao-Mei's musical journey

"My grandmother liked to tell this story: 'The evening you were born, I looked out at the sky over Shanghai. The setting sun was breaking through the clouds. I had never seen such a beautiful sunset. I remember thinking that your life would be a resplendent tapestry, just like that palette of reds. I was sure of it.'"

Childhood in changing China. Born in 1949, the year of the Communist revolution, Zhu Xiao-Mei grew up in a family with a bourgeois background. Her early years were marked by the stark contrast between her family's cultured past and the new realities of Communist China.

Introduction to music. Despite the challenging circumstances, Zhu's mother managed to keep a piano, which became a central figure in young Xiao-Mei's life. At age three, she was fascinated by this "object that spoke when you touched it." This early exposure to music, particularly Western classical music, would shape her future trajectory.

Political pressures mount. As Zhu grew older, the political climate in China became increasingly hostile towards those with "bad class backgrounds." Her family's past and their possession of a piano made them targets of suspicion, foreshadowing the difficulties that lay ahead.

2. The Cultural Revolution's devastating impact on art and education

"We wrote one Dazibao after another, each day searching for something new to say, whether it was based on fact or not: 'It is our professors' fault that we have had a bad education!' 'The father of our Russian professor translated Chiang Kai-shek!'"

Upheaval at the Conservatory. When the Cultural Revolution began in 1966, Zhu was a student at the Beijing Conservatory. The once-nurturing environment quickly devolved into chaos as students were encouraged to denounce their teachers and Western music was banned.

Destruction of culture. Zhu witnessed and participated in the destruction of musical scores, instruments, and other cultural artifacts. The burning of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven scores symbolized the rejection of Western influence and the severing of ties with China's own rich cultural heritage.

Personal turmoil. Caught between her love for music and the pressure to be a "good revolutionary," Zhu struggled with her identity. She was forced to criticize her teachers and even questioned her own family's background, illustrating the deep psychological impact of the Cultural Revolution on individuals.

3. Survival and musical resilience in labor camps

"I hesitated a long time before telling my story. My father often reminds me how useless it is to speak of the past: 'What does it serve, Xiao-Mei? When you die, you shouldn't leave a trace. Even if you want to, it's not possible.'"

Re-education through labor. In 1969, at age 20, Zhu was sent to a labor camp for "re-education." For five years, she endured harsh conditions, physical labor, and constant political indoctrination. Despite these challenges, her passion for music remained undiminished.

Secret musical practice. Through ingenuity and determination, Zhu managed to continue her musical education in the camps:

• She acquired an old accordion and practiced Chopin etudes on it
• With help from the outside, she obtained and secretly copied musical scores
• She and fellow musicians organized clandestine concerts

Personal growth amidst hardship. The camp experience, while traumatic, also taught Zhu valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and the power of music to sustain the human spirit in the darkest of times.

4. Escape to America and the struggle to rebuild a musical career

"I am not afraid, because I have crossed through storms and deserts. I am not afraid, because I must cross through storms and deserts."

Journey to freedom. In 1980, at age 31, Zhu managed to leave China for the United States. This marked the beginning of a new chapter filled with both opportunity and challenges.

Starting over. In America, Zhu faced numerous obstacles:

• Language barrier
• Cultural differences
• Financial struggles
• The need to rebuild her musical skills after years of interruption

Persistence pays off. Despite these challenges, Zhu's determination led her to:

• Enroll in the New England Conservatory
• Study under respected teachers like Gabriel Chodos
• Gradually rebuild her technique and repertoire

5. Rediscovery of Bach's Goldberg Variations as a transformative experience

"The more I worked on the Goldberg Variations, the more it seemed to me that Bach provides a perfect illustration of this horizontal thrust in music, of the line and movement that had become increasingly precious to me."

A musical revelation. During a difficult period in Boston, Zhu discovered Bach's Goldberg Variations. This work became a turning point in her musical and personal life.

Deep connection with the music. Zhu found in the Variations:

• A reflection of life's complexities and contradictions
• A source of comfort and inspiration
• A challenge that pushed her to new levels of musical understanding

Philosophical insights. Through her study of the Goldberg Variations, Zhu began to draw connections between Bach's music and Chinese philosophy, particularly Taoism. This synthesis of Eastern and Western thought became a defining feature of her interpretation and approach to music.

6. Return to China and reconciliation with the past

"I was overwhelmed by tremendous feelings of guilt; despite twelve years in exile, their daughter still didn't earn enough money to help them."

Emotional homecoming. In 1992, Zhu returned to China for the first time in 12 years. This visit was marked by a mix of emotions:

• Joy at reuniting with family
• Guilt over her absence and inability to help them financially
• Shock at the changes in Chinese society

Healing through music. Playing her childhood piano for her mother became a powerful moment of reconnection and healing. It symbolized the continuity of her musical journey despite the upheavals of history.

Honoring the past. Zhu's visit also allowed her to pay respects to those who had suffered during the Cultural Revolution, including her former teachers and mentors. This act of remembrance helped her come to terms with her own past and the collective trauma of her generation.

7. Late-blooming career and the power of perseverance

"The Chinese believe that life begins at forty. It always amuses me to think about this, because that's exactly how old I was when my career really started to gain momentum."

A new beginning. At an age when many musicians are well-established, Zhu was just starting her professional career. Her first major concert in Paris came at age 46.

Unique perspective. Zhu's late start and unconventional background gave her performances a depth and maturity that resonated with audiences:

• Her interpretations were informed by her life experiences
• She brought a fresh perspective to well-known works

Continued growth. Despite initial self-doubt and anxiety, Zhu continued to challenge herself:

• Expanding her repertoire
• Performing in prestigious venues worldwide
• Recording acclaimed albums, including her interpretation of the Goldberg Variations

Inspiration to others. Zhu's story of perseverance in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds has made her an inspiration to many, demonstrating that it's never too late to pursue one's passion and achieve success.

Last updated: January 24, 2025