The Tell

1. Tells: Fleeting Behaviors Reveal Hidden Truths

Small clues, like those that can give away a person’s poker hand, can also indicate a number of important outcomes—and not the easy stuff, like whether a guy with a scowl and a clenched fist is about to punch you in the face.

Power of Prediction: The book explores how brief observations of behavior, or "tells," can provide surprisingly accurate insights into various aspects of a person's life. These tells can range from subtle nonverbal cues to physical characteristics, offering clues about personality, intelligence, and even future outcomes. The concept is akin to a poker player reading an opponent's tells to discern the strength of their hand.

Beyond Common Sense: The author challenges the notion that psychology is merely common sense, presenting research that reveals counterintuitive and often surprising predictive capabilities. These predictions extend beyond obvious inferences, delving into complex areas such as election outcomes, company profits, and the likelihood of marital success. The book aims to equip readers with the knowledge to hone their observational skills and increase their predictive capacities.

Predictive Humility: While emphasizing the power of prediction, the author also stresses the importance of "predictive humility." It's crucial to remember that predictions are probabilistic, not certainties, and that exceptions to statistical trends always exist. Correlation does not equal causation, and caution should be exercised when making predictions about specific cases based on tells.

2. Early Tells: Predicting Autism and Temperament

We can work with our givens, but we cannot totally escape them. We carry to our graves the essence of the zygote that was first us.

Autism Prediction: Early identification of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is crucial for effective intervention. While formal diagnoses often occur around age four, certain behavioral tells can be observed in infants as young as 18 months. These include:

• Lack of eye contact
• Muted or absent smiling
• Delayed babbling
• Infrequent pointing

Temperament and Inhibition: Jerome Kagan's research demonstrates that temperament, particularly behavioral inhibition, has a strong genetic component. High-reactive infants, who exhibit distress and motor activity in response to novel stimuli, are more likely to become shy and anxious children and adults. Conversely, low-reactive infants tend to be more sociable and fearless.

Biology is Not Destiny: While genes play a significant role in shaping development, they do not determine outcomes. Early intervention and supportive environments can significantly alter the developmental trajectory of children with ASD or those exhibiting behavioral inhibition. Parents and educators have the power to reshape children's brains and help them adapt to the world.

3. Attachment Styles: Shaping Relationships from Infancy

What is learned in the cradle lasts to the grave.

Attachment Theory: John Bowlby's attachment theory posits that infants have a biologically based "attachment behavioral system" that promotes survival by keeping caregivers close. Mary Ainsworth's "strange situation" procedure identified different attachment styles based on infants' reactions to separation and reunion with their mothers. These styles include:

• Secure
• Avoidant
• Ambivalent-resistant
• Disorganized-disoriented

Predictive Power: Attachment styles in infancy have long-term consequences, influencing social competence, emotional regulation, and even the timing of puberty. Securely attached children tend to be more self-reliant, confident, and empathetic, while insecurely attached children are at greater risk for developing behavioral problems and psychopathology. Disorganized attachment is a particularly strong predictor of later dissociation.

Adult Attachment Interview (AAI): The AAI assesses adults' understanding and recollection of their attachment experiences. Secure-autonomous adults can coherently reflect on both positive and negative memories, while insecure adults exhibit dismissing, preoccupied, or unresolved patterns of thought. A parent's AAI classification can predict their child's attachment style, highlighting the intergenerational transmission of attachment patterns.

4. First Impressions: Judging Personality and Intelligence

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

Snap Judgments: We make rapid judgments about others' personalities and intelligence based on fleeting cues, often within milliseconds. These judgments, while not always accurate, can have significant consequences in social and professional settings. Studies show that people can accurately assess extraversion, self-esteem, and religiosity from photographs.

Cues to Intelligence: Certain nonverbal cues are associated with perceived and actual intelligence. These include:

• Eye gaze
• Clear and rapid speech
• Perceived attractiveness

However, it's important to note that these cues can be manipulated, and that people can be fooled into thinking someone is more intelligent than they really are.

The Halo Effect: Our perceptions of others can be influenced by the "halo effect," where positive traits in one area lead us to assume positive traits in other areas. For example, baby-faced individuals are often perceived as more honest and warm, which can lead to leniency in legal settings. Conversely, individuals with Afrocentric facial features may face harsher sentencing due to unconscious biases.

5. The Science of Attraction: Decoding Sexual Orientation

I must be giving off one of those vibes again. That’s what we do . . . we give off vibrations and then we pick up the vibrations from our gaydar . . . so I’ve heard.

Gaydar and Straightdar: The ability to infer someone's sexual orientation based on subtle cues, often referred to as "gaydar," is a real phenomenon. People can accurately distinguish between gay and straight individuals based on brief interactions, facial features, body shape, and vocal qualities. However, the accuracy of these judgments varies, and cultural factors can play a role.

