The Art of Intimacy

1. What is "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" by Stacey D’Erasmo about?

• Exploration of Literary Intimacy: The book examines how intimacy is created, represented, and experienced in fiction, focusing on the "space between" characters, readers, and writers.
• Analysis of Craft: D’Erasmo investigates the narrative techniques and literary devices that evoke intimacy, such as the subjunctive, image, white space, and shared perspective.
• Case Studies: Through close readings of works by authors like Virginia Woolf, D.H. Lawrence, Toni Morrison, and others, the book illustrates how different writers approach the challenge of rendering intimacy.
• Beyond Romance: The book expands the concept of intimacy beyond romantic love, including friendships, familial bonds, fleeting connections, and even the relationship between reader and text.

2. Why should I read "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" by Stacey D’Erasmo?

• For Writers and Readers: The book offers valuable insights for writers seeking to craft more authentic and resonant relationships in fiction, as well as for readers interested in understanding how literature moves them.
• Unique Perspective: D’Erasmo’s focus on the "space between" provides a fresh lens for considering character dynamics and narrative structure.
• Literary Examples: The book is rich with examples from classic and contemporary literature, making it both a practical guide and a work of literary criticism.
• Thought-Provoking Questions: It challenges assumptions about intimacy, sentimentality, and the limits of what can be expressed in fiction.

3. What are the key takeaways from "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• Intimacy as Space: Intimacy in fiction is often found not in direct declarations or actions, but in the charged, ambiguous spaces between characters.
• Narrative Techniques Matter: Devices like the subjunctive mood, shifting perspectives, and the use of image and white space are powerful tools for evoking intimacy.
• Ambiguity and Distance: Sometimes, distance, ambiguity, and even unsayability are necessary for readers to feel the full weight of connection or loss.
• Reader-Writer Relationship: The book highlights the complex, intimate relationship between writer and reader, mediated by the text itself.

4. How does Stacey D’Erasmo define "intimacy" in fiction in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• Not Just Romance: Intimacy encompasses a wide range of human connections, including friendship, familial bonds, fleeting encounters, and the reader-writer relationship.
• Vital, Electric Space: D’Erasmo describes intimacy as the "space between"—a vital, electric zone that drives stories and produces change.
• Earned Meaning: In literature, intimate connections must "earn their keep" by carrying meaning and speaking truth about human existence.
• Ambiguity and Privacy: True intimacy often involves ambiguity, privacy, and the unspoken, rather than overt declarations or actions.

5. What are the main literary techniques for creating intimacy in fiction, according to "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• The Subjunctive ("If") Mood: Using hypothetical or conditional language to evoke longing, regret, and possibility, as seen in works by William Maxwell and Elizabeth Bowen.
• Shared Perspective and Shifting Viewpoints: Moving fluidly between characters’ perspectives to show mutual influence and emotional exchange, exemplified by D.H. Lawrence.
• Image and Metaphor: Employing powerful images or metaphors to unite characters and readers in a shared emotional or aesthetic experience, as in Virginia Woolf’s writing.
• White Space and Fragmentation: Utilizing gaps, ellipses, and fragmented narrative to invite the reader into the story and create a sense of complicity or participation.

6. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" use examples from other authors to illustrate its points?

• Close Readings: D’Erasmo analyzes passages from authors like Virginia Woolf, D.H. Lawrence, Toni Morrison, and others to show how intimacy is constructed on the page.
• Comparative Approach: The book contrasts different approaches to intimacy, such as the physicality in Lawrence versus the communal image in Woolf.
• Diverse Genres and Eras: Examples span genres, time periods, and cultural contexts, demonstrating the universality and variability of literary intimacy.
• Highlighting Technique: Each example is used to highlight a specific narrative device or thematic concern related to intimacy.

7. What is the significance of the "space between" in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• Metaphorical and Literal: The "space between" refers both to the literal distance between characters and to the metaphorical, emotional, or psychological gap that intimacy bridges.
• Source of Tension and Change: This space is where narrative tension, transformation, and meaning are generated.
• Not Just a Medium: D’Erasmo argues that the space between is sometimes the very substance of intimacy, not just its setting.
• Requires Inventiveness: Writers must invent new techniques to render each unique "space between" authentically.

8. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" address the relationship between reader and writer?

• Intimacy Through Text: The book explores how the act of writing and reading creates a unique, intimate space between author and audience.
• White Space as Meeting Ground: D’Erasmo discusses how white space on the page and narrative gaps invite the reader to participate, interpret, and co-create meaning.
• Complicity and Responsibility: The reader is often made complicit in the story, especially in works that challenge or unsettle, such as those by Joan Didion and Percival Everett.
• Protean Other: The writer is always addressing an unknowable, shifting reader, making the relationship dynamic and unpredictable.

9. What role does ambiguity and unsayability play in intimacy, according to "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• Ambiguity as Essential: Ambiguity allows for multiple interpretations and preserves the privacy and complexity of intimate experiences.
• Unsayable Emotions: Some emotions or connections are too profound or painful to be stated directly; their power is felt through what is left unsaid.
• Distance Enhances Meaning: Paradoxically, distance and indirectness can make intimacy more palpable and meaningful for the reader.
• Examples in Literature: Works like Toni Morrison’s "Beloved" use unsayability and narrative distance to convey the weight of love and loss.

10. How does "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" critique common assumptions and stereotypes about intimacy in fiction?

• Challenges Stereotypes: D’Erasmo questions received ideas about gender, sexuality, and relationship dynamics, urging writers to look beyond clichés.
• Warns Against Sentimentality: The book cautions against sentimental or formulaic portrayals of intimacy that flatten complexity and reduce characters to types.
• Encourages Self-Examination: Writers are encouraged to interrogate their own assumptions and projections when depicting intimacy.
• Advocates for Nuance: True literary intimacy requires attention to ambiguity, contradiction, and the unexpected.

11. What are some of the most memorable quotes from "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between" and what do they mean?

• "The space between is vital, electric, and it often drives the story." — Emphasizes that the energy of fiction often comes from the charged gap between characters.
• "That odd and powerful space between, the space where we meet, isn’t only the medium for intimacy: it is, sometimes, the thing itself." — Suggests that intimacy is not just about connection, but about the very existence of the space that allows for connection.
• "We do not know what will happen if only we have the courage to look closely." — Encourages both writers and readers to approach intimacy with openness and curiosity, rather than preconceived notions.
• "Making visible what, without you, I would perhaps have never seen." — Highlights the revelatory power of art and the collaborative nature of meaning-making between writer and reader.

12. What practical advice does Stacey D’Erasmo offer writers about rendering intimacy in fiction in "The Art of Intimacy: The Space Between"?

• Question Your Assumptions: Writers should examine their own beliefs and received ideas about intimacy before putting them on the page.
• Embrace Ambiguity: Allow for uncertainty, contradiction, and the unsayable in character relationships and narrative structure.
• Invent New Techniques: Each story’s intimacy may require unique narrative strategies—don’t rely on formulaic approaches.
• Respect Privacy and Distance: Sometimes, what is not shown or said is more powerful than what is; leave space for the reader’s imagination and interpretation.