Blessed Are the Misfits

1. Blessed Are the Misfits: You Belong As You Are

Jesus started listing the kinds of people who should be happy that the kingdom is what it is.

The kingdom is different. Jesus didn't choose the respected religious leaders or popular figures of His day; He chose an "odd assortment" of friends and followers. He declared that the spiritually bankrupt, the grieving, the humble, and those seeking justice are the ones who should be happy because God's kingdom operates in stark contrast to the world's system. This counter-cultural perspective means that feeling like an outsider in the world or even in conventional religious settings doesn't disqualify you.

It's not just you. Many people feel too analytical, too logical, too introverted, or simply too "weird" for God or for typical church culture. The author shares his own experiences as an introvert with Asperger's syndrome, feeling perpetually "spiritually dry" and unable to connect emotionally in the ways others seemed to. This sense of being "amiss" is common among those who don't fit the mold of expressive, extroverted faith.

You are included. Jesus' message is one of inclusion for those who feel they don't measure up or fit in. The very things that make you feel like a misfit – your doubts, anxieties, lack of emotional fervor, or analytical nature – are not barriers to God's love or presence. The good news is that you are already an insider, just as you are, right where you are, with all your perceived flaws.

2. Feelings Are Not the Measure of God's Presence or Love

Our feelings have nothing to do with whether God loves us or is still involved in our lives.

Feelings are unreliable. Many believers experience periods, or even a lifetime, of not feeling God's presence, leading to guilt and the fear that God has left them. However, the Bible provides no basis for the idea that feeling God's presence is a prerequisite for His involvement or love. Relying solely on emotions for spiritual validation can lead to idolatry, mistaking fleeting feelings for the unchanging reality of God Himself.

Faithfulness over fervor. The author points to figures like Mother Teresa, who experienced decades of spiritual dryness yet remained a faithful and outspoken missionary. Her commitment and service were expressions of real love, independent of emotional reward. God prioritizes obedience, faithfulness, mercy, justice, and compassion over emotional displays or religious résumés.

Biblical examples. Scripture shows that God's communication is often not audible or spectacular. Figures like Abraham and Isaac went decades between hearing God's voice, and there were centuries of apparent "silence" between the Old and New Testaments. Expecting constant emotional highs or audible guidance is not the biblical norm and can lead misfits to feel less loved or spiritual than they are.

3. God Desires Honest Conversation, Even Imperfect Prayer

Jesus says, “Here’s how to pray . . .” and He then prays for about twenty-five seconds. And then quits!

Prayer doesn't need to be perfect. Many struggle with prayer, feeling distracted, inadequate, or unsure if God is listening. The author, admitting his own struggles with a wandering mind during prayer, finds comfort in Jesus' model: the Lord's Prayer is incredibly short, suggesting God understands our limitations and doesn't require lengthy, eloquent petitions. A brief, even fumbling prayer, is infinitely better than none.

It's about relationship. Prayer is not a magical incantation or a way to change God's mind about His overall purpose, but a means of communicating with a real Person. It acknowledges our dependence on God and is an act of genuine worship, even when difficult. Prayer also changes us, helping with perspective and aligning our hearts with God's will.

God wants to be pestered. Contrary to the idea that God already knows everything and doesn't need our requests, Jesus tells a parable about a persistent widow who bothers an unjust judge until she gets justice. Jesus explicitly states this story is "to show that they should always pray and never give up." This suggests God, unlike the judge, wants us to come to Him repeatedly, even to "hassle" Him, revealing a God who desires intimate, honest conversation about what truly occupies our minds and hearts.

4. True Faith Embraces Ongoing Struggle, Not Perfection

Paul didn't write, “I used to be a really bad guy, but now I'm a good guy.” He was saying, “I am the worst,” present tense.

Struggle is evidence of work. Many feel like spiritual failures because they continue to struggle with sin or temptation. However, the ongoing struggle itself is not a sign of failure but evidence that God is still working in you. The Bible is full of examples of faithful people, like Paul, who openly admitted their present struggles and imperfections.

Setbacks are not final. Falling into a ditch after riding a bike for two hundred miles doesn't mean you have to go back to the start; you get back up and keep going. Similarly, setbacks in the Christian life are not permanent definitions of who you are. They are opportunities to learn, grow stronger, and demonstrate faithfulness by trying again.

