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Ask a Manager

Ask a Manager

How to Navigate Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Rest of Your Life at Work
by Alison Green 2018 304 pages
3.91
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Speak up and be direct in workplace conversations

"Speak up. That's often all that's needed—a conversation."

Clear communication is crucial. Many workplace issues stem from people hesitating to address problems directly. By speaking up calmly and professionally, you can often resolve issues before they escalate. This applies to various situations, such as:

  • Asking for a raise or promotion
  • Addressing concerns about workload or deadlines
  • Clarifying expectations with your manager
  • Discussing conflicts with coworkers

Timing and tone matter. Choose an appropriate time to have these conversations, and maintain a respectful, collaborative tone. Frame your concerns in terms of how they affect the work, rather than making personal accusations.

2. Maintain professional boundaries while being kind and empathetic

"You can be friendly with the people who work for you, but you can't be friends."

Balance is key. As a manager, it's important to be approachable and empathetic, but also maintain appropriate professional boundaries. This helps ensure fairness and avoid perceptions of favoritism.

Ways to maintain professional boundaries:

  • Limit personal conversations and socializing outside of work
  • Avoid sharing too much personal information
  • Treat all team members equally
  • Make decisions based on work performance, not personal relationships

Empathy enhances leadership. While maintaining boundaries, show genuine care for your employees' well-being and professional growth. This builds trust and respect without compromising your authority.

3. Address performance issues promptly and clearly

"The kindest thing you can do for your staff members is to be really clear with them."

Timeliness is crucial. Don't let performance issues fester. Address them as soon as you notice a pattern, providing specific examples and clear expectations for improvement.

Steps for addressing performance issues:

  1. Schedule a private meeting
  2. Clearly state the problem and its impact
  3. Provide specific examples
  4. Set clear expectations for improvement
  5. Offer support and resources
  6. Schedule follow-up meetings to track progress

Be direct but compassionate. While it's important to be clear about the issues, also express confidence in the employee's ability to improve and offer support in their efforts to do so.

4. Navigate difficult conversations with coworkers tactfully

"How you speak up is key."

Approach with empathy. When addressing issues with coworkers, start by considering their perspective. This helps you frame the conversation in a way that's less likely to put them on the defensive.

Strategies for difficult conversations:

  • Use "I" statements to express your concerns
  • Focus on specific behaviors, not personality traits
  • Offer solutions or ask for their input on resolving the issue
  • Choose a private setting for the conversation
  • Listen actively and be open to their perspective

Stay professional. Even if emotions run high, maintain a calm and professional demeanor. This helps keep the conversation productive and solution-oriented.

5. Handle interview situations with confidence and professionalism

"Your interviewer isn't doing you a favor. This is a business conversation."

Approach interviews as equals. Remember that you're there to assess the company and role as much as they're assessing you. This mindset helps you present yourself more confidently and ask important questions.

Interview tips:

  • Research the company thoroughly beforehand
  • Prepare specific examples of your skills and accomplishments
  • Ask thoughtful questions about the role and company culture
  • Be honest about your qualifications and expectations
  • Follow up with a thank-you note reiterating your interest

Handle unexpected situations gracefully. If faced with inappropriate questions or delays, respond professionally while standing your ground when necessary.

6. Manage team dynamics and conflicts effectively

"You're not obligated to answer just because they're asking."

Set clear expectations. Establish team norms for communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution. This proactive approach can prevent many issues from arising.

Strategies for managing team dynamics:

  • Encourage open communication
  • Address conflicts promptly and impartially
  • Recognize and celebrate team successes
  • Provide regular feedback to all team members
  • Foster a culture of mutual respect and support

Be a mediator when necessary. When conflicts do arise, listen to all sides impartially and guide the team towards a resolution that aligns with organizational goals.

7. Communicate clearly as a manager, even in tough situations

"Don't overthink it."

Be direct and timely. Whether delivering good news or bad, communicate clearly and promptly. Avoid sugarcoating or delaying difficult conversations, as this often makes the situation worse.

Guidelines for clear communication:

  • Be specific about expectations and consequences
  • Provide context for decisions
  • Offer opportunities for questions and clarification
  • Follow up in writing for important messages
  • Be consistent in your communication style

Practice active listening. Ensure your team feels heard by giving them your full attention and asking clarifying questions when needed.

8. Balance authority and approachability in leadership roles

"Your tone matters...a lot."

Lead with confidence. As a leader, your team looks to you for guidance and direction. Demonstrate confidence in your decisions while remaining open to input.

Ways to balance authority and approachability:

  • Maintain an open-door policy
  • Regularly solicit feedback from your team
  • Be transparent about decision-making processes
  • Admit when you're wrong or don't have all the answers
  • Recognize and appreciate your team's contributions

Adapt your style. Different situations and team members may require different leadership approaches. Be flexible in your style while maintaining consistency in your core values and expectations.

9. Address workplace behavior issues directly and fairly

"Addressing it directly and firmly will often increase the respect that yellers have for you."

Act promptly. When faced with inappropriate workplace behavior, address it immediately to prevent it from becoming a larger issue or affecting team morale.

Steps for addressing behavior issues:

  1. Document specific instances of the behavior
  2. Have a private conversation with the individual
  3. Clearly explain why the behavior is inappropriate
  4. Set clear expectations for future behavior
  5. Outline consequences for continued infractions
  6. Follow up to ensure improvement

Be consistent. Apply the same standards to all team members, regardless of their position or personal relationship with you. This fairness builds trust and respect within the team.

