A Curious Mind

1. Curiosity: The Unexpected Key to Success and Happiness

More than intelligence or persistence or connections, curiosity has allowed me to live the life I wanted.

Curiosity's surprising power. Often overlooked compared to traits like intelligence or creativity, curiosity has been the most valuable quality in the author's life. It's not just about wanting to know facts; it's an energy and insight generator that infuses everything with possibility. For the author, a Hollywood producer, curiosity was the spark that led to his career and continues to drive his success and happiness.

A personal gift. From a young age, the author's grandmother nurtured his curiosity, treating every question as valuable. This early encouragement taught him to see himself as curious, a gift that proved more impactful than academic performance. This suggests that recognizing and valuing curiosity in oneself and others is a crucial first step to harnessing its power.

Beyond the obvious. Curiosity isn't just for scientists or journalists. It's a fundamental human drive, like hunger or thirst, that can be applied in any field. It's the desire to seek information, which manifests as asking questions. This simple act can unlock opportunities and lead to unexpected adventures, proving far more valuable than conventional talents or connections.

2. Curiosity is Your Secret Weapon in Any Situation

Curiosity has never let me down.

Unlocking opportunities. Curiosity can transform mundane tasks into extraordinary experiences. As a young legal clerk delivering documents in Hollywood, the author's curiosity led him to insist on meeting the powerful recipients in person. This simple gambit, driven by a desire to understand their world, opened doors to conversations with industry legends like Sue Mengers and Lew Wasserman, fundamentally changing his career path.

A mischievous edge. The author's curiosity is described as wide-eyed and sometimes mischievous, leading to interesting, even if occasionally troublesome, situations. This highlights that curiosity often involves stepping outside conventional boundaries and being willing to take small risks, like eavesdropping or bending rules slightly, to gain insight.

Beyond the surface. Curiosity allows you to see beyond the obvious job description or situation. The author didn't just deliver papers; he used the task as a pretext to learn about the people shaping the industry. This ability to find the interesting core in any situation makes life richer and reveals hidden opportunities that others might miss.

3. Use Curiosity to See the World Through Other People's Eyes

One of the most important ways I use curiosity every day is to see the world through other people’s eyes, to see the world in ways I might otherwise miss.

Disrupting your perspective. We are often trapped in our own way of thinking and seeing the world. For a storyteller, this parochialism is dangerous and boring. Curiosity, especially through intentional conversations with people from vastly different fields, is the tool to break free from this limited viewpoint and gain new perspectives.

A reservoir of understanding. The author's "curiosity conversations" with diverse individuals—from police chiefs and movie moguls to scientists and activists—build a deep reservoir of experiences and points of view. This understanding of how the world looks to others, even those with whom he fundamentally disagrees, is crucial for creating compelling and varied stories that resonate with a wide audience.

Strategic advantage. Seeing the world through others' eyes is not just for storytellers; it's a critical strategic tool in many professions.

• Doctors need to understand patients' symptoms from their perspective.
• Detectives need to anticipate criminals' actions.
• Business leaders need to understand customers and competitors.
  This ability to disrupt one's own point of view is essential for effective strategy, innovation, and connection.

4. Curiosity and Storytelling: Natural Allies

Storytelling is the act of bringing home the discoveries learned from curiosity.

The engine of narrative. Curiosity is the fundamental drive that pushes humans to explore, discover, and ask questions about the world and each other. Storytelling is the equally fundamental human act of sharing those discoveries. They are deeply intertwined, with curiosity fueling the search for stories and stories, in turn, sparking further curiosity in the listener or reader.

Making stories resonate. For a movie producer, curiosity is essential for finding compelling stories and understanding what makes them resonate. It's not just about plot; it's about the underlying themes, the characters' motivations, and the emotional core. Curiosity helps uncover these deeper layers, allowing stories about mermaids, astronauts, or gangsters to become tales of love, resourcefulness, or overcoming humiliation.

