Work Wife

1. Female Friendship Fuels Business Success.

Our professional partnership has been the beneficiary of the tenets that anchor female friendship: emotional intimacy, vulnerability, a penchant for collaboration, and a pattern of mutual support—qualities that have unique power and potential to spawn great ideas and create foundations for strong businesses.

Friendship as foundation. The authors, Erica Cerulo and Claire Mazur, co-founded their business, Of a Kind, eight years into their friendship. They found that the core strengths of their bond – trust, intimacy, and mutual support – translated directly into a powerful professional partnership, enabling them to navigate the challenges of entrepreneurship together.

Beyond competition. Historically, women in the workplace were often pitted against each other. However, a cultural shift towards solidarity, exemplified by concepts like #squadgoals and Shine Theory, highlights the power of women collaborating rather than competing. This ethos is proving to be a strong driver for successful female-led ventures.

Innate collaboration. Research suggests women are often socialized to be more cooperative and supportive, thriving in team environments. This inclination towards collaboration, bonding through shared feelings and experiences, provides a natural advantage when forming business partnerships rooted in deep personal connection.

2. Test the Waters Before Partnering Up.

If [cofounders] haven’t known each other five-plus years, I often suggest they take some crazy trip together to make sure they don’t hate each other at the end of it.

Prior work experience helps. Many successful female partnerships, including the authors', Food52, and Lucky magazine founders, benefited from having worked together in some capacity before committing to a full business partnership. This allowed them to understand each other's work habits, ethics, and professional strengths and weaknesses in a lower-stakes environment.

Simulate stress. For those without prior work history, simulating stressful situations can reveal compatibility. Venture capitalist Hayley Barna suggests taking a "crazy trip" together to see how potential partners handle adversity, delays, and unexpected problems. This stress test can be a quick way to gauge resilience and collaborative problem-solving skills.

Observe interactions. Pay attention to how potential partners interact with others and with each other in professional settings. Do they build off each other's ideas or interrupt? Are their skills complementary? Observing these dynamics can provide crucial insights into whether a pairing has the potential for long-term success.

3. Transparency & Defined Roles Build Trust.

Not to be hyperbolic, but deciding to make every single thing we do in life visible to each other—from waxing appointments to dinners with former coworkers to meetings with potential investors—feels like it gets to the core of us as a twosome in a meaningful way.

Openness builds intimacy. Sharing personal schedules and being transparent about daily lives, even mundane details, fosters a deeper understanding and sensitivity between partners. This radical transparency, while seemingly non-work related, provides context for moods and behaviors, strengthening the bond and trust necessary for navigating business challenges.

Define responsibilities. Clearly defining roles and responsibilities, especially for tasks that aren't inherently exciting or aligned with core strengths, prevents resentment and ensures accountability. While some duos adopt a fluid "somebody always picks up the slack" approach, others benefit from structured division of labor, often documented in shared spreadsheets.

Present a united front. Even when working independently, partners should maintain a sense of togetherness. Using "we" language consistently, consulting each other before making decisions, and presenting a unified perspective to employees and external parties reinforces the strength and cohesion of the partnership.

4. Blurring Personal & Professional Lines Works.

We are able to do what we do successfully because we can flow seamlessly from talking about contracts, timelines, and job applicants to Korean sheet masks, health concerns, and C-list celebrities.

Workplace friendships boost business. Research indicates that having friends at work leads to higher employee engagement, productivity, and job satisfaction. Women, in particular, tend to form more collegial relationships in the workplace, creating environments where personal and professional lives naturally intertwine.

Emotional transparency is key. Bringing one's "whole self" to work, including personal anxieties and challenges, allows partners to understand the underlying reasons for stress or irritability. This emotional transparency, while requiring vulnerability, enables partners to offer genuine support and empathy, strengthening the relationship during difficult times.

Prioritize friendship time. While work often dominates, intentionally carving out time for non-work-related bonding is crucial for maintaining the friendship within the partnership. This could involve scheduled walks, shared experiences outside the office, or simply making time for personal check-ins amidst the workday demands.

5. Leading with Empathy Creates Better Culture.

Not showing your humanity…I just don’t see the benefit in that.

