The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook

1. Trust is personal, paradoxical, and positively correlated with risk

"There is no trust without risk."

Trust is fundamentally personal. It's about relationships between individuals, not just organizations. Trust often works in counterintuitive ways – for example, admitting what you don't know can increase your credibility. This paradoxical nature of trust means that conventional wisdom about building trust may often be misguided.

Risk and trust are inextricably linked. Taking calculated risks is essential to building trust. This might involve:

• Being vulnerable by admitting mistakes
• Sharing difficult truths
• Offering help without guarantee of return

The willingness to take these risks demonstrates your commitment to the relationship and your confidence in your own integrity. Counterintuitively, the act of taking risks itself creates trust, which in turn becomes a powerful risk mitigation strategy in the long run.

2. The Trust Equation: Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy / Self-Orientation

"The trust equation divides trustworthiness into four components: credibility, reliability, intimacy, and self-orientation."

The Trust Equation provides a framework for understanding and improving trustworthiness. Here's a breakdown of its components:

• Credibility: Your expertise and honesty
• Reliability: Your consistency and dependability
• Intimacy: Your ability to create safe, open communication
• Self-Orientation: Your focus on yourself vs. others (as the denominator)

To increase trustworthiness:

• Boost Credibility: Develop deep expertise, stay current, offer honest opinions
• Improve Reliability: Make and keep small promises, communicate consistently
• Enhance Intimacy: Listen deeply, share appropriately, acknowledge emotions
• Lower Self-Orientation: Focus on others' needs, ask questions, give credit freely

The most impactful areas for improvement are often increasing intimacy and lowering self-orientation, as these are typically the most underdeveloped in professional settings.

3. Master the five trust skills: Listen, Partner, Improvise, Risk, Know Yourself

"Listening is the skill that drives trust and influence."

Listening goes beyond hearing words. It requires empathy and the ability to understand the context, emotions, and unspoken messages. Effective listening means:

• Giving full attention, free from distractions
• Acknowledging and validating others' perspectives
• Asking thoughtful questions to deepen understanding

The other four skills complement listening:

• Partner: Collaborate effectively, balancing leading and following
• Improvise: Adapt quickly to unexpected situations
• Risk: Take calculated chances to deepen relationships
• Know Yourself: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots

Developing these skills requires practice and self-reflection. They work together to create a foundation of trust in all your professional relationships.

4. Trust-based marketing and sales focus on the client's needs, not yours

"The goal of traditional selling is to convince the buyer to buy from you—the goal of trust-based selling is to help the buyer do what is right for him."

Shift your perspective from selling to helping. This means:

• Sharing ideas and expertise freely, even before securing business
• Being willing to recommend competitors if they're a better fit
• Focusing on long-term relationships rather than short-term transactions

Practical strategies include:

• Giving away "free samples" of your expertise through content or consultations
• Collaborating with peers and even competitors on projects that benefit clients
• Being transparent about your business model and pricing structure

This approach builds trust by demonstrating your commitment to the client's best interests. While it may seem counterintuitive, it often leads to stronger, more profitable relationships in the long run.

5. Handling objections is about having conversations, not winning arguments

"There is no such thing as a difficult partner—there is only a relationship that is not working well."

Reframe objections as opportunities for deeper understanding and collaboration. Instead of trying to "overcome" objections, approach them as invitations to explore concerns and find mutually beneficial solutions.

Key strategies:

• Listen deeply to understand the root of the objection
• Acknowledge and validate the other person's perspective
• Ask open-ended questions to explore underlying issues
• Offer solutions collaboratively rather than defensively

By treating objections as part of an ongoing conversation, you build trust and strengthen relationships. This approach often leads to better outcomes for both parties, as it uncovers hidden concerns and creates space for creative problem-solving.

6. Accelerate trust by demonstrating trustworthiness from the first interaction

"Trust creation begins the instant you start interacting with someone."

First impressions matter immensely in trust-building. From the very first interaction, focus on demonstrating your trustworthiness through:

• Preparation: Show you've done your homework
• Authenticity: Be genuine and transparent
• Curiosity: Ask thoughtful questions and truly listen
• Reliability: Make and keep small promises immediately

Specific tactics to build trust quickly:

• Share a relevant point of view to demonstrate expertise
• Acknowledge potential conflicts or awkward situations openly
• Use the other person's language and terminology
• Express appropriate levels of emotion and empathy

Remember, while trust can deepen over time, the foundation is often set in the first few moments of an interaction. Make those moments count by being intentional about how you present yourself and engage with others.

7. Create a culture of trust through virtues, values, and leading by example

"If your organization has never fired someone for a values violation, then you have either been astoundingly successful in your hiring and development efforts, or you are not a strongly values-driven organization."

Building a trust-based culture requires a focus on both personal virtues and organizational values. This means:

• Clearly defining and communicating trust-based values
• Recognizing and rewarding trustworthy behavior
• Addressing violations of trust promptly and consistently

Key elements of trust-based organizational culture:

• Leaders who model trustworthy behavior
• Training programs that emphasize trust skills
• Hiring and promotion practices that prioritize trustworthiness
• Systems and processes that support transparency and collaboration

Creating a culture of trust is an ongoing process that requires commitment at all levels of the organization. It involves not just stating values, but living them consistently, even when it's challenging or costly in the short term. The long-term benefits – increased innovation, employee engagement, and customer loyalty – make this investment worthwhile.

Last updated: April 19, 2025