We Are Not Born Submissive. How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives

1. Submission is a Socially Constructed Destiny, Not an Innate Trait

Certainly, woman like man is a human being.

Rejecting Essentialism. Simone de Beauvoir argues against the idea that women are inherently submissive due to their biology or some inherent feminine essence. Instead, she posits that women's submission is a product of social, cultural, and historical forces that shape their experiences and opportunities. This perspective shifts the focus from blaming women for their submission to understanding the systemic factors that contribute to it.

Challenging Biological Determinism. While acknowledging biological differences between men and women, Beauvoir refutes the notion that these differences dictate women's social roles or destinies. She emphasizes that society, not biology, determines the meaning and significance of these differences. This perspective allows for a critique of patriarchal norms without denying the reality of sex differences.

Becoming, Not Being. Beauvoir's famous assertion that "one is not born, but rather becomes, woman" encapsulates her rejection of essentialism. She argues that femininity is a social construct, a set of expectations and norms that women are socialized into. This perspective highlights the potential for change and challenges the idea that women are destined to be submissive.

2. Women's Lived Experiences are Key to Understanding Submission

When an individual or a group of individuals is kept in a situation of inferiority, the fact is that he or they are inferior.

Phenomenological Approach. Beauvoir employs a phenomenological method, emphasizing the importance of understanding women's lived experiences in order to grasp the nature of their submission. This approach involves examining the world from women's perspectives, taking their voices and experiences seriously, and avoiding preconceived notions about their roles or desires.

Challenging Objectivity. Beauvoir challenges the presumed objectivity of the male perspective, arguing that it often obscures the realities of women's lives and perpetuates their oppression. By adopting a female-centered perspective, she aims to reveal the complexities and ambiguities of women's submission, as well as the ways in which it is both appealing and alienating.

Beyond Domination. Studying submission requires shifting the focus from the dominant to the submissive, from the one who wields power to the one who experiences it. This inversion of perspective allows for a more nuanced understanding of power dynamics and the ways in which they shape individual experiences. It also acknowledges the agency of the submissive person, recognizing that submission is not simply a passive state but an active response to power.

3. Objectification is the Root of Women's Alienation and Submission

Difference is the velvet glove on the iron fist of domination.

The Other. Beauvoir argues that women are often defined as "the Other" in relation to men, who are seen as the norm or the subject. This objectification leads to women being viewed as inferior, incomplete, or lacking in some essential quality. It also creates a sense of alienation, as women are denied the opportunity to fully realize their own subjectivity.

Sexual Objectification. A key aspect of women's objectification is their reduction to sexual objects. This involves viewing women primarily in terms of their physical appearance or sexual desirability, rather than as whole persons with their own thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. Sexual objectification can lead to a range of negative consequences, including body image issues, self-esteem problems, and increased vulnerability to sexual violence.

Internalization. The objectification of women is not simply an external force imposed upon them. Women often internalize these objectifying messages, leading them to view themselves as objects and to prioritize their appearance over other aspects of their identity. This internalization can perpetuate a cycle of submission, as women strive to meet societal expectations and gain validation through their objectified selves.

4. The Body Becomes a Site of Social Control and Self-Perception

One is not born, but rather becomes, woman.

The Body as Destiny. Beauvoir argues that women's bodies are often seen as their destiny, shaping their opportunities and limiting their potential. This perspective emphasizes the ways in which societal expectations and norms are inscribed on women's bodies, influencing their self-perception and their interactions with the world.

Lived Experience. Beauvoir draws on phenomenology to explore the lived experience of being a woman, focusing on the ways in which women's bodies are both a source of empowerment and a site of constraint. She examines the ways in which women experience their bodies as objects of the male gaze, as well as the ways in which they can reclaim their bodies as sources of pleasure and agency.

Social Construction. While acknowledging the biological realities of women's bodies, Beauvoir emphasizes the social construction of femininity. She argues that societal norms and expectations shape the ways in which women experience their bodies, influencing their self-perception, their behavior, and their relationships with others. This perspective highlights the potential for change and challenges the idea that women's bodies are inherently limiting.

