Key Takeaways
1. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, not a deficit or disorder
ADHD is a term that describes a way of being in the world. It is neither entirely a disorder nor entirely an asset. It is an array of traits specific to a unique kind of mind.
A different brain. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain develops and functions. It's characterized by differences in attention regulation, impulse control, and activity levels. However, these differences are not inherently negative or positive – they're simply variations in brain function.
Beyond stereotypes. ADHD manifests differently in everyone, and you don't have to exhibit stereotypical symptoms to have the condition. While some may struggle with hyperactivity or inattention, others might excel in areas requiring creativity, intuition, or hyperfocus. The key is understanding that ADHD brains are wired differently, not defectively.
Strengths and challenges. People with ADHD often have unique strengths, such as heightened creativity, empathy, and problem-solving skills. At the same time, they may face challenges in areas like organization, time management, and emotional regulation. Recognizing both the strengths and challenges is crucial for developing effective strategies to thrive with ADHD.
2. Women with ADHD face unique challenges in diagnosis and treatment
Girls and women slip through the cracks when it comes to ADHD diagnoses, oftentimes going undiagnosed or getting misdiagnosed, even though we're just as likely to have the condition as boys and men.
Gender bias in diagnosis. Women with ADHD are often overlooked or misdiagnosed due to gender biases in research and diagnostic criteria. The stereotype of ADHD as a "little boy's disorder" has led to a significant underdiagnosis of women and girls.
Unique symptom presentation. Women tend to exhibit ADHD symptoms differently than men:
- More likely to have inattentive type ADHD
- Internalize symptoms rather than act out
- Experience fluctuations in symptoms due to hormonal changes
- Struggle with additional challenges like perfectionism and low self-esteem
Importance of awareness. Recognizing these gender differences is crucial for proper diagnosis and treatment. Women with ADHD often benefit from:
- Seeking out ADHD-informed healthcare providers
- Connecting with other women who have ADHD
- Developing strategies tailored to their specific symptoms and challenges
3. ADHD traits can be transformed into superpowers
Creativity is just impulsivity gone right.
Reframing ADHD traits. Many characteristics associated with ADHD can be powerful assets when understood and channeled effectively:
- Hyperfocus can lead to exceptional productivity and innovation
- Impulsivity can fuel creativity and quick decision-making
- High energy levels can drive ambition and goal achievement
- Emotional sensitivity can enhance empathy and interpersonal skills
Embracing neurodiversity. Recognizing ADHD as a different way of thinking rather than a disorder allows individuals to tap into their unique strengths. This mindset shift can lead to increased self-acceptance and improved overall well-being.
Leveraging strengths. By identifying and nurturing their ADHD-related strengths, individuals can excel in various areas:
- Entrepreneurship and innovation
- Creative fields like art, writing, and design
- Problem-solving and out-of-the-box thinking
- Leadership roles that require quick adaptation and novel approaches
4. Discovering your values, strengths, and purpose is crucial for ADHD success
When you believe in where you're going and what you're doing, you won't feel as compelled to try to overthink. You can trust yourself and the outcome.
Self-discovery process. Understanding your core values, strengths, and purpose is essential for managing ADHD effectively. This process involves:
- Identifying personal values
- Recognizing character strengths
- Clarifying talents and skills
- Discovering passions
- Defining a sense of purpose
- Finding overlap between these elements
Alignment and motivation. When your actions align with your values, strengths, and purpose, you're more likely to:
- Stay focused and motivated
- Experience less overwhelm and anxiety
- Make decisions with confidence
- Find fulfillment in your personal and professional life
Practical application. Create an "Intelligence Report" – a document listing your values, strengths, skills, passions, and purpose. Use this as a reference when making decisions or setting goals to ensure alignment with your authentic self.
5. Emotional dysregulation and trauma are common ADHD comorbidities
Having ADHD means you have a greater tendency of developing certain comorbidities.
Understanding emotional dysregulation. People with ADHD often struggle with managing their emotions, experiencing:
- Intense emotional reactions
- Difficulty calming down after becoming upset
- Mood swings and irritability
- Heightened sensitivity to rejection (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)
ADHD and trauma. There's a complex relationship between ADHD and trauma:
- Childhood trauma can increase the likelihood of developing ADHD
- People with ADHD are more likely to have experienced trauma
- Trauma symptoms can mimic or exacerbate ADHD symptoms
Management strategies:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Mindfulness and meditation practices
- Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping)
- Building strong social connections
- Regular exercise and proper sleep hygiene
6. Practical strategies can help manage overthinking, overwhelm, and self-doubt
We do have a choice. There are workarounds to help limit overthinking, overwhelm, and self-doubt.
Combating overthinking:
- Question your thoughts and look for evidence
- Channel positive emotions
- Engage in creative activities
- Celebrate small accomplishments
- Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques
Managing overwhelm:
- Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps
- Use visual aids like analog clocks and timers
- Create challenges or games to make tasks more engaging
- Remove resistance to mundane tasks by simplifying or automating them
- Develop a wake-up plan to start the day on the right foot
Overcoming self-doubt:
- Recognize and challenge imposter syndrome thoughts
- Focus on your unique strengths and accomplishments
- Seek support from ADHD-informed therapists or coaches
- Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk
- Celebrate successes, no matter how small
7. ADHD impacts relationships, but awareness and communication are key
Simply becoming more aware of the ways in which our ADHD traits can impact or hurt our relationships can go a long way in helping us change our behavior or soften others' outlook on how we act.