Shared knowledge. From the earliest human tribes, storytelling was vital for survival, sharing knowledge gained through curiosity (e.g., where to find water, what dangers to avoid). Today, this connection persists. Whether through a novel, a film, or a casual conversation, stories are how we share what we've learned, inspiring others' curiosity and contributing to collective understanding and progress.

5. Curiosity: Your Superpower Against Fear and Doubt

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

Facing anxieties. The author admits to common fears like public speaking, social settings, and interacting with powerful people. Curiosity acts as a powerful antidote to these anxieties. By focusing on asking questions and learning about the feared situation or person, the author distracts himself from the fear and gains knowledge that makes the situation less intimidating.

Building confidence. Asking questions, which might seem like admitting ignorance, actually builds confidence. It dispels confusion, clarifies uncertainty, and allows you to understand the landscape you're navigating. This confidence, gained through learning, fuels determination and ambition, helping you push past internal and external resistance ("no").

Grit and resilience. Curiosity, combined with persistence, helps you navigate setbacks and rejections. Instead of being defeated by a "no," curiosity prompts you to understand why the answer was no, allowing you to refine your approach or simply steel your resolve. This blend of curiosity, confidence, and determination is crucial for achieving ambitious goals, whether in Hollywood or any challenging field.

6. Cultivate Curiosity as a Habit and Discipline

For thirty-five years, I’ve been tracking down people about whom I was curious and asking if I could sit down with them for an hour.

Intentional practice. While some may be naturally curious, curiosity can also be cultivated as a conscious habit and discipline. The author made a deliberate effort to integrate curiosity into his routine, starting with meeting people in his industry daily and evolving into his structured "curiosity conversations" with individuals outside show business.

Systematizing serendipity. The curiosity conversations, conducted consistently over decades, are a form of "systematizing serendipity." They create a framework for encountering new ideas, perspectives, and connections that might not otherwise arise. This intentional exposure to diverse knowledge builds a rich internal archive that informs creative and business decisions years later.

Beyond instinct. Relying solely on spontaneous curiosity is limiting. Turning curiosity into a discipline means actively seeking out opportunities to learn, even when it's difficult or inconvenient. This requires patience, determination, and a willingness to put in the effort to arrange meetings, read widely, and engage deeply, transforming curiosity from a passive trait into an active force.

7. Every Conversation Can Be a Curiosity Conversation

In that sense, every conversation can be a curiosity conversation.

Connecting with others. Curiosity is the key to authentic human connection. Whether with colleagues, family, or strangers, asking genuine questions and truly listening to the answers fosters sincerity, compassion, and trust. This makes daily interactions more meaningful and strengthens relationships.

Managing with questions. As a manager, asking questions is a powerful tool. Instead of giving orders, asking questions like "Why should we do this movie?" or "What's your plan?" empowers individuals, elicits valuable information, and encourages people to take ownership of problems and solutions. This approach builds engagement and trust within a team.

Transmitting values. Asking questions subtly communicates values. Asking an executive if she "loves" a project reinforces the value of passion in their work. Asking a star if they can "be the leader" on set conveys trust and shared responsibility. Questions invite participation and collaboration, fostering a culture where diverse perspectives are welcomed and utilized.

8. Curiosity as a Powerful Management Tool

I’ve discovered that even when you’re in charge, you are often much more effective asking questions than giving orders.

Empowering the team. Managing by asking questions shifts the focus from hierarchical command to collaborative problem-solving. It signals that the leader values input and recognizes that the best ideas can come from anywhere. This approach is particularly effective in creative or complex environments where there isn't a single "right" answer.

Fostering ownership. When you ask someone for their plan or their perspective, you implicitly assign them responsibility and authority. This encourages individuals to think critically, develop solutions, and feel more invested in the outcome. It moves people from simply executing instructions to actively contributing their expertise and judgment.

