Two O'Clock on a Tuesday at Trevi Fountain

1. Travel Ignites a Desire for a Different Life

To become so jaded that even the sight of a sunrise from 35,000 feet in the air wouldn’t compel a double take.

Initial travel sparks. The author's early trips to Europe, particularly the Tomorrowland festival in Belgium and visits to Amsterdam and Paris, ignited a profound sense of awe and a realization that a conventional life with limited vacation wouldn't suffice. Encounters like the Australian digital nomad in Amsterdam planted seeds of possibility for working remotely and living differently. These experiences highlighted the contrast between a mundane routine and a life filled with adventure and discovery.

A yearning for more. Witnessing the vibrant energy of Tomorrowland and the beauty of cities like Paris led to a powerful desire for more travel and a life lived on her own terms. The author felt a deep connection to the world and realized that ten days of vacation a year wouldn't be enough to satisfy her growing wanderlust. This early exposure to different ways of living and experiencing the world became the driving force behind her future decisions.

Questioning the status quo. These formative trips prompted the author to question the conventional path of working fifty hours a week in a cubicle. The feeling of being alive and inspired while traveling contrasted sharply with the monotony of her daily job. This early dissatisfaction, fueled by the possibilities glimpsed abroad, set the stage for a fundamental shift in her life's direction, promising herself she would never lose her sense of awe.

2. Questioning the Traditional Path and Seeking Balance

I wanted a grand life, but I also wanted to stay grounded.

Seeking a middle ground. The author felt caught between the extremes of a conventional nine-to-five job and the perceived irresponsibility of being a rootless vagabond. She craved both adventure and stability, a balance that seemed missing from the examples she saw around her, including traditional travel figures like Rick Steves or social media portrayals of carefree nomads. This internal conflict highlighted the challenge of forging a unique path that honored both desires.

Parental influence and confusion. Growing up with parents who loved their jobs as writers and professors, and who managed to balance demanding careers with family life, set a high and confusing standard. The author struggled to find a traditional job that offered the same sense of passion and flexibility, leading to dissatisfaction and frequent job changes. This contrast made the idea of a conventional career feel inherently unfulfilling compared to the examples she had.

The elusive "it". The author searched for her "it," the perfect job or calling, trying various roles from teaching to marketing, but none felt right because they involved working for someone else and lacked passion. This period of searching and dissatisfaction reinforced her belief that a traditional career path might not be for her. The desire for autonomy and a job she genuinely loved became increasingly important.

3. Unexpected Setbacks Can Be Catalysts for Change

Real life had smacked me in the face. Or, in this case, the ankle.

Accident as a turning point. A severe rock-climbing accident, resulting in a shattered ankle and leg, abruptly halted the author's routine and forced her to slow down. Confined to her couch, she gained a new perspective, shedding the pressures of consumerism and appreciating simpler things. This physical setback, while painful and costly, provided the necessary pause to re-evaluate her life's direction and priorities.

Job loss reinforces dissatisfaction. Being fired from a remote marketing job, ironically over an Oxford comma, solidified the author's feeling that traditional employment wasn't her path. While initially shocking, the lack of devastation revealed her underlying unhappiness with the job. This event, coupled with the financial strain of her medical bills, pushed her to seriously consider alternative ways of making a living.

Loss of a loved one provides clarity. The passing of Michael's mother from cancer, shortly before their planned move abroad, served as a stark reminder of life's fragility and the importance of pursuing dreams now rather than waiting. Her mother-in-law's regret about delaying retirement deeply impacted the author. This loss, though heartbreaking, provided a sense of urgency and permission to embrace their planned adventure, viewing it as a tribute to living fully.

4. Just Start, Even Without a Clear Plan

Traveling and witnessing the beauty of the world in all its imperfect, transitory glory opened my eyes to the fact that you just need to start.

Inspired by the unfinished. The author found inspiration in Antoni Gaudí's Sagrada Familia, a magnificent yet unfinished masterpiece. This symbolized that dreams and goals don't need to be fully formed or perfect to be pursued and appreciated. It reinforced the idea that starting, even without a complete blueprint, is crucial, and that the process itself holds value.