A new leadership model. Traditional "macho" leadership models focused on command-and-control are giving way to more "feminine" archetypes that prioritize empathy, open communication, and admitting mistakes. Studies show that women managers often foster more engaged teams and provide better emotional support during stress.

Culture by example. Company culture is often shaped by the leaders' behavior and values. Partners who prioritize openness, mutual support, and work-life balance in their own dynamic tend to create a workplace where these values are embedded, leading to a more positive and supportive environment for the entire team.

Hiring for fit. Identifying and hiring employees who align with the established company culture and the partners' values is crucial. Prioritizing qualities like kindness, curiosity, and enthusiasm during the hiring process helps build a cohesive team that thrives in the environment the partners have created.

6. Aligning on Money is Non-Negotiable.

Money is the perpetual third wheel.

Shared financial philosophy. Successful partnerships require a common approach to finances, including how money is earned, spent, and valued. Whether the goal is rapid growth, sustainable income, or prioritizing mission over profit, partners must be aligned to make sound financial decisions together.

Open conversations about expectations. Discussing individual financial needs, expectations for income, and comfort levels with risk is essential, even if uncomfortable. These conversations, though potentially difficult, prevent future resentment and ensure both partners feel their contributions and needs are valued.

Equal visibility and accountability. Both partners should have equal access to financial information and be involved in key financial decisions. This shared accountability, even if one partner takes the lead on day-to-day finances, ensures transparency and prevents misunderstandings or blame when financial challenges arise.

7. Learning to Fight (Productively) is Key.

Brittle things break.

Conflict is necessary. Avoiding conflict, while seemingly preserving harmony, can lead to bottled-up resentment and ultimately damage the partnership. Learning to articulate frustrations and disagreements directly, regularly, and respectfully is crucial for building a resilient relationship that can withstand pressure.

Practice makes progress. Developing the skill of productive conflict takes practice. Starting with smaller disagreements, finding methods that work (like talking during a walk or drive), and setting aside dedicated time for check-ins can help partners become more comfortable airing grievances without fear of derailing the entire relationship.

Trust enables vulnerability. The ability to argue effectively is built on a foundation of trust. When partners trust that the other person is committed to the relationship and wants to work through issues, they are more likely to be vulnerable, express their true feelings, and engage in difficult conversations necessary for growth.

8. Supporting Life Changes Strengthens Partnership.

These weren’t policies put in place by well-intentioned HR departments; they were acts of friendship from one woman to another, meant to provide support during a vulnerable time.

Navigating motherhood together. The American workplace often fails to support working parents, particularly mothers. Work-wife partnerships offer a unique opportunity for women to support each other through major life changes like having children, creating flexible arrangements and providing emotional and practical help that traditional HR policies may not cover.

Empathy in action. Partners who have navigated parenthood themselves can offer invaluable support to others embarking on that journey, anticipating needs and providing practical assistance like keeping them informed during maternity leave without overwhelming them. This empathy strengthens the bond and demonstrates a deep commitment to each other's well-being.

Prioritizing personal milestones. Allowing space and time for partners to fully engage with significant personal events, even if it means stepping back from work temporarily, reinforces the value of the individual within the partnership. This support system helps combat the "motherhood penalty" and encourages women to stay engaged in their careers.

9. Shared Adversity Creates a Stronger Bond.

Want to quickly move past an argument with somebody? Put a nagging annoyance in perspective? Feel bonded in a moment of struggle? Simply direct that negative energy toward a common enemy!

Us against the world. Facing external challenges or adversaries together can quickly unify partners and strengthen their bond. Whether it's difficult investors, market downturns, or competitive pressures, directing collective energy outward can help partners move past internal disagreements and reinforce their shared purpose.

Tend and befriend. Research suggests women's stress response often involves "tend-and-befriend" behaviors – nurturing, protecting, and affiliating with social groups for survival. In a business partnership, this translates to partners huddling together during tough times, caring for each other, and collaboratively addressing problems rather than fighting or fleeing.

Resilience through shared struggle. Navigating significant adversity together, whether personal crises or business challenges, can test a partnership but ultimately make it more resilient. Surviving difficult periods reinforces trust, highlights mutual reliance, and provides a shared history of overcoming obstacles, strengthening the foundation for future challenges.

Last updated: June 1, 2025