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Way of Rest

Way of Rest

by Jeff Foster 2016 352 pages
4.46
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Your Imperfections and Vulnerability

Your flaws are beautiful. Your doubts are sacred.

Perfection is unattainable. Instead of striving for an impossible ideal, embrace your imperfections as an integral part of your humanity. Your flaws, doubts, and vulnerabilities are not weaknesses to be hidden or overcome, but rather unique aspects of your being that make you relatable and authentic.

Vulnerability is strength. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you open the door to deeper connections with others and a more genuine relationship with yourself. Embracing your imperfections can lead to greater self-acceptance and compassion, both for yourself and others. This acceptance can be liberating, freeing you from the constant pressure to be something you're not and allowing you to live more authentically.

2. Find Peace in Not Knowing and Uncertainty

Do not fear doubt. Do not see it as a sign of weakness, or spiritual failure.

Embrace uncertainty. Instead of striving for constant certainty and control, learn to find peace in the unknown. Uncertainty is a natural part of life, and accepting it can lead to greater flexibility, creativity, and personal growth.

Cultivate curiosity. Approach life's uncertainties with an open mind and a spirit of exploration. By embracing doubt and questioning, you can:

  • Develop a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you
  • Remain open to new possibilities and perspectives
  • Cultivate humility and empathy
  • Find comfort in the process of discovery rather than fixating on definitive answers

3. Transform Pain and Suffering into Growth

Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings, your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes, and they aren't asking to be "healed." They are asking to be held.

Pain as a teacher. Instead of viewing pain and suffering as enemies to be eliminated, recognize them as potential catalysts for growth and self-discovery. By embracing and exploring your pain, you can:

  • Gain valuable insights about yourself and your needs
  • Develop greater resilience and emotional strength
  • Cultivate compassion for yourself and others who are suffering

Transformative power of acceptance. By accepting and holding space for your pain rather than resisting it, you can transform your relationship with suffering. This acceptance doesn't mean resignation, but rather a willingness to be present with your experiences and learn from them.

4. Cultivate Presence and Mindfulness in Daily Life

Slow down, friend. Breathe. In, out. In, out. Sink into the vastness of Presence. Life is only a moment.

Practice mindfulness. Cultivate a regular practice of being present in the moment, whether through meditation, mindful breathing, or simply paying attention to your surroundings. By doing so, you can:

  • Reduce stress and anxiety
  • Increase focus and clarity
  • Enhance your overall well-being and enjoyment of life

Find beauty in the ordinary. Train yourself to appreciate the small, everyday moments that are often overlooked. This can include:

  • The sensation of your breath
  • The warmth of sunlight on your skin
  • The taste of your morning coffee
  • The sound of birds chirping

By cultivating presence, you can transform even the most mundane experiences into opportunities for joy and connection.

5. Nurture Authentic Connections and Relationships

Love is not a feeling. If love were a feeling, it would come and go, like in a great drama.

Love as a choice and practice. Rather than viewing love as a fleeting emotion, understand it as a conscious choice and ongoing practice. This perspective can help you:

  • Cultivate more stable and fulfilling relationships
  • Navigate challenges with greater patience and understanding
  • Develop a deeper sense of connection with others and yourself

Authenticity in relationships. Foster connections based on genuine self-expression and acceptance. This involves:

  • Being honest about your thoughts, feelings, and needs
  • Accepting others as they are, without trying to change them
  • Creating space for vulnerability and open communication

By nurturing authentic connections, you can experience deeper, more meaningful relationships and a greater sense of belonging.

6. Discover the Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

You did your best. You did all you could do. You had no choice.

Cultivate self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. This involves:

  • Acknowledging your efforts and intentions, even when the outcome isn't perfect
  • Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and perceived shortcomings
  • Recognizing your inherent worth, regardless of external achievements or failures

Embrace your whole self. Accept all aspects of yourself, including the parts you may have previously rejected or tried to change. This self-acceptance can lead to:

  • Greater emotional resilience
  • Improved self-esteem and confidence
  • More authentic relationships with others
  • A deeper sense of inner peace and contentment

7. Embrace Life's Impermanence and Constant Change

Everything you push away in yourself pushes back against you: pushing for your love, like a baby in the womb, pushing, pushing, ready to be born, ready to come into the light of consciousness, wanting to be seen.