Taking the first step. Despite not knowing exactly how to make travel her life, the author decided to just start. This involved small actions like creating a travel countdown and later, starting a blog about her experiences, initially without any intention of making money. These initial steps, driven by passion rather than a clear business model, were crucial in building momentum and discovering possibilities along the way.

Overcoming the need for a guide. The author initially sought a "Roger Bannister," a model or guide for how to achieve her unconventional dream of combining stability with adventure abroad. However, she realized that she didn't need someone else's blueprint. She just needed a plan and courage, understanding that she could figure things out as she went. This shift from seeking external validation to trusting her own process was empowering.

5. Finding Your Passion and Building a New Career

I didn’t start the blog to make money. I simply wanted an outlet to talk about my broken ankle, my obsessions...

Blogging as an outlet. Confined after her accident, the author started a blog, "Helene in Between," as a way to process her experiences and connect with others. This creative outlet, initially a hobby, became a source of solace and community. It allowed her to write about things she genuinely cared about, rediscovering her love for writing in a new, public format.

Performance and connection. The blog provided a sense of performance and immediate feedback, fulfilling a desire she'd felt since childhood acting. Connecting with readers, sharing vulnerable topics like her "baby cold" post, and finding people who related to her struggles brought unexpected fulfillment. This interaction and sense of community validated her voice and the value of sharing her story.

Unexpected income and validation. The turning point came after being fired, when a live workshop based on her blog content generated significant income. This demonstrated the potential for her passion project to become a viable business. Later, receiving a paid collaboration offer from a company, specifically mentioning her Instagram presence, validated her efforts and showed that getting paid to travel was possible, even without being a traditional journalist or model.

6. Taking the Calculated Leap to Move Abroad

We quit our nine-to-five office job and plunged headlong into work as a travel blogger.

The decision solidifies. Witnessing a woman in a multimillion-dollar home who only dreamed of visiting Santorini, a place the author had been, highlighted the risk of delaying dreams. This stark contrast solidified the author's resolve to move abroad rather than just wishing for it. She realized that even with financial stability, life could pass you by if you didn't actively pursue what mattered.

A measured risk. The move wasn't impulsive; it was a calculated risk. The author and Michael saved money, rented out their house to cover the mortgage, and secured health insurance. They first tested the waters by moving to Nashville, a significant change from their lifelong home in Dallas. This step-by-step approach, including securing remote work for Michael, made the larger leap to Europe feel more manageable.

Choosing the unknown. Despite having never visited, Heidelberg, Germany, was chosen as their new home based on research and a gut feeling. This decision to move to an unfamiliar country represented a bold step outside their comfort zone, aligning with their desire for a truly different experience. The process of choosing the city became a symbolic act of committing to their new life trajectory.

7. Navigating Obstacles and Embracing the Unknown

We were just now getting settled, and our visa was denied?

Visa challenges test resolve. The repeated denial of their German visas became a major and unexpected hurdle. This bureaucratic battle forced them to confront the possibility of failure and having to return home. It added immense stress and uncertainty, challenging their determination and the perception of their "dream life" abroad.

Embracing the chaos. Living in temporary housing, dealing with cultural quirks like shops being closed on Sundays or unusual toilets, and facing the constant uncertainty of their legal status required resilience. These challenges, though frustrating, were part of the immersive experience of living abroad rather than just visiting. They learned to adapt and find humor in the unexpected.

Overcoming fear of failure. The fear of proving naysayers wrong and returning home with their "tail between their legs" was palpable. The visa denials amplified this fear. However, each setback also strengthened their resolve. They hired a lawyer, refined their business plan, and persisted, demonstrating that overcoming obstacles was integral to their journey and growth.

8. Cultural Differences Challenge and Expand Perspective

Truthfully, we were thrilled that German culture was so different.

