This Is Water

1. The importance of awareness: Recognizing the "water" we swim in

The most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.

Invisible realities. Our surroundings and societal norms often go unnoticed, much like water to fish. These ubiquitous elements shape our experiences and perceptions without our conscious awareness. Recognizing these hidden influences is crucial for personal growth and understanding.

Critical thinking. A liberal arts education aims to develop this awareness, teaching us not just how to think, but what to think about. This skill allows us to question our assumptions, challenge societal norms, and gain a deeper understanding of the world around us.

Key aspects of awareness:

• Recognizing societal norms and expectations
• Identifying personal biases and assumptions
• Understanding the impact of cultural context on our perceptions

2. Challenging our default self-centered perspective

Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe, the realest, most vivid and important person in existence.

Natural egocentrism. Humans are hardwired to perceive the world from a self-centered perspective. This default setting places our own needs, desires, and experiences at the forefront of our consciousness, often at the expense of considering others.

Conscious effort required. Overcoming this innate self-centeredness requires deliberate effort and awareness. By recognizing our tendency towards egocentrism, we can actively work to broaden our perspective and consider the experiences and viewpoints of others.

Strategies to challenge self-centeredness:

• Practice empathy and perspective-taking
• Engage in active listening
• Reflect on personal biases and assumptions
• Seek out diverse experiences and viewpoints

3. The power of choice in how we think and perceive

"Learning how to think" really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think.

Cognitive control. The ability to choose how we interpret and respond to our experiences is a fundamental aspect of human consciousness. This power of choice allows us to shape our perceptions, attitudes, and ultimately, our lives.

Mindful decision-making. By consciously selecting what we focus on and how we construct meaning from our experiences, we can significantly impact our mental well-being and interactions with others. This skill is particularly crucial in navigating the challenges and frustrations of everyday life.

Areas where we can exercise cognitive choice:

• Interpretation of events and experiences
• Emotional responses to situations
• Focus of attention in daily life
• Attitudes towards others and ourselves

4. Overcoming the dangers of over-intellectualization

Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education, at least in my own case, is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract thinking instead of simply paying attention to what's going on in front of me.

Balancing intellect and presence. While intellectual analysis is valuable, it can sometimes hinder our ability to fully engage with the present moment. Over-reliance on abstract thinking can disconnect us from the immediate reality of our experiences and relationships.

Mindful awareness. Cultivating the ability to be present and attentive to our surroundings and internal states is crucial for personal growth and well-being. This skill complements intellectual understanding, allowing for a more holistic approach to life.

Strategies to overcome over-intellectualization:

• Practice mindfulness and meditation
• Engage in physical activities that ground you in the present
• Deliberately focus on sensory experiences
• Balance analytical thinking with emotional intelligence

5. Navigating the mundane challenges of adult life

There happen to be whole large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration.

Everyday struggles. Adult life is often filled with mundane tasks, frustrating routines, and seemingly trivial challenges. These aspects of daily existence can be draining and demoralizing if not approached with the right mindset.

Finding meaning in the mundane. The ability to find purpose and significance in everyday experiences is a crucial skill for maintaining mental well-being and personal growth. This involves reframing our perspective on routine tasks and choosing to see them as opportunities for mindfulness and growth.

Common mundane challenges:

• Traffic and commuting
• Grocery shopping and errands
• Workplace frustrations
• Household chores and maintenance

Strategies for navigating mundane challenges:

• Practice gratitude for small conveniences
• Use routine tasks as opportunities for mindfulness
• Find ways to inject creativity or learning into daily activities
• Cultivate a sense of purpose in seemingly trivial tasks

6. Cultivating empathy and alternative interpretations

You can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line – maybe she's not usually like this; maybe she's been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband, who's dying of bone cancer.

Expanding perspective. Developing the ability to consider alternative interpretations of situations and people's behaviors can greatly enhance our empathy and understanding. This skill allows us to move beyond our initial judgments and assumptions.

Compassionate imagination. By actively imagining potential circumstances or motivations behind others' actions, we can cultivate a more compassionate and understanding approach to interpersonal interactions. This practice can reduce conflict and increase our sense of connection with others.

Benefits of cultivating empathy:

• Reduced judgment and conflict
• Improved relationships and communication
• Increased emotional intelligence
• Greater sense of social connection

Techniques for developing empathy:

• Practice perspective-taking exercises
• Engage in active listening
• Read diverse literature and personal stories
• Volunteer or engage with different communities

7. The inevitability of worship and choosing what to value

Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.

Universal reverence. The concept of worship extends beyond religious contexts to encompass the fundamental values and priorities that guide our lives. Everyone, regardless of belief system, places supreme importance on certain ideals or pursuits.

Conscious value selection. Recognizing that we inevitably worship something allows us to make conscious choices about what we truly value. This awareness empowers us to align our actions and priorities with meaningful and fulfilling pursuits, rather than defaulting to societal expectations or fleeting desires.

Common objects of worship in modern society:

• Money and material success
• Physical appearance and youth
• Intellectual prowess and academic achievements
• Social status and popularity
• Career and professional accomplishments

Criteria for choosing what to worship:

• Long-term fulfillment and meaning
• Alignment with personal values and ethics
• Contribution to personal growth and well-being
• Positive impact on others and society

8. Breaking free from unconscious default settings

The insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful; it is that they are unconscious. They are default settings.

Automatic patterns. Our minds naturally fall into default patterns of thinking and behaving, often shaped by societal norms, personal experiences, and biological predispositions. These unconscious settings can significantly influence our choices and perceptions without our awareness.

Conscious living. Breaking free from these default settings requires active effort and ongoing awareness. By regularly examining our thoughts, reactions, and values, we can make more intentional choices about how we live and what we prioritize.

Signs of operating on default settings:

• Repetitive negative thought patterns
• Automatic emotional reactions
• Unexamined beliefs and prejudices
• Habitual behaviors that don't serve our goals

Steps to break free from default settings:

• Practice regular self-reflection and introspection
• Seek out diverse perspectives and experiences
• Challenge assumptions and question societal norms
• Develop mindfulness and present-moment awareness
• Continuously reassess personal values and priorities

Last updated: January 22, 2025