Building a listening culture. A leader who asks questions and genuinely listens models this behavior for the entire organization. This creates a culture where open communication is valued, diverse viewpoints are sought, and people feel safe to share concerns or propose alternative approaches. This leads to better decision-making and a more dynamic, engaged workplace.

9. Know When to Use "Anti-Curiosity" to Protect Your Vision

Sometimes you need anti-curiosity.

Protecting conviction. While curiosity is vital for exploration, there are moments when you must resist further input, especially negative feedback. Once you have developed a strong conviction about an unconventional idea, excessive curiosity about why others say "no" can dilute your vision or persuade you out of something you deeply believe in.

Resisting negativity. Hollywood, and many other fields, are filled with skepticism and reasons why an idea won't work. Constantly absorbing these criticisms can erode confidence and momentum. Anti-curiosity is the deliberate choice to filter out negativity and doubt when you are already committed to a path, preserving the energy needed to push the idea forward.

Trusting your judgment. Anti-curiosity is not about being closed-minded; it's about protecting a fragile idea until it's strong enough to withstand scrutiny. It's based on the understanding that, especially with unconventional ideas, no one truly knows if it's "good" until it's realized. This requires trusting your own taste and judgment, developed through prior curiosity and experience, over the immediate doubts of others.

10. Curiosity Helps You Develop Good Taste and Judgment

And to develop that sense of taste—of personal style and experienced judgment—you also need curiosity.

Beyond mere opinion. Good taste is more than just liking something; it's an educated, experienced opinion about quality and value. It's the ability to judge music, art, movies, or ideas within a broader context. Developing this requires exposing yourself to a wide range of experiences and asking questions about them.

Informed assessment. Curiosity provides the framework for developing taste. By asking why something is considered good or important, understanding its history, and learning from experts, you build a foundation for informed judgment. This allows you to assess new ideas or works with a discerning eye, recognizing potential quality even in unconventional forms.

Confidence in judgment. The process of exploring, questioning, and learning from diverse sources builds confidence in your own assessments. This confidence is crucial for recognizing and pursuing interesting ideas, especially when they are met with skepticism. Your developed taste, fueled by curiosity, becomes a reliable filter for navigating possibilities and making choices that align with your vision.

11. Curiosity is Essential for Connection and Intimacy

And curiosity is the key to connecting and staying connected.

Sustaining relationships. Familiarity can be the enemy of curiosity in personal relationships. Over time, we may stop asking genuine questions of those closest to us, assuming we already know their thoughts and experiences. This silent erosion of curiosity can lead to disconnection and loneliness.

Reigniting intimacy. Bringing genuine curiosity back into relationships is a powerful way to restore energy and intimacy. Asking open-ended questions about a partner's day, feelings, or interests, and truly listening to the answers, shows respect and care. It creates moments of surprise and reminds you that even familiar people are constantly evolving.

Beyond the surface. Effective questions in relationships go beyond the superficial ("How was your day?"). They delve into feelings, reactions, and perspectives ("What did you think of...?", "How do you feel about...?"). This level of inquiry fosters deeper understanding and connection, ensuring that relationships remain vital and fulfilling.

12. Unleash Curiosity for a Bigger Life

Curiosity is a more exciting way to live in the world.

A state of mind. Curiosity is fundamentally a state of having an open mind and a receptivity to new information and experiences. It's an instinct that can be actively cultivated and applied in all areas of life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors and civic engagement.

Cumulative power. Curiosity is not a finite resource; the more you use it, the more it grows. Each question answered often leads to new questions, creating a virtuous cycle of learning and discovery. This cumulative effect builds a rich internal archive of knowledge, perspectives, and connections.

Accessible to all. Unlike innate talents, curiosity is available to everyone, regardless of background or education. It's a simple yet profound tool that requires only the willingness to ask questions and listen. By embracing curiosity, individuals can expand their understanding, build confidence, foster connections, and ultimately live a more adventurous, interesting, and fulfilling life.

Last updated: June 23, 2025