The Wife Drought

1. Working women face a significant and under-reported "Wife Drought."

Working women are in an advanced, sustained, and chronically under-reported state of wife drought, and there is no sign of rain.

A common joke. The idea of needing a "wife" – a partner who handles domestic responsibilities – is a common joke among women juggling work and family. However, the author argues this isn't just a joke; it reflects a real disparity. Having a spouse dedicated to managing the home is a potent asset for career advancement.

An unequal advantage. This advantage is overwhelmingly enjoyed by men. While women have surged into the workforce, the support structures at home have not shifted commensurately. This leaves working women in a state of "wife drought," lacking the domestic support their male counterparts often have.

Beyond individual choice. The "wife drought" isn't merely about individual relationship choices. It's a systemic issue rooted in societal expectations and structures that make it far easier for men to have a supportive domestic partner than for women.

2. Working fathers are vastly more likely to have a partner who manages the home than working mothers.

Working fathers, in other words, are five times as likely to have a ‘wife’ as working mothers.

The core statistic. Analysis of Australian Census data reveals a stark reality: 76% of full-time working dads have a partner who works part-time or not at all (a "wife"). In contrast, only 15% of full-time working mothers have a partner who works part-time or not at all.

A significant disparity. This means working fathers are five times more likely to have a partner primarily responsible for domestic life. This unequal access to domestic support provides men with a distinct advantage in the workplace, allowing them to focus more fully on their careers.

An anti-competitive edge. The author likens this to an industrial system where most male employees are given cars while women must take the bus. It's an economic privilege that significantly impacts career progression, yet is rarely acknowledged in discussions about workplace inequality.

3. The work-family debate should focus on enabling men to leave work, not just women to enter it.

What I can’t believe is this: why, after all these decades of campaign, reform, research and thought about how we can best get women into the workplace, are we so slow to pick up that the most important next step is how to get men out of it?

A different perspective. For decades, the focus has been on breaking down barriers for women in the workplace (glass ceilings, discrimination, etc.). While important, this overlooks a crucial part of the equation: the barriers that prevent men from leaving work or reducing hours to be more involved at home.

Men's ease of egress. If equality is the goal, we need to consider men's "ease of egress" from the workplace. Surveys show many men, especially fathers, desire more flexible hours or time off, but they are far less likely to ask for it than women.

Missing out at home. By being structurally encouraged to remain full-time workers regardless of family changes, men miss out on significant time and experiences at home. This system doesn't just disadvantage women at work; it disadvantages men and children at home.

4. Historical laws explicitly prevented married women from working, reinforcing traditional roles.

Every female officer shall be deemed to have retired from the Commonwealth service upon her marriage.

The "marriage bar." Barely fifty years ago, laws like Section 49 of the Commonwealth Public Service Act mandated that women resign from their jobs upon marriage. This law, in place from Federation until 1966, explicitly reinforced the idea that a woman's place was in the home once she had a husband to provide for her.

Protecting male jobs. The rationale included preventing married women from taking jobs needed by men (the primary providers) or single women. Debates highlighted the perceived "conflict of duty" between household and professional responsibilities for married women.

A national resource. These laws treated wives as a specific kind of national resource, essential for supporting male workers and ensuring stable homes. While the laws are gone, their spirit lingers in the assumption that a man's marriage enhances his work capacity, while a woman's detracts from hers.

5. Marriage and children have opposite economic effects on men and women's careers.

She will earn $600,000 less than a childless woman, and a full $1.2 million less than a father.

The marriage premium. For men, marriage often brings a "marriage premium," leading to higher earnings compared to single men. This is partly due to selection (successful men are more likely to marry) and specialization (a supportive spouse allows focus on career).

The parenthood penalty. For women, parenthood often results in a significant economic penalty. A childless woman's lifetime earnings are comparable to a childless man's, but a mother can expect to earn significantly less than both childless women and fathers.

• Childless woman vs. Childless man: Similar earnings
• Mother vs. Childless woman: $600,000 less
• Mother vs. Father: $1.2 million less

Unequal assumptions. Research shows that having children makes men appear more committed and suitable for promotion in the workplace, while having children makes women appear less so. This disparity in assumptions directly translates into unequal economic outcomes.

6. Women consistently do significantly more unpaid domestic work than men, regardless of paid work hours.

Even when mothers work full-time, they still do more than twice as much household work as their full-time working husbands: forty-one hours a week compared to twenty.

Global pattern. Across OECD countries, women average twice as much unpaid domestic work (housework, childcare) as men. In Australia, women average over 5 hours a day, men less than 3.

Static male contribution. Australian Time Use Survey data shows men's housework hours remain relatively static (around 15-20 hours/week) whether they work full-time, part-time, or not at all.

Elastic female contribution. Women's housework hours are highly elastic, decreasing when they work more paid hours but still remaining higher than men's. The birth of a child significantly increases a woman's housework, but has negligible impact on a man's.

• Stay-at-home mum: ~42 hours housework/week
• Full-time working mum: ~25 hours housework/week
• Average man (any work status): ~15-20 hours housework/week

7. Domestic work is largely invisible and undervalued in economic and legal systems.

Housework doesn’t count towards the best-known measure of national productivity, the gross domestic product, even though women spend an average thirty-three hours a week doing it.

Not in the GDP. The significant amount of unpaid domestic work performed, primarily by women, is not included in measures of national productivity like GDP. This renders it economically invisible.

