Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? Big Questions from Tiny Mortals About Death

1. Your Cat Probably Won't Eat Your Eyeballs (Right Away)

Cats tend to consume human parts that are soft and exposed, like the face and neck, with special focus on the mouth and nose.

Initial expectation vs. reality. Your cat, Snickers McMuffin, isn't plotting to devour you the moment you die; they'll initially just expect you to get up and feed them. However, if you remain undiscovered for a significant time, hunger will eventually override their loyalty. They are, after all, opportunistic predators sharing 95.6% of their DNA with lions.

Targeting soft tissues. When a hungry cat does turn to your corpse, they'll go for the soft, accessible areas. This includes eyelids, lips, tongue, and yes, potentially eyeballs, but other facial features are often easier targets. This behavior stems from their predatory instincts, not malice.

Dogs are different. Interestingly, dogs are more likely to interact with your corpse, often attempting to rouse you with nips and licks that can cause significant damage. Unlike cats driven purely by hunger after a delay, a dog's initial interaction might be rooted in anxiety and an attempt to wake their human.

2. Dying in Space Is a Bloaty, Freezing, Uncharted Territory

Like the vast reaches of space, the fate of an astronaut corpse is uncharted territory.

Rapid decompression effects. If an astronaut's suit is breached, the lack of atmospheric pressure causes gases in the body to expand and liquids to vaporize. Water in tissues turns to vapor, causing the body to distend, and nitrogen in the blood forms painful bubbles (like the bends). Unconsciousness occurs within seconds, followed by death from asphyxiation and ruptured lungs.

Handling a space corpse. Space agencies haven't publicly detailed protocols, but options exist.

• Bring back: Keep the body cold (like trash) until transport.
• Process in space: A system like the "Body Back" could freeze the body, shatter it, and dehydrate it into powder for later return.
• Release into space: Similar to burial at sea, but the body would likely follow the ship's orbit, becoming space trash, or eventually burn up entering a planet's atmosphere.

Not like the movies. Unlike sci-fi depictions, a body won't explode dramatically in space. The process is more about swelling and freezing. While releasing a body might seem romantic, it creates orbital debris. The practicalities lean towards processing or cold storage until return to Earth.

3. Keeping Your Parents' Skulls Is Legally and Practically Difficult

I will argue with you all day long that it isn’t legal in any state in the United States to reduce a human head to a skull.

Legal hurdles exist. While there's no federal law against owning human remains (except Native American), state laws often prohibit the sale or possession of remains in ways that "would outrage ordinary family sensibilities." Funeral homes are not equipped or legally permitted to decapitate and skeletonize bodies for private ownership.

Skeletonization process. Reducing a body to a skeleton typically involves methods like boiling or using dermestid beetles to eat the flesh. These processes are usually only performed for scientific or museum purposes, and obtaining a permit for private skeletonization is currently impossible in the U.S.

Questionable sources. Many human skulls available for private sale online have dubious origins, often sourced unethically from bone trades in other countries. Even if you could legally own a skull, obtaining one ethically from a deceased relative is not a standard or legal option under current U.S. laws.

4. Dead Bodies Don't Sit Up or Scream, But They Do Twitch and Groan

Your body is not going to sit bolt upright on its own corpsey power.

Primary relaxation. Immediately after death, muscles relax completely (primary relaxation), which is why eyelids and jaws may fall open. This is the time funeral directors recommend closing them for a peaceful appearance before rigor mortis sets in.

Postmortem movements and sounds. While dramatic movements are fiction, small twitches and spasms can occur in the first hours or even up to twelve hours due to residual nervous system activity. Groans or whooshing sounds can happen when a body is moved, pushing air out of the windpipe, or later, as gases from bacterial decomposition are expelled.

Historical fears. The fear of being buried alive, fueled by these postmortem phenomena before scientific understanding, led to practices like "waiting mortuaries" in the 18th century. Bodies were monitored for signs of life (or decomposition) before burial, sometimes with elaborate alarm systems triggered by movement, which often just detected bloating.

5. Backyard Pet Burials Might Get Dug Up (Unless You Dig Deep Enough)

As an animal begins to decompose beneath the soil, it produces some very pungent-smelling compounds called cadaverine and putrescine.

Scavenger attraction. Decomposing animals release strong smells like cadaverine and putrescine, which attract scavenger animals like coyotes looking for an easy meal. A shallow grave (like a foot deep) might not provide enough scent barrier to deter them.

Soil matters. The type of soil significantly impacts decomposition.

• Sandy/Dry: Can lead to natural mummification, preserving the body.
• Loamy/Moist: Ideal for rapid decomposition by microbes, potentially leaving little behind.
• Deep burial: Slows decomposition due to less oxygen and microbial activity.

Human graves are different. Animals rarely dig up human graves in formal cemeteries because:

• Graves are typically deeper (3.5 feet or more is standard for natural burial, providing a scent barrier).
• The sheer size of a human body makes it a less appealing target than smaller prey.
• Formal cemeteries often have more oversight and less easy access for large scavengers.

6. Preserving Your Body in Amber Is Cool, But Won't Bring You Back

I think a dead body encased in amber would be cool as heck.

How amber forms. Amber is fossilized tree resin. Insects or other small organisms get trapped in sticky resin, which is then protected from decay and fossilizes over millions of years under heat and pressure.

Preservation quality. Amber can preserve the form of ancient organisms incredibly well, offering stunning glimpses into prehistoric life. Examples include ancient insects, feathers, and even lizards trapped mid-action.