Evil offers shortcuts. Temptation often presents itself as an easier alternative to the struggle required for real connection and growth. Whether it's opting for virtual relationships over real ones or seeking artificial highs, evil offers substitutes that feel like the real thing but lack substance and demand no effort. Resisting these shortcuts and embracing the struggle is essential for becoming the person God intends you to be.

5. Christian Community is Essential, Despite Its Flaws

If churches are really just businesses, well, no problem. Move on. Make another consumer choice. But families don't just move on.

You need others. Humans are masters of self-justification and can easily construct narratives where they are always the good person or the victim when left in isolation. Christian community provides the necessary external perspective, wise counsel, and loving correction to challenge our self-deception and spur us toward growth. Books and solitary reflection are valuable but cannot replicate the transformative power of real human relationships.

It's messy, by design. Church is made up of imperfect people, leading to inevitable conflicts, disappointments, and awkwardness. However, Jesus envisioned His followers as a family, committed to one another, practicing mutual forgiveness and unity. This unity, despite incompatibility and flaws, is a powerful witness to the world and a core aspect of following Christ.

You are needed. Isolating yourself from Christian community not only deprives you of necessary support and challenge but also robs others of the unique gifts and perspectives God has given you. Everyone, regardless of how they perceive their own value or social skills, has something to contribute to the body of Christ. Engaging in community, even when uncomfortable, is an act of obedience and love for others.

6. God Uses the Humble and Unnoticed, Not Just the Prominent

Yes, God is at work, but if the Bible is any indication of how He actually operates, He’s at work on the margins, not on the stages.

God's favorites are different. Contrary to worldly values that celebrate the bold, excellent, and influential, the Bible repeatedly shows God favoring the humble, the weak, and the despised. He chose Bronze Age camel herders, unimpressive shepherd boys, eighty-year-olds, and women with terrible reputations to carry out His purposes. This isn't because they were secretly impressive, but precisely because their weakness highlighted His power.

The spotlight is dangerous. The author notes the prevalence of celebrity culture and self-promotion within some Christian circles, contrasting it with Jesus' command against seeking titles or elevated status. While human nature craves significance and attention, God's work often happens quietly, in unexpected places, through people the world overlooks.

You are qualified. If you feel like a misfit, unnoticed, or lacking the qualities the world (or even some church cultures) deems necessary for significance, you are exactly the kind of person God tends to use. Your perceived lack of influence, charisma, or conventional success doesn't disqualify you; it aligns you with the pattern of those God has historically chosen to demonstrate His power and grace.

7. Loneliness is Real, But God Sees and Remembers You

Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

Loneliness is an epidemic. Counseling professionals report that loneliness is the underlying reason for a vast majority of people seeking help, affecting even celebrities admired by millions. This pervasive sense of isolation is a powerful, often unacknowledged, human experience.

God sees the lonely. The story of Hagar, an abandoned slave girl in the desert, reveals God's heart for the lonely. The "Angel of the Lord" appears to her, hearing her cries and revealing Himself as "The God Who Sees Me." This biblical account, and modern stories like that of Amira, an Egyptian girl abandoned at an orphanage, demonstrate God's active awareness and compassion for those who feel forgotten.

A promise of presence. The most repeated promise in the Bible is "I will be with you." God knows we will experience loneliness, especially during the "together, yet apart" period of waiting for His full kingdom. This promise serves as a constant reminder that even when we feel most alone, He has not forgotten us and is present with us in our yearning.

8. Skepticism Can Lead You Back to Jesus

If there is no purpose for this universe, there is no purpose for any of us. That’s the cold, hard truth.

Questioning is natural. For those prone to doubt and skepticism, walking away from faith can seem like a logical response to the hypocrisy and flaws observed in religious institutions and people. However, the author, a self-proclaimed skeptic, challenges the intellectual consistency of the alternatives.

The "So what?" of atheism. If the universe is merely the result of "blind, pitiless indifference" with no inherent good or evil, as some atheists claim, then where do moral standards come from? The author finds it inconsistent for those who deny objective purpose to simultaneously condemn actions as morally repugnant. The atheist position, when followed to its logical conclusion, leads to a nihilistic "So what?" that doesn't align with the human sense of right and wrong.

Jesus addresses the issues. Unlike philosophies that fail to provide a satisfying answer to the problem of human selfishness and brutality, Jesus is the one figure who both acknowledges the reality of sin and offers a solution. He directly challenged the hypocrisy and power structures that skeptics often find repulsive in religion. For those who question, Jesus remains the most compelling figure who offers words of life and a coherent explanation for the human condition and the longing for something more.

