Acting with Power

1. Power is not personal; it exists in roles and relationships

Power is not an aspect of the self; it cannot be possessed by a person.

Power is contextual. Power stems from the degree to which others need you in a specific situation. It's not a fixed attribute or possession, but rather a dynamic force that ebbs and flows based on roles, relationships, and circumstances.

Power is relational. It exists as part of a social contract between people, where one party consents to be influenced or controlled by another. This consent can be withdrawn if the terms of the agreement are violated, leading to shifts in the balance of power.

• Power is not permanent
• Power corresponds to who adds more value in a context
• Power depends on the strength of your allies and options
• Feeling powerful does not equate to having power

2. Playing power up and down are essential skills for all roles

To use power well, we all need to master the art of playing a supporting role.

Versatility is key. The ability to both play power up (asserting control and command) and play power down (showing deference and connection) is crucial for navigating various social and professional situations effectively.

Contextual awareness matters. Knowing when to employ each approach depends on understanding the role you're in, the dynamics of the situation, and the needs of those around you. Playing power up can involve taking charge, setting boundaries, and demonstrating expertise. Playing power down might include active listening, asking for help, or elevating others.

• Playing power up: Speaking authoritatively, taking up space, setting boundaries
• Playing power down: Deferring to others, asking questions, acknowledging mistakes
• Both approaches can be used strategically to build trust and influence

3. Embrace fear and performance anxiety to act with power

Power changes everything.

Fear is normal. Stepping into positions of power often triggers performance anxiety and imposter syndrome. Rather than trying to eliminate these feelings, successful leaders learn to channel this nervous energy into positive action.

Preparation is key. Actors use various techniques to manage stage fright and deliver powerful performances. These same methods can be applied in professional settings:

• Physical warm-ups to release tension
• Mental rehearsal and visualization
• Focusing on others rather than self-consciousness
• Embracing the fear as a source of energy and motivation

4. Take roles seriously and align with the plot to use power effectively

To use power well, we need to stick to the plot.

Roles come with responsibilities. Understanding and embracing the responsibilities that come with your role is crucial for using power effectively. This means aligning your actions with the broader objectives of the group or organization you're part of.

Authenticity isn't always helpful. Instead of simply "being yourself," focus on integrity – bringing your unique perspective and strengths to the role while fulfilling its responsibilities. This may require:

• Adapting your behavior to fit the context
• Putting aside personal insecurities or habits that don't serve the role
• Committing fully to the part you're playing, even when it feels uncomfortable

5. Become an upstander to prevent abuses of power

Acting as an "ally" is another powerful way to play the upstander role.

Bystander intervention is crucial. Abuses of power persist when others remain silent. By actively intervening or speaking up, individuals can help create environments where misconduct is less likely to occur.

There are many ways to act. Becoming an upstander doesn't always require dramatic confrontation. Effective strategies include:

• Joining with others to create strength in numbers
• Using humor to diffuse tense situations
• Creating "penalty boxes" or temporary social consequences for bad behavior
• Building coalitions and organizing collective action
• Acting as an ally for those with less power

6. Recognize and address different types of power abusers

Abuses of power make headlines.

Understanding motivations helps. Power abusers often fall into distinct categories, each driven by different insecurities or needs:

• The Bully: Uses intimidation to maintain control
• The Megalomaniac: Seeks constant admiration and status
• The Don Juan: Uses sexual conquest as a form of validation

Prevention and intervention strategies:

• Recognize red flags early (e.g., not taking "no" for an answer)
• Maintain psychological distance from potential abusers
• Choose contexts carefully to avoid vulnerable situations
• Enforce clear boundaries
• Use nonverbal cues to signal disapproval of inappropriate behavior

7. Leaders must embody the standard of beneficence

Beneficence is treating power not just as a resource to accumulate or wield with impunity but as a resource to invest in other people.

Power comes with responsibility. Those in leadership positions have an ethical obligation to use their power for the benefit of others, not just for personal gain. This principle of beneficence should guide decision-making and behavior.

Leaders set the tone. How a leader uses power shapes the entire culture of an organization. Effective leaders:

• Articulate a clear vision and purpose
• Model the behavior they expect from others
• Create safe spaces for learning and growth
• Treat people with respect while acknowledging power differences
• Prioritize the welfare of those with less power
• Balance high standards with supportive guidance

Last updated: March 21, 2025