Bangkok Days

1. Bangkok: An Asylum for Westerners on the Lam

For someone with no career, with no prospects, permanently broke, it was the perfect asylum.

Seeking refuge. The author arrives in Bangkok, initially for cheap dental care, but finds it a haven for those escaping their past or failures in the West. It's a place for the "lamming," running away from conventional life, careers, and expectations. The low cost of living allows for a life of idleness and observation.

A chosen loneliness. Life in Bangkok, particularly in neighborhoods like Wang Lang, is characterized by a deliberate detachment from the pressures and social structures of home. The heat, the foreign script, and the cultural differences contribute to a sense of oblivion, a desired state for those who feel they can no longer be loved or fit in elsewhere.

Financial exile. The economic reality of the West, where even basic needs like healthcare are prohibitively expensive, drives some to seek permanent residence in places like Thailand. The clear-cut math of being "in pocket" becomes the primary rationale for temporary or even permanent exile, making the West seem unaffordable and undesirable.

2. The City's Erotic Juggling of East and West

In sex, the comedy of misunderstanding between East and West is what arouses Western men so much.

A culture of physicality. Bangkok offers a stark contrast to the physical isolation of Western life, providing a tactile environment where human touch is readily available through massage, therapy, and sex work. This physicality is a key draw for aging Westerners seeking to reconnect with their bodies and escape the sterility of home.

The sex trade. The city has quietly accepted its role as a provider of sexual services, a phenomenon seen as an inevitable outcome of the global economy. This trade is often characterized by a complex interplay of cultural expectations, economic necessity, and a "quick, knowing dance of perfectly intentional ignorance" between Western clients and Eastern providers.

Anonymity and fantasy. For both Western men and women, Bangkok offers anonymity that allows for the exploration of desires and fantasies often suppressed at home. Whether it's Japanese women seeking Caucasian partners or Western men engaging with local women, the foreign setting provides a space where conventional rules and judgments seem less applicable, making sex feel, paradoxically, more innocent or at least detached from emotional complexity.

3. Aimless Wandering as a Way of Life

To walk for the sake of walking—the most aimless thing of all—reminds us why the Masai cannot be servants: they are nomads.

Inquisitive loitering. The author embraces a life of "inquisitive loitering" and "selfless promenading" in Bangkok, particularly at night. The city's chaotic, non-linear topography, with its cul-de-sacs and hidden alleys, discourages purposeful direction and encourages a goat-like, ruminant existence focused on sensory experience rather than achievement.

Mapping the decay. Daily walks become a way to map the city's lesser-known areas, like the Mon canal or the Ban Mo canal, appreciating places that cannot consciously preserve their pasts. This decay is seen not as negative, but as a state in which one can "decay freely," finding a strange comfort in the city's inability to prettify itself.

Physical acclimatization. The act of walking for miles in the tropical heat leads to physical changes, like the feet changing shape. This physical adaptation mirrors a deeper disengagement from the habits and tastes of a lifetime, suggesting that immersing oneself in the city's environment, even through simple acts like walking and eating street food, can be a form of physical and psychological transformation.

4. Expats: A Tribe of the Broken and Disappointed

Broken, disappointed, rejected, they had headed east.

Shared predicament. The author encounters a cast of fellow expats at the Primrose Apartments and throughout the city – McGinnis, Dennis, Farlo, Felix. These men, often older, share a common background of disappointment, failure, or a desire to disappear from their former lives. They form a transient community, drawn together by their shared status as exiles.

Invented selves. Many expats in Bangkok engage in self-invention, creating new identities or exaggerating past achievements. This is facilitated by the city's lack of a rigid social structure and verification mechanisms. Examples include:

• McGinnis, possibly living on a stipend, claiming a refrigeration business and aristocratic connections.
• Farlo, a former soldier, running a struggling lodge in Cambodia and prospecting for tourists.
• Felix, a painter, living in a luxury hotel suite through a client deal and exaggerating his artistic success.

A hospital ward. The expat community can feel like a collection of mentally shattered people, marked by physical signs like shaking hands. Despite their individual eccentricities and often dubious pasts, they share a sense of being "lifers," committed to their exile, finding solace in the city's anonymity and the company of others who understand their predicament.

5. Thai Cosmology: Magic, Spirits, and Divine Kingship

If the society is presided over by an incarnation of Vishnu, then the whole society must be permeated by magic.

Divine monarchy. Thai society is deeply influenced by the concept of divine kingship (devaraja), where the king is seen as an incarnation of Vishnu. This imbues the entire society with a sense of magic and a cosmic hierarchy, distinct from Western political structures. The current king, Rama IX, is seen as one of nine incarnations, linking the monarchy to Hindu mythology.

Buddhism and animism. While Theravada Buddhism is the dominant religion, animism plays a significant role in daily life. Belief in spirits (phi), tree spirits (Lady Takian), and charms (kuman thong) is widespread, particularly among the working class. These beliefs connect the present to a supernatural past and influence everything from personal safety to lottery outcomes.