Last updated:

FAQ

What's Ask a Manager about?

  • Workplace Guidance: Ask a Manager by Alison Green offers practical advice for navigating workplace dilemmas, focusing on effective communication and conflict resolution.
  • Real-life Scenarios: The book is based on real questions from the author’s blog, providing relatable examples and solutions for common workplace issues.
  • Communication Focus: A central theme is the importance of straightforward conversations to resolve conflicts and improve workplace relationships.

Why should I read Ask a Manager?

  • Comprehensive Resource: It serves as a guide for anyone in the workforce, offering insights into common workplace challenges.
  • Practical Advice: Alison Green provides actionable advice that is easy to implement, enhancing professional interactions.
  • Empowerment: The book empowers readers to speak up about workplace issues, boosting confidence in handling difficult situations.

What are the key takeaways of Ask a Manager?

  • Speak Up: Emphasizes the importance of addressing workplace issues through conversation.
  • Be Direct and Tactful: Encourages a calm and matter-of-fact tone in discussions to reduce tension.
  • Understand Your Position: Highlights the importance of knowing your standing in the workplace hierarchy when addressing issues.

What are the best quotes from Ask a Manager and what do they mean?

  • “Most people are reasonable.” Suggests that coworkers and managers are open to feedback if approached correctly.
  • “Your tone and the way you frame the conversation will play a huge part in determining the outcome.” Highlights the importance of communication style.
  • “You have to decide: Are you willing to speak up and have the conversation?” Encourages weighing the importance of addressing issues against the discomfort of difficult conversations.

What specific advice does Ask a Manager offer for conversations with your boss?

  • Be Direct: Avoid overthinking or overly formal language to prevent unnecessary tension.
  • Frame from Their Perspective: Align your concerns with organizational priorities to gain your boss's support.
  • Request Feedback: Regularly ask for feedback to ensure you’re meeting expectations and fostering open communication.

How does Ask a Manager suggest handling difficult coworkers?

  • Address Issues Directly: Speak directly to coworkers about problematic behaviors using specific examples.
  • Use “I” Statements: Frame concerns with “I” statements to express how their behavior affects you, reducing defensiveness.
  • Set Boundaries: Emphasize the importance of setting clear boundaries regarding personal space and workload expectations.

What strategies does Ask a Manager provide for asking for a raise?

  • Prepare Your Case: Gather evidence of contributions and additional responsibilities since your last salary review.
  • Be Specific: Clearly state the amount you’re seeking and the reasons behind it to help your manager understand your request.
  • Timing Matters: Choose the right moment, such as after a successful project or during performance reviews, to ask for a raise.

How can I effectively deal with a coworker who interrupts me?

  • Address It Immediately: Politely state the need to focus on work when interrupted.
  • Set Clear Expectations: Have a direct conversation about the need for uninterrupted work time if interruptions continue.
  • Reinforce Boundaries: Consistently redirect conversations back to work when interruptions occur.

What should I do if my coworker is making judgmental comments about my food choices?

  • Speak Up: Directly ask the coworker to stop making comments, framing it as a request for respect.
  • Use Humor: Diffuse the situation with humor to set boundaries without creating tension.
  • Reinforce Positivity: Encourage a positive environment where everyone feels free to enjoy their food choices without judgment.

How does Ask a Manager recommend handling a coworker who is overly chatty?

  • Cut Off Conversations: Politely indicate the need to return to work when conversations become lengthy.
  • Address the Pattern: Discuss the need to limit chitchat during work hours to maintain productivity if the behavior continues.
  • Schedule Social Time: Propose specific times to catch up socially, balancing work and personal interactions.

What advice does Ask a Manager give for dealing with a coworker who is constantly late?

  • Address It Directly: Discuss the impact of their lateness on your work and team productivity.
  • Suggest Solutions: Offer solutions like adjusting meeting times or setting reminders to help manage their time better.
  • Reinforce Team Norms: Emphasize the importance of punctuality for team cohesion and productivity.

What specific methods does Ask a Manager recommend for handling difficult conversations?

  • Direct Approach: Use clear language to set the tone for the conversation, such as stating the need to discuss a bothersome issue.
  • Use of “I” Statements: Express feelings and concerns without sounding accusatory to prevent defensiveness.
  • Practice Active Listening: Listen to the other person’s perspective to foster understanding and effective resolutions.

Review Summary

3.91 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Ask a Manager receives mostly positive reviews for its practical workplace advice. Readers appreciate the straightforward guidance on handling difficult conversations and situations. Many find it useful for both employees and managers, especially those new to the workforce. Some criticize its focus on office environments and repetition of blog content. The book's scripts and example language are praised, while a few reviewers note its basic nature for regular blog readers. Overall, it's seen as a helpful resource for navigating workplace challenges.

Your rating:

About the Author

Alison Green is a workplace advice columnist and author known for her popular blog "Ask a Manager." She has been providing practical advice on workplace issues for over a decade. Green's expertise comes from her experience as a manager and her interactions with numerous readers seeking guidance. Her approach emphasizes direct communication, professionalism, and finding constructive solutions to workplace problems. Green's writing style is known for being clear, honest, and positive, offering readers actionable advice for various work-related situations. In addition to her blog and book, Green also hosts a podcast and contributes to other publications on workplace topics.

Other books by Alison Green

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