3 Vital Questions

1. Recognize the Problem Orientation and shift to a Creator Orientation

"There is a focus on problems, which turns on your anxiety, and that drives a reactive behavior."

Problem vs. Creator Orientation. The Problem Orientation is our default mindset, focusing on what's wrong and reacting with anxiety. This leads to a cycle of drama and ineffective solutions. In contrast, the Creator Orientation focuses on desired outcomes and responding thoughtfully.

Shifting perspectives. To make this shift:

• Identify when you're in a Problem Orientation
• Pause and reflect on the outcome you want
• Choose a response that aligns with your desired outcome

Benefits of the shift. By adopting a Creator Orientation, you:

• Reduce workplace drama
• Increase productivity and job satisfaction
• Improve relationships with colleagues and clients
• Develop more innovative and effective solutions

2. Transform workplace drama using the TED* framework

"Drama is the natural product of an environment rooted in the Problem Orientation, which we know is also the Victim Orientation."

Understanding the DDT. The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) consists of three roles:

• Victim: Feels powerless and seeks rescue
• Persecutor: Blames and criticizes
• Rescuer: Enables the Victim by trying to fix problems

Introducing TED.* The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) offers alternative roles:

• Creator: Takes responsibility for outcomes
• Challenger: Provokes growth and learning
• Coach: Supports and asks empowering questions

Making the shift. To move from DDT to TED*:

• Recognize when you're playing a DDT role
• Choose to adopt the corresponding TED* role
• Practice new behaviors that align with the TED* framework

3. Harness dynamic tension to create positive outcomes

"Dynamic tension is a universal tool for creating ... well, anything, frankly, and it has three main parts."

Components of dynamic tension:

1. Desired outcome: Clear vision of what you want to create
2. Current reality: Honest assessment of the present situation
3. Creative tension: The gap between outcome and reality

Leveraging the tension. Instead of reacting with anxiety to this gap:

• Hold steady to your desired outcome
• Acknowledge the truth of your current reality
• Take baby steps to move from reality towards the outcome

Applying the concept. Use dynamic tension in:

• Project planning
• Personal goal-setting
• Team development
• Problem-solving processes

4. Practice asking empowering questions to shift perspectives

"Coaches practice the mantra 'Ask first, tell second.'"

Power of questions. Asking the right questions can:

• Shift focus from problems to outcomes
• Encourage personal responsibility
• Promote creative thinking and problem-solving

Key questions to ask:

• "What outcome do you want to create?"
• "What's working well in the current situation?"
• "What small step can you take towards your goal?"

Developing a coaching mindset. To become an effective Coach:

• Listen actively without judgment
• Ask open-ended questions that promote reflection
• Resist the urge to provide solutions immediately

5. Develop a Creator mindset to overcome victim mentality

"The central role in the DDT is the role of Victim, Lucas. And here's a rule you can go by: anytime you find yourself complaining—whenever there is something you want or care about that you feel powerless to have, do, or be—then you know you're stuck in the Victim role."

Recognizing victimhood. Signs of a victim mentality include:

• Frequent complaining
• Feeling powerless to change situations
• Blaming others for problems

Shifting to Creator mindset. To become a Creator:

• Take responsibility for your choices and actions
• Focus on what you can control or influence
• Identify the outcomes you want to create

Benefits of the Creator mindset:

• Increased sense of personal empowerment
• Improved problem-solving skills
• Greater resilience in face of challenges

6. Embrace the roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach

"Just as all three roles in the DDT are Victim-oriented ... in TED*, the roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach are Creator-oriented."

Creator role. As a Creator:

• Focus on desired outcomes
• Take responsibility for your choices
• Engage in continuous learning and growth

Challenger role. As a Challenger:

• Provoke learning and growth in others
• Speak truth with compassion
• Challenge assumptions and limiting beliefs

Coach role. As a Coach:

• Ask empowering questions
• Support others in clarifying their goals
• Encourage action and accountability

7. Apply the 3 Vital Questions to personal and professional life

"The 3 Vital Questions are purely focused on dimension C—a dimension of work that has been missing in all too many change methodologies."

The 3 Vital Questions:

1. Where are you putting your focus?
2. How are you relating?
3. What actions are you taking?

Applying the questions. Use these questions to:

• Evaluate your current mindset and behavior
• Shift from problem-focus to outcome-focus
• Improve relationships and communication
• Guide decision-making and action planning

Benefits of consistent application:

• Reduced workplace drama
• Increased personal and professional effectiveness
• Improved team dynamics and collaboration

8. Use baby steps to make progress towards desired outcomes

"Every time you take a baby step, one of three things is bound to happen. One, you take the step and it results in forward progress that helps build momentum. Second, you may take a baby step that ends up being a mistake or a step back from your outcome. That's what I meant a few minutes ago, about taking a step backward. In that case, you'll want to see what that step back may tell you about how to move forward with your next baby step."

Power of small actions. Baby steps:

• Break down overwhelming goals into manageable tasks
• Build momentum and confidence
• Allow for course correction and learning

Identifying baby steps:

• Focus on immediate, actionable items
• Choose steps within your control
• Align each step with your desired outcome

Responding to setbacks. When a baby step doesn't work:

• Reflect on what you've learned
• Adjust your approach based on new information
• Take another small step forward

9. Foster a culture of empowerment and responsibility

"Everyone can lead in their area of contribution or expertise. One of the maxims I learned from Ted is, 'Every job can have either a trivial description or a noble one.'"

Creating an empowered workplace. To foster this culture:

• Encourage everyone to see themselves as leaders
• Promote the Creator Orientation at all levels
• Recognize and celebrate acts of personal responsibility

Benefits of an empowered culture:

• Increased employee engagement and satisfaction
• Improved problem-solving and innovation
• Enhanced team collaboration and performance

Leadership practices. To support this culture:

• Model Creator behavior as a leader
• Use coaching techniques to develop others
• Provide opportunities for growth and learning

Last updated: October 31, 2024