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You Deserve This Sh!t

You Deserve This Sh!t

Get Unstuck, Find Your Path, and Become the Best Version of Yourself
by Jordan Tarver 2021 230 pages
3.65
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Awareness: The Bedrock of Self-Discovery

Nothing can change without awareness.

Recognize the Atmosphere. Awareness is the ability to recognize what's happening around you, understanding your character, feelings, and inspirations. It's about noticing everything, from the significant to the seemingly insignificant, and using that knowledge to guide your actions. Without awareness, you're simply drifting, missing opportunities for growth and change.

Reconnect with Awareness. Awareness is innate, but it can become dulled over time. Reconnecting requires conscious effort, such as journaling, mindfulness exercises, and paying attention to your surroundings. The goal is to cultivate a heightened sense of self and the world around you, allowing you to make more informed decisions.

Awareness for Change. Awareness is the first step toward creating change in your life. By understanding your patterns, triggers, and motivations, you can begin to design a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. It's about taking control and shaping your destiny, rather than being a passive observer.

2. Journaling: Your Personal Narnia

A journal gives you access to the author’s chair.

Uncover Your Story. Journaling is more than just writing down your thoughts; it's a tool for self-discovery. It provides a space to explore your emotions, analyze your experiences, and uncover hidden truths about yourself. The blank pages of a journal are an invitation to become the author of your own life.

Verbal Vomit. Start with "verbal vomit," a stream-of-consciousness writing exercise where you simply write whatever comes to mind without judgment. This can help unlock hidden thoughts and feelings, leading to new insights. Then, practice gratitude journaling, listing things you're thankful for to shift your perspective.

Guided Brainstorm. Use guided brainstorming to answer specific questions about your life, such as "What's my purpose?" Write down everything that comes to mind related to the question, then distill those ideas into a concise statement. Journaling is a magnifying glass into your own life.

3. Small Things, Profound Lessons

The small things in life teach the most profound lessons.

Mindfulness in the Mundane. Pay attention to the small things in life, the seemingly insignificant details that often go unnoticed. These details can hold valuable lessons about yourself and the world around you. It's about being present in the moment and appreciating the richness of everyday experiences.

The Grape Exercise. Try the "grape exercise," where you focus all your attention on eating a single grape, noticing its texture, taste, and aroma. This exercise can help you become more mindful of your senses and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. The burst of the grape’s juice can be a parallel to almost everything in life.

Self-Awareness. The small things can reveal larger patterns and insights. By noticing your reactions to certain stimuli, you can gain a deeper understanding of your emotions, triggers, and motivations. This self-awareness is essential for personal growth and making intentional choices.

4. Honest Self-Questioning: The Courage to Ask

Why settle for less in a universe defined by infinity?

The Voice Within. Develop the voice of honest self-questioning, a voice that asks the tough questions you might be afraid to face. These questions can help you uncover your insecurities, challenge your assumptions, and push you to grow beyond your comfort zone. Honest self-questioning will take your insecurities and teach you to embrace them with open arms and an open mind.

Sample Questions. Ask yourself questions like: What triggers your emotions most? What makes you vibrate with happiness and gratitude? How do you move toward forgiveness when someone hurts you? What does society say you must do that you don't agree with?

Uncover Your Riches. The answers you seek often come from asking daunting questions. Don't be afraid to delve into the uncomfortable areas of your life. The reward for overcoming your intimidation is uncovering your own riches.

5. Adaptability: Riding the Waves of Change

Trust what the universe wants you to do. You’re worthy of its guidance.

Embrace Change. Learn to adapt to your surroundings and embrace change, rather than resisting it. Change can be a catalyst for growth and opportunity, leading you down new paths you never imagined. The telltale sign that you should chase something is when something makes you question your identity, feel emotions you’ve never felt before, and think that you’re not supposed to do it because you’ve never tried it before.

Signs of Change. Pay attention to the signs that life is urging you to shift gears, such as when something you love starts to feel like a chore, when your progression becomes stagnant, when you're constantly dreaming about the past, when your daily routine isn't opening any new doors, or when you're simply unhappy.

Let Go of Self-Doubt. Stop making excuses and limiting your potential. You are capable of anything you want to do. Trust your intuition and understand that doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is insanity.

6. Stillness: Finding Answers Within

You were created to do great things, now’s your time to shine.