Legal valuation challenges. Valuing domestic work is complex in legal contexts like divorce or injury compensation.

• Replacement model: Calculates cost to hire someone (difficult to standardize quality/tasks).
• Opportunity cost model: Values domestic time based on potential market earnings (doesn't reflect actual value or market constraints).

Tort law's view. In injury cases, loss of ability to do housework is often treated as a "non-economic loss," grouped with recreational activities rather than lost income. Historically, compensation for loss of a wife's services ("loss of servitium") was paid to the husband.

Divorce court's approach. While divorce courts now recognize homemaker contributions, they often value it based on how it enabled the other partner's (usually the husband's) financial gain, rather than the homemaker's skill or lost opportunity.

8. Perceptions of competence in domestic tasks are heavily gendered, creating "Dad moments" and "Mum moments."

Humour really is an incredibly useful diagnostic social tool.

"Dad moments." Male incompetence in domestic tasks (like fumbling in the kitchen) is often celebrated or viewed with fond amusement ("Dad moments"). This humor stems from the underlying assumption that domestic work is primarily a female domain, making men in this role a "fish out of water."

"Mum moments." Female competence in domestic tasks, however, is often expected and goes unnoticed, or manifests as "Mum moments" of stressed over-competence and martyrdom (juggling multiple tasks, preparing for absence).

Reinforcing stereotypes. The willingness of women to share stories of male domestic incompetence (like in the "Mere Male" column) can subtly reinforce their own status as the competent domestic manager, even if it means doing more work themselves. This can be a way to maintain a feminine identity, especially for women in non-traditional roles.

9. Men face social and professional barriers when taking on primary caregiving roles.

Children alone, in other words, are not a sufficient driver to get men out of the workplace; you need something else, be it redundancy or misadventure, to actually yank them out the door.

Need a "push." Unlike women, who often reduce work hours or take leave due to the expected demands of motherhood, men typically need an external "push" (redundancy, illness, partner's career change) to become primary caregivers.

Workplace resistance. Men who request flexible work or parental leave often face negative attitudes, comments, or even adverse treatment regarding pay or promotion. This fear of professional repercussions discourages men from seeking flexibility.

Social awkwardness. Stay-at-home fathers can experience social isolation or awkwardness in female-dominated parenting spaces (playgroups, school drop-offs). They may be viewed with suspicion ("Can't get a job?") or overly praised ("Isn't he amazing?"), rather than treated as normal.

Pathology. Studies show even therapists may view a man choosing to stay home with children as potentially indicative of underlying issues, unlike a woman making the same choice.

10. The "Wife Drought" creates a significant barrier for women in demanding careers like politics.

Put that another way: there is a one-child penalty for women in federal politics.

The political spouse. Federal politics, requiring significant time away from home, highlights the need for a supportive domestic partner. Historically, this role has been filled by political "wives" who manage family life, allowing men to focus on their careers.

Unequal parenthood rates. Male MPs and senators have significantly more children on average than female MPs and senators. Women in federal politics are twice as likely to be childless as their male colleagues.

Different expectations. Female politicians who have children face constant scrutiny and questions about how they "manage," and are often accused of neglecting their families. Male politicians with children rarely face such questioning; their parenthood is seen as enhancing their image.

The "having it all" myth. The pressure on women in politics to "have it all" (career and family) often means "doing it all." Without the domestic support commonly available to their male counterparts, combining a demanding political career with young children is exponentially harder for women.

11. "Role reversal" families (female breadwinner, male homemaker) reveal deep-seated societal assumptions.

How can you test whether something’s an assumption? Try this: switch things around, and check how bananas everybody goes.

Challenging the norm. Families where the woman is the primary breadwinner and the man is the primary caregiver are often labelled "role reversal," highlighting how far they deviate from the perceived norm. This deviation triggers questions and reveals underlying assumptions.

Unequal housework division persists. Even when women earn more, they often still do a significant amount of housework. Australian data shows women earning over 66.6% of household income actually increase their housework hours, potentially to compensate for challenging gender norms.

Managing masculine identity. In these families, men may avoid certain domestic tasks perceived as "women's work" (like ironing) to maintain a sense of masculine identity. Women may also downplay their breadwinner status or continue managing domestic tasks to protect their partner's pride or their own sense of femininity.

Not a clean swap. "Role reversal" is rarely a simple inversion. It involves complex negotiations, unspoken compromises, and sometimes strange behaviors as couples navigate societal expectations and their own internalised norms.

12. Changing gender roles requires challenging ingrained expectations about masculinity and femininity.

In some senses, men are where women were thirty years ago.

A slow shift for men. While women's roles have changed dramatically over the past half-century (entering the workforce, pursuing higher education), expectations for men have shifted much more slowly. Men are now expected to be more involved fathers but still maintain the traditional breadwinner role.

The digital revolution's potential. Just as the Industrial Revolution removed men from the home and standardized work hours, the digital revolution has the potential to make work more flexible and less tied to physical location or rigid hours. This could enable men to be more present at home.

Challenging core identities. True equality requires challenging deep-seated assumptions about what makes a man or a woman. It means valuing caregiving regardless of who performs it and allowing men the same freedom as women to prioritize family over work at different life stages.

Beyond individual action. While individual choices and negotiations within families are important, systemic change is needed. This includes workplace flexibility for men, valuing domestic work, and shifting cultural narratives that trap men and women in outdated roles.

Last updated: May 29, 2025