Learning the unwritten rules. Moving to Germany exposed the author to significant cultural differences, from the strict "verboten" rules (like no vacuuming on Sundays) to the direct communication style and lack of public smiling. These initial encounters were sometimes jarring, like being called out for a "crazy" smile or having a dog barking complaint lead to police at the door.

Appreciating practicality and seriousness. Despite the initial awkwardness, the author grew to appreciate the practical nature and seriousness of German culture. She observed their methodical approach, adherence to rules (like waiting for the green man to cross the street), and dedication to efficiency. This contrasted with American norms and offered a new perspective on organization and public behavior.

Finding joy in new traditions. The author discovered the richness of German traditions, such as the elaborate Christmas markets, the Kaffee und Kuchen ritual, and the seriousness with which they approached holidays like Oktoberfest. These experiences, different from her American upbringing, became cherished new traditions that added depth and joy to her life abroad, highlighting the beauty in cultural diversity.

9. Building Community and Finding Belonging Abroad

I hadn’t known what was missing from my life, but now I knew, this was definitely it.

The challenge of making friends. Moving to a new country meant leaving behind established social networks and facing the daunting task of making new friends from scratch. Initial attempts, like bringing cookies to a quiet expat gathering, were awkward and highlighted cultural differences in social interaction. The author, an extrovert, found herself feeling cautious and lonely.

Seeking connection. Recognizing the importance of community, the author actively sought out ways to meet people, joining a writers' group and attending expat meetups. These efforts, though sometimes leading to uncomfortable encounters, were crucial steps in building a support system and finding like-minded individuals in her new home.

Finding unexpected family. Through persistence, the author and Michael began to form meaningful connections. Meeting fellow expats like Abdul and Letizia, and experiencing the warmth of Letizia's Italian-German family, provided a sense of belonging that had been missing. Sharing meals, traveling together, and being welcomed into their lives created a new kind of family abroad, filling the void left by being far from home.

10. Experiences and Memories Outweigh Material Possessions

Purging all our stuff made me realize I didn’t need much.

Letting go of things. The process of drastically paring down their belongings before moving abroad was initially difficult, as the author felt emotionally attached to items like old lipsticks or sentimental souvenirs. However, once in Germany, she realized how little she actually needed and didn't miss most of the things she'd left behind. This experience highlighted the burden of excessive possessions.

Valuing experiences over things. Living with minimal possessions reinforced the idea that experiences and memories are far more valuable than material goods. The joy derived from exploring new places, trying new foods, and sharing moments with Michael and new friends far surpassed any satisfaction from owning things. This shift in perspective was a direct result of embracing a less consumerist lifestyle abroad.

Collecting memories. Instead of collecting objects, the author began collecting experiences and the sensory memories associated with them, like the taste of forest honey in Austria or the smell of lavender in Èze. These intangible souvenirs became the true treasures of her travels, reminding her that a rich life is built on moments and connections, not possessions.

11. Living on Your Own Terms and Redefining Fulfillment

I knew that I was still me, but the trajectory of my life had definitely changed.

Challenging expectations. The author consciously chose a path different from the one she'd always envisioned (marriage, house, kids, stable job in Dallas) and different from societal expectations. Moving abroad, starting her own business, and prioritizing travel over traditional milestones like having children were deliberate choices that challenged conventional norms and required courage.

Finding fulfillment in the journey. Despite facing numerous challenges—visa denials, job loss, cultural adjustments, and personal fears—the author found fulfillment not just in achieving goals, but in the process of pursuing them. Building her blog, navigating life in a foreign country, and overcoming obstacles became sources of pride and growth, demonstrating that living a meaningful life is about the journey itself.

Embracing personal definition of success. The author redefined success beyond traditional metrics like job titles or Forbes lists. Building a business she was passionate about, creating a life filled with travel and new experiences, and forging deep connections abroad became her measures of success. She realized that fulfillment comes from living authentically and pursuing what truly matters to you, regardless of external validation or predefined paths.

Last updated: May 26, 2025