The Total Woman

What's "The Total Woman" about?

• Overview: "The Total Woman" by Marabel Morgan is a guidebook aimed at helping women revitalize their marriages by embracing traditional roles and focusing on their husbands' needs.
• Focus on Marriage: The book emphasizes the importance of communication, admiration, and adapting to one's husband to create a fulfilling marital relationship.
• Practical Advice: It offers practical tips and assignments for women to improve their marriages, covering topics like appearance, sex, and household management.
• Personal Experience: Morgan shares her personal journey and the success stories of women who have applied her principles, making the book both a personal narrative and a self-help guide.

Why should I read "The Total Woman"?

• Marriage Improvement: If you're looking to enhance your marriage and bring back romance and communication, this book provides actionable advice.
• Traditional Values: It offers a perspective rooted in traditional gender roles, which may appeal to those seeking a more conventional approach to marriage.
• Success Stories: The book includes real-life examples and testimonials from women who have successfully applied Morgan's methods.
• Self-Reflection: It encourages self-reflection and personal growth, urging women to evaluate their roles and responsibilities within their marriages.

What are the key takeaways of "The Total Woman"?

• Acceptance and Admiration: Accepting and admiring your husband as he is can strengthen your marriage and improve communication.
• Adaptation: Adapting to your husband's lifestyle and preferences is presented as a way to reduce conflict and increase marital satisfaction.
• Physical Appearance: Maintaining physical attractiveness for your husband is emphasized as a crucial element in keeping the romance alive.
• Communication and Understanding: Effective communication and understanding your husband's needs are highlighted as essential components of a successful marriage.

What is the "Total Woman" method?

• Four A's: The method revolves around four key principles: Accept, Admire, Adapt, and Appreciate your husband.
• Practical Assignments: The book includes assignments for women to practice these principles in their daily lives, such as dressing up for their husbands and planning special evenings.
• Focus on Husband's Needs: The method encourages women to prioritize their husband's needs and desires to foster a loving and supportive relationship.
• Spiritual Component: Morgan also integrates a spiritual aspect, suggesting that a relationship with God can enhance personal and marital fulfillment.

How does Marabel Morgan suggest women improve communication in marriage?

• Be a Good Listener: Morgan advises women to actively listen to their husbands without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice.
• Avoid Criticism: She emphasizes the importance of refraining from criticism and instead offering support and understanding.
• Understand His Perspective: Women are encouraged to see things from their husband's point of view to foster empathy and reduce conflict.
• Create a Safe Space: Establishing a safe and open environment for communication is crucial for resolving issues and building trust.

What role does physical appearance play in "The Total Woman"?

• Curb Appeal: Morgan stresses the importance of maintaining "curb appeal" by being physically attractive to your husband.
• Daily Effort: She suggests that women should make an effort to look their best, especially when their husbands come home from work.
• Variety and Surprise: Introducing variety in appearance, such as wearing different outfits or costumes, is recommended to keep the relationship exciting.
• Confidence Booster: Looking good is also portrayed as a confidence booster for women, which can positively impact their interactions with their husbands.

What advice does Marabel Morgan give about sex in marriage?

• Super Sex: Morgan introduces the concept of "super sex," which involves setting the right atmosphere and being mentally and physically prepared for intimacy.
• Be Available: She advises women to be available and responsive to their husband's sexual needs, emphasizing the importance of mutual satisfaction.
• Creative and Spontaneous: Encouraging creativity and spontaneity in the bedroom is suggested to prevent routine and boredom.
• Communication: Open communication about sexual preferences and desires is highlighted as essential for a fulfilling sexual relationship.

How does "The Total Woman" address the topic of children and parenting?

• Acceptance and Love: Morgan emphasizes the importance of accepting and loving children unconditionally, similar to how one should accept their spouse.
• Fun and Engagement: She encourages parents to engage in fun activities and play with their children to build strong family bonds.
• Discipline with Love: Discipline is discussed as a necessary part of parenting, but it should be done with love and understanding.
• Spiritual Growth: Encouraging spiritual growth and providing a moral framework for children is also a key aspect of her parenting advice.

What are some criticisms of "The Total Woman"?

• Traditional Roles: Critics argue that the book reinforces outdated gender roles and places too much emphasis on women adapting to their husbands.
• Lack of Balance: Some readers feel that the advice lacks balance, focusing heavily on the wife's responsibilities while neglecting the husband's role in the marriage.
• Manipulative Tactics: The use of costumes and other tactics to please husbands has been criticized as manipulative rather than fostering genuine connection.
• Limited Perspective: The book's perspective may not resonate with modern readers who seek more egalitarian relationships.

What are the best quotes from "The Total Woman" and what do they mean?

• "A man can stand about anything, except boredom." This quote highlights the importance of keeping the marriage exciting and engaging for both partners.
• "Accept him, just as he is today." It underscores the book's central theme of acceptance as a foundation for a strong marriage.
• "Marriage is but a basketful of those little things." This emphasizes the significance of small gestures and daily interactions in building a lasting relationship.
• "Love never makes demands." It reflects the idea that true love involves unconditional acceptance and support, without expecting anything in return.

How does Marabel Morgan incorporate spirituality into "The Total Woman"?

• Relationship with God: Morgan suggests that a personal relationship with God can enhance one's ability to love and support their spouse.
• Biblical References: The book frequently references the Bible, using it as a guide for marital roles and responsibilities.
• Prayer and Faith: She encourages women to pray for their marriages and rely on faith to navigate challenges and strengthen their relationships.
• Moral Framework: Spirituality is presented as a foundation for personal growth and a moral framework for family life.

What impact has "The Total Woman" had since its publication?

• Cultural Influence: The book became a bestseller in the 1970s and sparked widespread discussion about traditional gender roles in marriage.
• Controversy: It has been both praised for its practical advice and criticized for its reinforcement of traditional roles, making it a polarizing work.
• Legacy: Despite mixed reviews, "The Total Woman" remains a reference point in discussions about marriage and gender dynamics.
• Continued Relevance: The book's themes continue to resonate with some readers, while others view it as a historical artifact reflecting past societal norms.