The Power of Meditation. When in doubt, close your eyes and look within. Meditation can be a powerful tool for reconnecting with your self-awareness and finding clarity in the midst of chaos. It's about quieting the noise of the outside world and listening to your inner voice.

Meditation Practices. Experiment with different meditation practices, such as gratitude meditation, manifestation meditation, and silent meditation, to find what resonates with you. Each practice offers a unique way to tap into your inner wisdom and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

Commit to Stillness. Meditation takes effort and commitment. Treat it like a class and show up every day with the intent to learn and grow. The lessons you learn in silence are unmatched.

7. Trust Thyself: The Foundation of Boldness

Trusting yourself is the first step in recognizing your full potential.

The Trust Battery. Build trust with yourself by monitoring your "trust battery." Every time you choose to step outside your comfort zone, you charge your battery. Every time you back down, you deplete it.

Charge Your Battery. Understand and work with your inner critic, challenge yourself to try something new, and be kind to yourself. Positive self-talk and self-care are nutrients for your mind, body, and soul.

Unlock Your Potential. Trust allows you to have faith in something. Trust builds an intention to believe that something is possible. Your capabilities have always existed, but you can’t uncover them until you trust and believe in yourself.

8. Reject the Normal: Embrace Your Uniqueness

Nothing happens without action.

Dare to Be Different. Reject the normal and embrace your uniqueness. Don't be afraid to go against the grain and do what others may find "weird." Your weirdness is what will lead you to be your most authentic self.

Create Motivation. Motivation doesn't just happen; you must create it through your own actions. Take that first step outside your comfort zone, and the rest will follow.

Trust Your Gut. Trust yourself. You know what you want in life. Don’t let the words of other people get in your head and shape your reality. Let you shape your reality.

9. The Beginner's Mind: A Gateway to Growth

The incremental progress along your path is the drug that keeps you going.

Permission to Learn. Give yourself permission to be a beginner. Don't be afraid to try new things, even if you're not immediately good at them. Everyone starts somewhere, and the journey of learning is just as important as the destination.

Embrace the Process. The incremental progress along your path is the drug that keeps you going. Celebrate small victories and use them as motivation to keep striving for more.

Be a Sponge. Become a receptor of everything around you when you’re a beginner. Be like a sponge—absorb everything and anything surrounding you. Use your awareness to notice what you can capitalize on and what you can utilize to take yourself to the next level.

10. Curiosity: The Compass of Experience

The curiosity of experience can lead to self-realization.

Seek New Experiences. Be curious about new experiences, even if they seem outside your comfort zone. The curiosity of experience is something we all need to practice constantly. Without seeking those experiences, we are stuck with what we know.

Quality Time. Don't just try something once and dismiss it. Spend quality time with new experiences, allowing them to evolve and reveal their full potential.

Overcome Fear. Overcome your fear of curiosity and embrace the unknown. The outcome of your life is in your hands, and you have the power to create the experiences you desire.

11. Intentional Living: Designing a Life of Purpose

A simple morning routine lets you win your day before it even takes place.

Conscious Choices. Intentional living is about making conscious efforts to live aligned with your truest values and beliefs. Your decisions define you, and choosing a life that matters is completely in your hands.

Morning Routine. Start with a purposeful morning routine to set the tone for your day. Include activities that energize you, clear your mind, and connect you with your values.

Positive Thoughts. Be cognizant of your thoughts. The power of thought is one of the most amazing tools we all possess. If you can think of it, you can visualize it. If you can visualize it, you can recognize the work that you need to act on to bring it into your reality.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.65 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

"You Deserve This Sh!t" receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.65/5. Some readers find it repetitive and basic, criticizing its privileged tone and lack of depth. Others praise its straightforward approach and motivational content, considering it a helpful guide for personal growth. The book is divided into three sections: Awareness, Comfort Zones, and Intentional Living. While some view it as an excellent starter for self-help, others feel it lacks originality. The author's writing style is described as conversational and relatable, though opinions vary on its effectiveness.

Your rating:

About the Author

Jordan Tarver is an author, photographer, and Forbes editor whose life was transformed by a near-death experience in 2013 and a solo backpacking trip. These events inspired him to pursue a meaningful life and empower others to do the same. Tarver's work stems from extensive personal growth and self-discovery, which helped him overcome self-doubt and uncertainty. He draws from his own struggles to guide others towards self-understanding and purpose. Tarver believes in the transformative power of dedicating time to understanding one's soul and aims to share this insight with his readers, helping them navigate their own journeys of self-improvement and personal development.

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