5. Love and Eroticism are Entangled with Power Dynamics

The word “love” has not at all the same meaning for both sexes, and this is a source of the grave misunderstandings that separate them.

Love as Abdication. Beauvoir argues that women's love is often characterized by abdication, a willingness to sacrifice their own desires and aspirations for the sake of their partners. This self-sacrifice can be seen as a form of submission, as women prioritize the needs and desires of others over their own.

Erotic Power. Despite the potential for self-sacrifice, Beauvoir also recognizes that women can derive power from their eroticism. By making themselves desirable to men, women can gain attention, validation, and even influence. However, this power is often limited and contingent, as it depends on meeting societal expectations and conforming to male desires.

Ambiguity of Submission. Beauvoir highlights the ambiguity of submission, recognizing that it can be both a source of oppression and a source of pleasure. She argues that women often find themselves caught in a double bind, torn between the desire for autonomy and the desire for love and acceptance. This ambiguity makes it difficult to challenge patriarchal norms, as women may be reluctant to give up the perceived benefits of submission.

6. Freedom Requires Recognizing and Transcending Socially Imposed Roles

It is within the given world that it is up to man to make the reign of freedom triumph.

Existentialist Ethics. Beauvoir draws on existentialist ethics to argue that women have a responsibility to embrace their freedom and challenge the limitations imposed upon them by society. This involves recognizing the ways in which they have internalized patriarchal norms and actively working to transcend them.

Rejecting Bad Faith. Beauvoir identifies "bad faith" as a key obstacle to women's emancipation. Bad faith involves denying one's own freedom and responsibility, attributing one's actions to external forces or societal expectations. By recognizing and rejecting bad faith, women can take ownership of their lives and make authentic choices.

The Cost of Freedom. Beauvoir acknowledges that embracing freedom can be difficult and even painful, as it involves challenging societal norms and risking social disapproval. However, she argues that the rewards of freedom are worth the struggle, as it allows women to live more authentic and fulfilling lives.

7. Emancipation Involves Challenging Both Internalized and External Constraints

One does not put on a body like a garment, but it is in becoming body that the woman apprehends herself.

Internalized Oppression. Beauvoir emphasizes the importance of challenging internalized oppression, the ways in which women have come to accept and perpetuate patriarchal norms. This involves questioning traditional gender roles, challenging negative stereotypes, and reclaiming one's own subjectivity.

External Barriers. In addition to internalized oppression, Beauvoir also recognizes the importance of addressing external barriers to women's equality. This involves challenging discriminatory laws and policies, advocating for equal opportunities in education and employment, and working to create a more just and equitable society.

Collective Action. Beauvoir emphasizes the importance of collective action in achieving women's emancipation. She argues that women must unite and work together to challenge patriarchal norms and create a more just and equitable world. This involves supporting feminist organizations, advocating for social change, and challenging sexism in all its forms.

8. True Equality Demands a Transformation of Social Structures and Individual Consciousness

To emancipate woman is to refuse to confine her to the relations she bears to man, not to deny them to her; let her have her independent existence and she will continue nonetheless to exist for him also: mutually recognizing each other as subject, each will remain for the other, therefore, an other.

Beyond Formal Equality. Beauvoir argues that formal equality, such as equal rights under the law, is not enough to achieve true emancipation. She emphasizes the need for a deeper transformation of social structures and individual consciousness, one that challenges the underlying assumptions and norms that perpetuate women's oppression.

Reciprocal Recognition. Beauvoir envisions a future in which men and women recognize each other as subjects, rather than as objects. This involves challenging traditional gender roles, promoting mutual respect and understanding, and creating a society in which both men and women are free to pursue their full potential.

Ongoing Struggle. Beauvoir recognizes that the struggle for women's emancipation is an ongoing process, one that requires constant vigilance and effort. She emphasizes the need to remain critical of societal norms, to challenge injustice wherever it is found, and to continue working towards a more just and equitable world for all.

Last updated: April 28, 2025