Accept impermanence. Recognize that change is a fundamental aspect of life. By embracing this truth, you can:

  • Reduce suffering caused by attachment to temporary conditions
  • Cultivate greater flexibility and adaptability
  • Appreciate the preciousness of each moment

Growth through change. View life's transitions and changes as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. This perspective can help you:

  • Navigate challenges with greater resilience
  • Remain open to new experiences and opportunities
  • Find meaning and purpose in life's ever-changing landscape

8. Cultivate Gratitude and Appreciation for the Present Moment

There is always something to be grateful for. Even when things go horribly wrong, even when your dreams die and your plans crumble, even when loved ones leave and things you never thought you'd lose are lost, you can always contact a place of humility, surrender, even awe.

Practice gratitude daily. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small. This can include:

  • Your health and physical abilities
  • Supportive relationships
  • Basic necessities like food and shelter
  • Moments of beauty or joy in your day

Find gratitude in challenges. Train yourself to find opportunities for growth and learning even in difficult situations. By cultivating this perspective, you can:

  • Develop greater resilience in the face of adversity
  • Find meaning and purpose in challenging experiences
  • Maintain a more positive outlook on life

9. Embrace Your Authentic Self Beyond Labels and Definitions

Don't define yourself, friend. Definitions are dead, of the past—and you are so alive!

Reject limiting labels. Free yourself from the constraints of rigid self-definitions and societal expectations. This can help you:

  • Explore new aspects of your personality and potential
  • Adapt more easily to changing circumstances
  • Experience greater personal growth and self-discovery

Embrace fluidity and change. Recognize that your identity is not fixed, but constantly evolving. By embracing this fluidity, you can:

  • Remain open to new experiences and perspectives
  • Cultivate greater self-acceptance and compassion
  • Live more authentically and spontaneously

10. Find Strength in Vulnerability and Compassion

To all the heartbroken ones, the misunderstood ones. To all you misfits, outcasts, freaks, and worldly failures. To the ones they jeer at, poke, ridicule, and crucify. To all you lonely disillusioned poets and mad visionaries. To those whose worlds are falling apart. To those who have sought the Light for so long yet still feel far away. To those whose unshakable absolutes have dissolved into the relative. To those whose hearts are burning up. To those whose dreams have crumbled to the ground. To those who have given everything for truth. To those who have taken the path of crucifixion over the path of worldly comfort. To all of you out there in the dark. I salute you.

Embrace your struggles. Recognize that your challenges and vulnerabilities are not weaknesses, but sources of strength and wisdom. By accepting and integrating these aspects of yourself, you can:

  • Develop greater emotional resilience
  • Connect more deeply with others who are struggling
  • Find meaning and purpose in your experiences

Cultivate compassion. Extend kindness and understanding to yourself and others, especially in times of difficulty. This practice can lead to:

  • Stronger, more authentic relationships
  • A greater sense of interconnectedness with all beings
  • Increased emotional well-being and inner peace

By embracing vulnerability and cultivating compassion, you can transform your struggles into sources of strength and connection.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.46 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Way of Rest by Jeff Foster receives overwhelmingly positive reviews, with readers praising its inspirational and calming nature. Many find it a source of wisdom, helping them embrace life's challenges and find inner peace. The book's format of short essays and poems is appreciated, allowing readers to digest its content gradually. While some critics find the writing style overly sentimental, most readers describe it as transformative, offering a fresh perspective on spirituality and self-acceptance. The book is often recommended as a valuable resource for personal growth and mindfulness.

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About the Author

Jeff Foster is an astrophysics graduate from Cambridge University who experienced severe depression and became obsessed with spiritual enlightenment. His journey led him to the realization of Oneness, ending his spiritual search. Foster now writes and speaks about nonduality, offering a direct and uncompromising approach to spiritual awakening. He conducts meetings and retreats in the UK and Europe, addressing the frustrations of spiritual seeking and pointing to the inherent clarity in all experiences. Foster's teachings emphasize the immediacy of awakening, challenging the notion of future enlightenment and revealing the presence of awareness in everyday life.

Other books by Jeff Foster

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