Tells of Sexual Orientation: Certain physical and behavioral traits are associated with sexual orientation. Gay men are often perceived as having more feminine qualities, while lesbians are perceived as having more masculine qualities. These sex-atypical traits can include facial features, body shape, walking style, and vocal intonation.

Biological and Cultural Influences: The ability to detect sexual orientation appears to have both biological and cultural underpinnings. Studies have shown that women are more accurate at inferring male sexual orientation during peak ovulation, suggesting a link to reproductive fitness. However, cultural norms and stereotypes also influence perceptions of sexual orientation.

6. Dating and Mating: Evolutionary Signals and Preferences

Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?

Evolutionary Mating Strategies: Evolutionary theory suggests that men and women have evolved different mating preferences to maximize reproductive success. Women tend to prioritize resources, stability, and commitment in long-term partners, while men prioritize youth, attractiveness, and fertility. These preferences are reflected in the tells we look for in potential mates.

Male Attractiveness: Women are often drawn to men who display signals of good genes, health, and resources. These include:

• Facial symmetry
• Masculine features
• Indicators of socioeconomic status

Women may also be unconsciously drawn to men with a genetic predisposition for heightened immune system functioning.

Female Attractiveness: Men tend to prioritize cues that signal youth, health, and fertility in women. These include:

• Youthful appearance
• Feminine facial features
• Low waist-to-hip ratio (WHR)

Women often manipulate these signals through makeup, clothing, and even cosmetic surgery to enhance their attractiveness.

7. Detecting Deception: Unmasking Lies Through Subtle Cues

Actions lie louder than words.

Poor Lie Detectors: Most people are no better than chance at detecting lies, often relying on inaccurate stereotypes about deceptive behavior. However, certain individuals, known as "truth wizards," possess an uncanny ability to discern truth from falsehood. These individuals are highly motivated to find the truth and attuned to subtle cues.

Thinking and Emotional Clues: Expert lie catchers look for two types of clues:

• Thinking clues: Result from the cognitive effort required to fabricate a story, such as hesitations, discrepancies, and reduced gestures.
• Emotional clues: Result from the emotions that leak through despite attempts at concealment, such as microexpressions, squelched expressions, and asymmetrical facial displays.

Microexpressions and Reliable Muscles: Paul Ekman's research has identified specific facial muscles that are difficult to control voluntarily. Microexpressions, fleeting displays of concealed emotions, and inconsistencies between verbal and nonverbal cues can betray deception.

8. The Power of Enthusiasm: Elevating Teaching and Performance

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Enthusiasm Matters: Studies show that students form lasting impressions of instructors within the first few seconds of class. These impressions, often based on nonverbal cues like enthusiasm and expressiveness, can significantly influence end-of-semester evaluations. Even when course content and grading policies are identical, enthusiastic instructors are perceived as more knowledgeable, accessible, and effective.

The Expressivity Halo: Expressive and animated individuals are often perceived as warmer, more sociable, and more competent. This "expressivity halo" can have a powerful impact on how others evaluate their performance, even in fields unrelated to teaching.

The Importance of Authenticity: While enthusiasm can be a valuable asset, it's important to be genuine. Forced or insincere displays of enthusiasm can backfire, leading to negative perceptions. The key is to find ways to connect with the material and communicate your passion in an authentic and engaging way.

9. CEO Tells: Faces, Power, and Company Profits

One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you’re perceived to be by others.

Facial Power and Profits: Research suggests that a CEO's facial appearance can predict their company's financial performance. CEOs with faces perceived as powerful—competent, dominant, and mature—are more likely to lead profitable companies. This finding holds true even when controlling for attractiveness and other factors.

Amygdala Activation: When people view the faces of CEOs who run profitable companies, the amygdala on the left side of their brains is more active. This suggests that these faces "stand out" and signal a greater degree of power and dominance.

Facial Width-to-Height Ratio (WHR): CEOs with wider faces, as measured by their WHR, tend to run better-performing companies, but only if their leadership team is deferential and concedes to their authority. This suggests that facial structure may influence leadership style and effectiveness.

10. Political Punditry: Predicting Elections with Childlike Simplicity

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

Voter Ignorance: Despite access to vast amounts of information, voters are often surprisingly uninformed about political issues and candidates' positions. This lack of knowledge can lead them to rely on heuristics, or mental shortcuts, when making voting decisions.

Facial Competence and Election Outcomes: Studies have shown that people can accurately predict election outcomes based solely on candidates' facial appearance, particularly their perceived competence. Even children as young as five years old can make surprisingly accurate predictions.

The Perfect Candidate: The "ideal" candidate has a face that signals leadership ability, intelligence, and emotional stability. A deeper voice and greater height are also associated with electoral success. However, it's important to remember that these are merely correlations, and that other factors, such as policy positions and campaign strategies, also play a significant role.

Last updated: February 4, 2025