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Adulting

Adulting

How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps
by Kelly Williams Brown 2013 288 pages
3.7
14k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Adulthood: It's a Verb, Not a Noun

"Adult isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's the act of making correctly those small decisions that fill our day."

Adulthood is action-oriented. Being an adult means taking responsibility for your life and making conscious decisions that reflect maturity. It's not about age, but about behavior and mindset. Embrace the challenges and opportunities that come with growing up, and understand that everyone is figuring it out as they go along.

Small decisions matter. Focus on making good choices in your daily life, from managing your time effectively to treating others with respect. These seemingly minor actions accumulate to form the foundation of a responsible and fulfilling adult life. Remember, it's okay to make mistakes – what matters is learning from them and continually striving to improve.

2. Master the Art of Domesticity and Self-Care

"You can have nice things — if you treat them like they are, in fact, nice things."

Create a comfortable living space. Take pride in your home, regardless of its size or location. Learn basic cleaning and organizing skills to maintain a tidy environment. Invest time in understanding how to properly care for your belongings, from clothes to furniture.

Prioritize self-care. Develop healthy habits that contribute to your physical and mental well-being. This includes:

  • Regular exercise and a balanced diet
  • Adequate sleep and stress management
  • Personal hygiene and grooming
  • Regular health check-ups and preventive care

Remember that taking care of yourself and your surroundings is a fundamental aspect of adulthood and sets the stage for success in other areas of life.

3. Cultivate Financial Responsibility and Independence

"Wealth isn't that complicated: There's just one way to save money, which is to spend less than you earn."

Budget and save. Create a realistic budget that accounts for your income and expenses. Prioritize saving, even if it's just a small amount each month. Develop the habit of living below your means and avoiding unnecessary debt.

Financial literacy is crucial. Educate yourself about:

  • Basic investing principles
  • Tax responsibilities
  • Insurance needs
  • Retirement planning

Build an emergency fund. Aim to save 3-6 months of living expenses to handle unexpected financial challenges. This cushion provides peace of mind and financial stability.

4. Navigate Career Challenges with Professionalism

"Keep your head down and cook."

Focus on your work. Concentrate on performing your job to the best of your abilities. Avoid office drama and politics, instead channeling your energy into developing your skills and contributing value to your organization.

Build professional relationships. Network effectively by:

  • Attending industry events
  • Seeking mentorship opportunities
  • Collaborating with colleagues
  • Maintaining a strong work ethic

Continuous learning. Stay updated with industry trends and constantly seek opportunities to improve your knowledge and skills. This commitment to growth will make you a valuable asset in your career.

5. Build and Maintain Meaningful Relationships

"Friends can and should be there for each other, and sometimes one party needs a lot more support and love than the other."

Invest in friendships. Cultivate deep, meaningful relationships by being a good friend yourself. This involves:

  • Active listening
  • Showing empathy
  • Offering support during tough times
  • Celebrating successes together

Navigate romantic relationships. Approach love with maturity and respect. Communicate openly, set healthy boundaries, and understand that a successful relationship requires effort from both partners.

Learn to handle conflict. Develop skills to address disagreements and misunderstandings in a constructive manner. This applies to all types of relationships, from friendships to professional connections.

6. Develop Emotional Intelligence and Resilience

"You can't control the economy, or whether you're single, or when your cat decides to vomit neon orange tummy contents onto your white rug. [...] But there are lots of things you can control, and lots of decisions are up to you."

Focus on what you can control. Recognize that many aspects of life are beyond your influence. Instead, concentrate your energy on your own actions, reactions, and decisions.

Build resilience. Develop the ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. This involves:

  • Cultivating a growth mindset
  • Practicing self-compassion
  • Seeking support when needed
  • Learning from failures and disappointments

Emotional regulation. Work on understanding and managing your emotions effectively. This skill is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and navigating professional environments.

7. Establish Healthy Boundaries with Family

"You can't change your family, but you can change how you deal with them."

Redefine family relationships. As you grow into adulthood, work on establishing adult relationships with your family members. This may involve:

  • Setting clear boundaries
  • Communicating assertively
  • Balancing independence with familial responsibilities

Navigate family dynamics. Learn to handle family conflicts and expectations with maturity. Recognize that you can love your family while still maintaining your own identity and values.

Practice gratitude. Appreciate the positive aspects of your family relationships while acknowledging that no family is perfect. Focus on nurturing the connections that bring joy and support to your life.

8. Prioritize Personal Growth and Self-Improvement

"Intentions are nice, but ultimately intentions don't really matter because they only exist inside you."

Actions speak louder than intentions. Focus on turning your goals and aspirations into concrete actions. Develop habits that align with your values and long-term objectives.

Embrace lifelong learning. Cultivate curiosity and a desire for continuous improvement. This can involve:

  • Reading widely
  • Taking up new hobbies
  • Seeking out challenging experiences
  • Reflecting on your personal growth

Self-reflection and accountability. Regularly assess your progress and be honest with yourself about areas that need improvement. Take responsibility for your choices and their consequences, using setbacks as opportunities for growth.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.7 out of 5
Average of 14k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Adulting received mixed reviews, with readers appreciating its practical advice and humor but criticizing its narrow demographic focus. Many found it helpful for young adults transitioning to independence, covering topics like finances, relationships, and household management. However, some felt the advice was obvious or aimed at a privileged audience. The book's conversational tone and organization into steps were praised, though some found it simplistic. Overall, readers acknowledged its potential usefulness for recent graduates or those new to independent living.

Your rating:

About the Author

Kelly Williams Brown is the author of "Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps." Kelly Williams Brown gained recognition for coining the term "adulting" and offering practical advice to young adults. However, her personal life took a challenging turn after the book's success. A Vanity Fair article revealed her struggles with mental health and addiction, leading to a breakdown and recovery process. Despite these setbacks, Brown's work continues to resonate with readers seeking guidance on navigating adulthood. Her experiences highlight the complexities of life beyond the book's advice, emphasizing that personal growth and resilience are ongoing processes.

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