Understanding relationship challenges. ADHD can affect relationships in various ways:
- Difficulty with attention and listening
- Impulsivity in communication and decision-making
- Struggles with organization and follow-through
- Emotional dysregulation and mood swings
Strategies for healthier relationships:
- Educate yourself and your partner about ADHD
- Openly communicate about challenges and needs
- Divide tasks based on individual strengths
- Create systems and routines that work for both partners
- Practice active listening and empathy
- Seek couples therapy or ADHD coaching when needed
Parenting with ADHD. ADHD parents face unique challenges but can also bring strengths to parenting:
- Creativity in problem-solving
- High energy and enthusiasm
- Empathy and understanding for neurodivergent children
- Ability to think outside the box in parenting approaches
8. Time management and planning require ADHD-specific approaches
Being yourself feels good and empowers you to explore new ideas, question conventional beliefs and systems, and challenge the status quo.
Understanding time blindness. Many people with ADHD struggle with:
- Estimating how long tasks will take
- Keeping track of passing time
- Planning and prioritizing activities
- Starting and completing tasks
Effective time management strategies:
- Use analog clocks and visual timers
- Break tasks into smaller, timed chunks (e.g., Pomodoro Technique)
- Create routines and habits to reduce decision fatigue
- Utilize reminders and alarms, especially on smartwatches
- Experiment with different planning methods (digital or physical)
Embracing ADHD-friendly planning:
- Plan backward from deadlines
- Visualize the end result to stay motivated
- Use color-coding and visual organization methods
- Build in buffer time for unexpected delays
- Celebrate progress and completion of tasks
9. Financial management for ADHD brains needs creative solutions
Finance, like time, is rooted in numbers, which are certain and limited—the absolute antithesis of how our random, unpredictable, and often creative ADHD brains work.
Common financial challenges:
- Impulsive spending
- Difficulty with budgeting and tracking expenses
- Procrastination on financial tasks
- Overwhelm when dealing with complex financial information
ADHD-friendly financial strategies:
- Automate bill payments and savings
- Use visual budgeting tools (e.g., envelope system)
- Set up separate accounts for different purposes
- Gamify saving and debt repayment
- Work with an ADHD-informed financial advisor
Harnessing ADHD strengths in finance:
- Creativity in finding alternative income streams
- Ability to hyperfocus on financial goals when motivated
- Out-of-the-box thinking for investment opportunities
- Entrepreneurial spirit for starting businesses
10. Exercise is a powerful tool for managing ADHD symptoms
Exercise works like a drug in my brain, reduces the unnecessary chatter in my mind, and calms my anxiety.
Benefits of exercise for ADHD:
- Increases dopamine and norepinephrine levels
- Improves executive function and focus
- Reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Enhances overall cognitive function and memory
Effective exercise strategies:
- Aim for at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity 4 times a week
- Engage in activities that require complex movements (e.g., martial arts, dance)
- Exercise outdoors when possible for added benefits
- Try high-intensity or extreme sports for an additional dopamine boost
- Make exercise social by joining group classes or finding a workout buddy
Incorporating movement into daily life:
- Take movement breaks throughout the day
- Use a standing desk or treadmill desk
- Practice "exercise snacking" (short bursts of activity)
- Choose active transportation when possible (e.g., biking, walking)
11. Nutrition and sleep play vital roles in ADHD brain function
Sleep: it's what we really need to feel organized, focused, calm, and sharp—and it's what we as ADHD women often struggle to get.
Nutrition for ADHD:
- Focus on balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates
- Consider incorporating omega-3 fatty acids and probiotics
- Be mindful of potential food sensitivities (e.g., gluten, dairy)
- Experiment with meal timing and intermittent fasting
- Stay hydrated throughout the day
Improving sleep with ADHD:
- Establish a consistent sleep schedule
- Create a relaxing bedtime routine
- Limit screen time before bed
- Keep the bedroom dark, quiet, and cool
- Consider using white noise or sleep apps
- Experiment with weighted blankets or other sensory tools
Addressing common ADHD sleep issues:
- Delayed sleep phase syndrome
- Difficulty falling asleep due to racing thoughts
- Restless leg syndrome
- Sleep apnea (more common in people with ADHD)
12. Learning differences often coexist with ADHD and require targeted strategies
Nearly half of all children with ADHD in the United States have a learning disability like dyslexia.
Common learning differences with ADHD:
- Dyslex
Last updated:
Review Summary
ADHD for Smart Ass Women receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 4.13/5. Many readers find it insightful and validating, praising its relatable anecdotes and practical advice. Some appreciate the positive framing of ADHD as a potential strength. However, critics note the author's privileged perspective, lack of academic rigor, and overemphasis on self-promotion. The book's accessibility and relevance vary depending on readers' personal experiences and stages in their ADHD journey. While some find it life-changing, others consider it basic or problematic in its approach.
Download PDF
Download EPUB
.epub
digital book format is ideal for reading ebooks on phones, tablets, and e-readers.