Go for No! Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There

1. Embrace failure as a stepping stone to success

"I realized that failure was the halfway mark on the road to success, not a destination to be avoided but rather a stepping stone to get what I really wanted in life."

Reframe failure. Failure is not the opposite of success, but a necessary part of the journey towards it. Most people see failure as an endpoint and turn back, missing out on potential success that lies just beyond their comfort zone. By embracing failure, you open yourself up to more opportunities and learning experiences.

Learn from setbacks. Every failure provides valuable insights and lessons that can be applied to future attempts. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of failure, focus on extracting the knowledge gained from each experience. This shift in perspective allows you to grow and improve with each setback, ultimately leading to greater success.

Benefits of embracing failure:

• Increased resilience
• Enhanced problem-solving skills
• Greater innovation and creativity
• Improved adaptability
• Stronger character and perseverance

2. Set "No" goals instead of "Yes" goals

"Rather than setting goals for the number of yes's you are planning to get each week, you set goals for the number of no's you're going to collect."

Shift your focus. Instead of aiming for a specific number of successes, set goals for the number of rejections or "nos" you want to receive. This approach encourages you to take more action and increase your overall attempts, which naturally leads to more opportunities for success.

Maintain momentum. By focusing on "no" goals, you're less likely to slow down or become complacent when you achieve early success. This mindset keeps you pushing forward, even when things are going well, leading to potentially record-breaking performance.

Examples of "No" goals:

• Aim for 20 rejections per week in sales calls
• Set a target of 50 "nos" when pitching your business idea
• Challenge yourself to hear "no" at least 10 times when networking

3. Increase your failure rate to accelerate success

"If you're not succeeding fast enough, you're probably not failing fast enough, and you can't have one without the other."

Quantity leads to quality. The more attempts you make, the higher your chances of success become. By increasing your failure rate, you're essentially increasing your opportunities for success. This approach allows you to learn faster, adapt quicker, and ultimately achieve your goals more efficiently.

Embrace volume. Instead of focusing on perfecting a single attempt, aim to make as many attempts as possible. This strategy not only increases your chances of success but also helps you overcome fear of failure and rejection more quickly.

Ways to increase your failure rate:

• Double the number of sales calls you make daily
• Submit your work to twice as many publications or contests
• Approach more potential clients or partners than you normally would

4. "No" doesn't mean never, it means not yet

"When a potential customer says no, most salespeople hear never… but what I hear is not yet!"

Persistence pays off. Research shows that 60% of customers say no four times before saying yes, yet 92% of salespeople give up after the fourth no. By persisting beyond the fourth rejection, you significantly increase your chances of success and set yourself apart from the competition.

Learn from rejection. Each "no" provides an opportunity to gather valuable information. Instead of accepting rejection at face value, ask why the person said no. This insight can help you refine your approach, address concerns, and ultimately turn a "no" into a "yes" in the future.

Strategies for turning "no" into "not yet":

• Always ask "why" after receiving a rejection
• Keep track of the number of "nos" for each prospect
• Follow up regularly with those who have said no
• Adjust your approach based on feedback received

5. Fail big and fail fast to achieve greater results

"If you're going to fail, fail big!"

Target high-value opportunities. When seeking rejection or failure, focus on opportunities with the greatest potential payoff. This approach ensures that when you do succeed, the rewards are substantial. Failing big also helps you overcome the fear of pursuing larger opportunities.

Accelerate your learning. By failing fast, you quickly gather valuable information and experience that can be applied to future attempts. This rapid iteration allows you to refine your approach more efficiently and increases your chances of success in the long run.

Benefits of failing big and fast:

• Greater potential rewards when successful
• Faster accumulation of experience and knowledge
• Increased confidence in pursuing high-stakes opportunities
• More efficient use of time and resources

6. Celebrate and reward failure, not just success

"You don't get what you beg for, wish for, or pray for, you get what you reward."

Reinforce desired behavior. By celebrating and rewarding failure, you encourage people to take risks and push beyond their comfort zones. This approach creates a culture that values learning, growth, and innovation over playing it safe.

Balance recognition. While it's important to acknowledge successes, don't neglect to recognize those who display a willingness to fail. This balanced approach ensures that people feel valued for their efforts and perseverance, not just their immediate results.

Ways to celebrate failure:

• Create awards for "Most Courageous Attempt" or "Highest Failure Rate"
• Share stories of failures and lessons learned in team meetings
• Implement a "Failure of the Month" recognition program
• Offer bonuses or incentives for reaching "no" goals

7. Develop a high failure quotient to reach your potential

"Perhaps the single most important factor that determines if a person will achieve everything they want in life, or simply settle for crumbs, is their failure quotient."

Build resilience. Your failure quotient represents how many times you're willing to fail before succeeding. By developing a high failure quotient, you increase your ability to persevere through challenges and setbacks, ultimately leading to greater success.

Embrace discomfort. Pushing yourself to fail more often helps you become comfortable with discomfort. This mindset allows you to take on bigger challenges and pursue ambitious goals without being held back by fear of failure.

Strategies to increase your failure quotient:

• Set progressively higher "no" goals
• Deliberately seek out challenging situations
• Reframe failures as learning experiences
• Practice self-compassion when facing setbacks

8. Use rejection as a tool for growth and learning

"The word no doesn't have to be debilitating to us. That's the most important lesson you'll ever learn."

Shift your perspective. Instead of viewing rejection as a personal attack or a sign of inadequacy, see it as valuable feedback and an opportunity for improvement. This mindset allows you to approach rejection with curiosity and openness rather than fear or disappointment.

Extract lessons. Every rejection contains useful information that can help you refine your approach, improve your skills, or identify new opportunities. By actively seeking to learn from each "no," you turn rejections into stepping stones for future success.

Questions to ask after facing rejection:

• What can I learn from this experience?
• How can I improve my approach next time?
• What assumptions did I make that may have been incorrect?
• What new opportunities does this rejection reveal?

9. Overcome fear of failure through repeated exposure

"Numbing yourself to no isn't about ignoring it; it's about experiencing it so often that it eventually loses its power over you."

Desensitize through repetition. The more you expose yourself to failure and rejection, the less power they hold over you. This process of desensitization allows you to act with greater confidence and take more risks, ultimately leading to increased success.

Build confidence through action. Instead of trying to overcome fear through positive thinking or affirmations alone, take concrete action. Each time you face your fear and survive, you build evidence that failure is not as catastrophic as you may have believed.

Exercises to overcome fear of failure:

• Set daily rejection goals and actively seek them out
• Practice asking for things you normally wouldn't
• Engage in activities outside your comfort zone regularly
• Share your failures openly with others to normalize the experience

10. Fail exponentially by involving others in your journey

"Great leaders help everyone in the organization understand the need to fail faster."

Amplify your impact. By encouraging and empowering others to embrace failure, you can achieve exponential growth and success. This approach allows you to leverage the collective efforts and experiences of a team or organization.

Create a failure-positive culture. As a leader or influencer, promote an environment where failure is seen as a necessary part of innovation and growth. This cultural shift can lead to increased creativity, risk-taking, and ultimately, success on a larger scale.

Ways to promote failure in a team or organization:

• Share your own failures and lessons learned openly
• Implement "no" goals and failure metrics for teams
• Create safe spaces for experimentation and risk-taking
• Recognize and reward courageous attempts, regardless of outcome

Last updated: January 23, 2025