DNA degradation. While the external form is preserved, DNA degrades too quickly due to environmental factors like temperature and moisture changes. Therefore, extracting viable DNA from a body preserved in amber to clone it (like in Jurassic Park) is not scientifically possible with current understanding.

7. Dead Bodies Turn Colors Due to Blood Settling and Bacteria Feasting

Dead bodies can be a colorful kaleidoscope of activity.

Early color changes. In the first hours after death, the body becomes pale and waxy as blood stops circulating. Livor mortis, the pooling of blood in lower areas due to gravity, causes purple discoloration (the "bluish color of death"), which can help forensics determine body position after death.

Putrefaction colors. Around 1.5 days after death, putrefaction begins, driven by gut bacteria. This starts with a greenish-brown discoloration in the lower abdomen, spreading as bacteria multiply. Gases produced cause bloating.

Marbling and later stages. As decomposition progresses, blood vessels near the skin surface decay, and hemoglobin stains the skin, creating a "marbling" effect in shades of red, purple, green, and black. Bilirubin and biliverdin from hemoglobin breakdown add yellow and green hues. These profound color changes make the body unrecognizable over time.

8. Cremation Reduces Everyone to Ground-Up Bones, Regardless of Size

And whether you’re holding an urn containing your grandma or your neighbor Doug, it’s a ground-up skeleton in there.

The cremation process. A body enters a chamber heated to over 1500°F. Soft tissues (muscles, skin, organs, fat) vaporize within the first hour. The human body is about 60% water, which also evaporates.

What remains. After the organic material is gone, only brittle bones remain. These are primarily calcium phosphates and minerals. They are sterile and contain no DNA. Weight (like fat) burns away, so a heavier person doesn't yield significantly more remains than a lighter person.

Processing the bones. The remaining bone fragments are cooled, metal implants are removed, and the bones are pulverized into a fine, light gray powder called "cremated remains" or "ashes." This powder is what fits into a standard urn. Height, rather than weight, is a better predictor of ash volume, with taller people generally yielding slightly more remains.

9. Yes, You Might Poop When You Die (And Funeral Directors Are Ready)

You might poop when you die.

Muscle relaxation. When you die, your brain stops sending signals to your muscles, including the voluntary external anal sphincter that keeps feces contained. After the initial rigor mortis passes, muscles relax, allowing any contents in the rectum or bladder to be released.

Factors influencing postmortem release. Whether you poop depends on if there is waste in your system at the time of death. People who have been ill or haven't eaten recently may have little to expel. Movement of the body during transport can also cause release.

Mortician's perspective. Funeral directors are accustomed to dealing with postmortem bodily fluids. They use various methods to prevent leakage during viewings, ranging from non-invasive diapers and absorbent pads to more involved techniques like aspirating cavities or packing orifices with cotton. Forensic pathologists also examine stomach and bowel contents for clues about the time and cause of death.

10. Conjoined Twins Often Die Close Together Due to Shared Systems

Thus the depressing answer to the question “Do conjoined twins always die at the same time?” is “More or less, yes.”

Rarity and prognosis. Conjoined twins are rare (1 in 200,000 births), and a high percentage die before or shortly after birth. Survival often depends on where they are joined and what organs they share.

Shared physiology. Even if twins have separate organs like hearts or lungs, these organs often function in tandem, with one twin's system compensating for the other's weakness. If one twin's vital organs fail, the strain on the other twin's system can quickly lead to their death as well.

Separation challenges. Modern medicine can separate some conjoined twins, especially if they don't share critical organs. However, separation is complex and risky, particularly as twins age and develop deeper physical and emotional connections. Historically and in many modern cases, the death of one twin during or after separation surgery leads quickly to the death of the other.

11. Dying with a Silly Face Won't Make It Stick Forever (Usually)

If you died making a stupid face, would it be stuck like that forever?

Primary relaxation and rigor mortis. Immediately after death, muscles relax (primary relaxation). Any facial expression would disappear. Rigor mortis then sets in, stiffening muscles in whatever position they are in, but this typically starts hours later and lasts only about 72 hours before muscles relax again.

Cadaveric spasm. A rare phenomenon called cadaveric spasm (instantaneous rigor) can cause muscles to stiffen immediately at the moment of death, often in the arms or hands. This is usually associated with stressful deaths (drowning, struggle).

Unlikely for faces. While cadaveric spasm could theoretically freeze a facial expression, it's most commonly observed in limb muscles. It's highly improbable that a silly face made at the moment of death would be locked in permanently, especially through the entire process of decomposition.

12. The Smell of Death Comes from Bacteria, Not Ghosts

The reason dead bodies don’t start smelling right away is because the classic “scent of decay” comes from decomposition, and decomposition emerges over several days.

Decomposition takes time. A newly deceased body smells like the living person. The strong, unpleasant odor associated with death develops over several days as bacteria (especially gut bacteria) and other microbes begin to break down the body's tissues.

Volatile organic compounds (VOCs). Microbes produce gases containing VOCs as they consume the body. Key culprits include sulfur-containing compounds, which contribute to the rotten egg or sewage-like smells. These smells attract insects like blowflies, signaling a food source and egg-laying site.

Unique human scent. While decomposition smells share common compounds, humans have a specific "chemical cocktail" of eight compounds that give our decomposition a unique scent, though pigs share these same compounds. Historically, people were more accustomed to the smell of decay due to less effective preservation methods, sometimes even associating it with prestige (like "good old hospital stink").

Last updated: May 4, 2025