9. Wounds Can Become Sources of Healing

When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.

Everyone is wounded. Life inevitably brings hurts, whether physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. The author shares deeply personal stories of childhood trauma and family brokenness, acknowledging the lasting impact of these experiences. The key question is not how to hide our wounds, but how to use them in service to others.

Healing is possible. While wounds are real and can leave lasting scars, healing is also real. This doesn't always mean the complete removal of the struggle, but a transformation in how we relate to our past and present difficulties. Forgiveness, both of others and ourselves, is essential for moving from being defined by our hurts to becoming "wounded healers" who can empathize with and minister to others.

God specializes in brokenness. The author reflects on God's ability to make something beautiful out of brokenness, like a master chef creating a gourmet meal from odd ingredients. God doesn't shy away from our mess; He works with it. The story of Jesus healing the man born blind, not because of sin, but "so the power of God could be seen in him," suggests that our very weaknesses and struggles can become the means through which God's glory is revealed.

10. Commitment, Not Just Options, Leads to Meaning

You can always keep your options open, but don’t expect to have any great stories to tell.

The illusion of freedom. Introverts, and many others, often desire to keep options open and avoid situations that feel confining or require deep commitment, preferring the path of least resistance. However, constantly seeking an escape route or refusing to commit, whether to people, a cause, or God, ultimately leads to isolation and a lack of profound experiences.

Freedom through surrender. True freedom and the richest experiences in life often come from surrendering our perceived freedom by making commitments. Marriage, for example, involves cutting off other romantic options but opens the door to the unique depth and beauty of a lifelong partnership. Similarly, committing to a community or a cause, despite the inevitable difficulties, allows us to be part of something larger and more meaningful than ourselves.

Sticking it out matters. Deciding means "to cut off." While our culture celebrates having endless choices, real poetry and great stories are born from faithfulness and perseverance, especially when things are difficult and messy. Refusing to "break up" with people or abandon a commitment when it gets hard is evidence of life and the working of grace, leading to deeper connection and purpose.

11. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously; Embrace Silliness

Silliness is considered a vice by most, but in fact, it’s the most underrated of virtues.

The lie of solemnity. In many religious circles, seriousness is equated with spirituality, while silliness is dismissed as inappropriate or foolish. This cultural norm encourages taking ourselves very seriously, which can be detrimental. The author argues that seeing the inherent silliness in ourselves and the world is actually a virtue.

Humility and laughter. Recognizing our nature as "walking piles of dust" and the absurdity of our human condition provides ample reason for humility and laughter. It's difficult to be deeply depressed and genuinely grateful or amused at the same time. Embracing silliness and not taking ourselves too seriously can be a powerful antidote to self-absorption and despair.

Joy in perspective. Knowing the ultimate outcome of the story – that God wins and will restore all things – allows for a lightheartedness even amidst present struggles. Like watching a recorded game where you know your team wins, the anxiety is lessened, and you can even laugh at the fumbles. Jesus-followers, knowing the end of the story, have reason to be the most joyful and even the most silly people, setting the pace for a world that desperately needs it.

12. The Kingdom Belongs to the Unexpected Royalty

After shining shoes, I got to stand along the red carpet and hoot and holler for each announced guest.

God's upside-down kingdom. The world celebrates celebrities, influencers, and those with power and status. However, Jesus consistently overturned these values, declaring that the last will be first and the humble will be exalted. The author finds typical Christian award shows and conferences, which mirror worldly celebrity culture, baffling and potentially dangerous for those involved.

Royalty among misfits. The "Night to Shine" event, where people with special needs are celebrated as kings and queens, perfectly illustrates God's perspective. These individuals, often overlooked or marginalized by society, are treated with honor and dignity, reflecting how God sees and values those the world deems unimportant. This event feels "Christian" in a way that celebrity-focused events often do not.

God's chosen are often unnoticed. The Bible is filled with examples of God choosing the least likely candidates – the poor, the despised, the weak, the unimpressive – to accomplish His greatest work. He opposes the proud and favors the humble. If you feel like a misfit, unnoticed, or lacking the qualities the world values, you are precisely the kind of person God delights in using, often in ways that go unseen by the world's standards but are profoundly impactful in His kingdom.

Last updated: June 1, 2025