Undependable reality. The cosmology, with its emphasis on reincarnation, transient pleasure and pain (dukkha), and the fluid nature of godhead (Vishnu's multiple forms), fosters a view of reality that is "undependable, plastic, ever-shifting, mysterious." This contrasts with Western empirical views and may contribute to the city's acceptance of self-invention and its rapid, often chaotic, development.

6. The Rapidly Erasing Past of Bangkok

If Bangkok has renounced her past, physically destroying it in the process, it is the supernatural which holds her to it again.

Amnesia and demolition. Bangkok is characterized by a ruthless destruction of its physical past, driven by rapid modernization, capitalism, and ancient superstition (fear of haunted buildings). Canals are turned into expressways, old buildings are torn down, and the skyline changes constantly, creating a sense of historical amnesia.

Forgotten fragments. Despite the widespread demolition, fragments of the old city remain, often accidentally preserved in unexpected places like temple grounds, hospital compounds (Pyathai Palace), or hidden alleys. These remnants offer glimpses into earlier eras, such as the colonial period or the mid-20th century, contrasting sharply with the triumphant affluence of the new city.

Supernatural connection. While the physical past is erased, the supernatural realm keeps the city connected to its history. Shrines to ghosts like Mae Nak or spirits inhabiting trees are intensely passionate places that bend time backward, reminding people of the dead and a past that can only be accessed through faith and longing rather than physical preservation.

7. The Unseen City: Slums, Drugs, and Insurgency

The Muslim insurrection—because that's what it is—will have created a military junta in Bangkok and a widening war of atrocity in the south.

The class divide. Beyond the tourist zones and affluent neighborhoods lies a hidden city of slums, like Klong Tuey and Jet sip rai, often walled off and feared by the middle and upper classes. These areas are home to day laborers, slaughterhouse workers, and addicts, living in self-built shacks amidst trash and jungle.

Drugs and desperation. The slums are deeply affected by drug use, particularly yaa baa (methamphetamine) and sii qun roi (a mix including mosquito coil insecticide). These drugs are made and consumed within the community, fueling addiction and contributing to the area's reputation for danger and lawlessness.

Political undercurrents. Beneath the surface of pleasure and development, Thailand faces significant political instability and a growing insurgency in the Muslim-majority southern provinces. This conflict, marked by violence and ethnic cleansing, is seen by some expats as a threat to the country's secular, pleasure-loving identity and a potential catalyst for military coups and wider conflict.

8. Illness and Vulnerability in Exile

One more day alone in my house, he said, and I would have been dead.

Sudden vulnerability. Despite the sense of detachment and control sought in exile, the author experiences a life-threatening illness (epiglottitis) that highlights the fragility of the body and the vulnerability of being alone in a foreign country. The rapid onset of symptoms underscores how quickly life can change.

Hospital as resort. Bumrungrad Hospital, a large private facility, functions like a luxury resort, offering a menu of rooms and amenities. It attracts an international clientele seeking medical care, plastic surgery, or sex changes, often at lower costs than in the West. The experience blends medical treatment with pampering, creating a surreal environment.

Shared fate. Confined in the hospital, the author encounters other patients, like Fritzy, who are also dealing with illness and the prospect of death in a foreign land. The hospital becomes a microcosm of the expat experience, a place where individuals face their mortality, sometimes with bravado, sometimes with quiet despair, but always within the context of a unique, service-oriented environment.

9. The Search for Connection and Love

With a quick, mysterious tropism one loves every woman one fucks.

Desire and detachment. The author reflects on the complex relationship between sex and love in the context of Bangkok's sex trade. While conventional wisdom separates the two, the author suggests that even in transactional encounters, a form of love, however fleeting or unacknowledged, can arise, gnawing at the participants.

Loneliness and intimacy. Despite the availability of physical intimacy, expats often struggle with loneliness and the lack of deeper connection. The city's transient nature and the transactional aspects of relationships can make it difficult to form lasting bonds, leaving many, particularly older men, in a relentless quest for intimacy that often falls short.

Finding family. Some expats, like Father Joe, find a sense of family and purpose through their work with marginalized communities. Others, like the author, experience moments of connection with fellow exiles or locals, suggesting that even in a city of transient encounters, the fundamental human need for belonging and love persists, sometimes found in unexpected places or relationships.

10. The Enduring Power of Pleasure and Desire

We lust till we die, we concluded with some relief, and ordered Tuscan white bean soup.

Sanuk and hedonism. The Thai concept of sanuk (fun, pleasure) permeates the city, creating an atmosphere where enjoyment is seen as a duty. This aligns with the hedonistic pursuits of many Western expats, who seek escape from the perceived repression and dreariness of their home countries.

Pleasure in decay. The city's blend of decay and vibrant life, its smells, sounds, and visual chaos, stimulates the senses and stirs desire. Even in unexpected places like slaughterhouses or slums, moments of intense sensory experience can evoke a feeling of being alive, contrasting with the sterility of more orderly environments.

Defiance of age and fate. Despite aging, illness, and the awareness of mortality, the pursuit of pleasure and the expression of desire continue. Whether it's older expats seeking companionship or engaging in sex work, or patients in a hospital restaurant ordering drinks, the drive for enjoyment persists, offering a form of defiance against the inevitable decline and providing moments of relief and connection.

Last updated: July 8, 2025