Born Again This Way

1. Unexpected Journey: From Atheism to Christianity

A simple, terrifying, holy exchange. All I had to do was reach out and take it.

Conversion experience. Rachel Gilson's journey from atheism to Christianity was unexpected and transformative. As a Yale student, she stumbled upon C.S. Lewis's "Mere Christianity" and was confronted with the reality of God's existence and Jesus Christ's sacrificial love. This encounter led to a profound shift in her worldview and identity.

Challenges and growth. Gilson's newfound faith presented immediate challenges, particularly regarding her same-sex attraction. She grappled with reconciling her sexuality with her Christian beliefs, a process that involved:

• Studying Scripture to understand God's design for sexuality
• Seeking support from Christian friends and mentors
• Learning to trust in God's goodness and wisdom, even when it conflicted with her desires

2. God's Design for Sexuality: Diversity, Life, and Love

Marriage is a metaphor for non-interchangeable entities in an intimate relationship: Jesus Christ and his church.

Biblical perspective on sexuality. God's design for sexuality encompasses three main blessings:

1. Diversity: The creation of male and female reflects God's image and promotes unity in difference.
2. Life: Sexual union within marriage has the potential to create new life, mirroring God's creative power.
3. Love: Marriage serves as a metaphor for Christ's relationship with the Church, demonstrating sacrificial love and commitment.

Challenging cultural narratives. This biblical view challenges contemporary ideas about sexuality by:

• Emphasizing the purpose of sex beyond personal fulfillment
• Highlighting the significance of male-female complementarity in marriage
• Presenting a vision of love that transcends romantic feelings

3. Battling Same-Sex Attraction: A Christian Perspective

We obey him, not our sinful desires. They are strong, but he is stronger.

Understanding temptation. Same-sex attraction is viewed as a temptation to sin, not a sin itself. Christians experiencing these attractions are called to:

• Recognize the reality of their desires without acting on them
• Trust in God's power to overcome temptation
• Focus on growing in holiness rather than attempting to become heterosexual

Practical strategies:

• Cultivate a deep relationship with Jesus through prayer and Bible study
• Seek accountability and support from trusted Christian friends
• Develop a biblical understanding of identity rooted in Christ, not sexuality

4. The Power of Christian Community for Same-Sex Attracted Believers

We are not alone. The eunuch would have felt among the least in the time of the old covenant—the incomplete, the forgotten. But God saw him and called him in his singleness.

Importance of community. Christian community plays a crucial role in supporting same-sex attracted believers by:

• Providing a sense of belonging and family
• Offering opportunities for meaningful relationships and service
• Creating a safe space for vulnerability and growth

Challenges and opportunities:

• Navigating close friendships while maintaining appropriate boundaries
• Learning to give and receive love within the context of spiritual family
• Embracing diverse experiences and perspectives within the church

5. Marriage and Singleness: Unexpected Paths for Same-Sex Attracted Christians

Marriage is not promised or preferred. It can't make you straight nor prove that you're committed. It's not the prize for faithfulness, nor the source. Jesus Christ is the prize.

Reframing expectations. Both marriage and singleness can be valid paths for same-sex attracted Christians:

• Marriage to an opposite-sex partner is possible for some, but should not be seen as a "cure" for same-sex attraction
• Singleness can be embraced as a meaningful and fulfilling lifestyle, focused on serving God and others

Key considerations:

• The decision to marry or remain single should be guided by prayer, wise counsel, and a desire to honor God
• Both paths require trust in God's goodness and provision
• The ultimate goal is not finding a spouse, but growing in Christ-likeness

6. Navigating Relationships: Same-Sex Attracted Christians and Their Partners

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Communication and trust. For couples where one partner experiences same-sex attraction, open and honest communication is crucial:

• Discuss expectations, fears, and hopes openly
• Seek God's wisdom and guidance together
• Be willing to address challenges as they arise

Practical advice:

• Focus on building a strong friendship and shared faith
• Don't assume same-sex attraction is always the root of relationship issues
• Seek support from mature Christians and professional counselors when needed

7. Identity in Christ: Beyond Sexual Orientation Labels

We don't need to become Jews, or straight, to enter into the family of God. By faith, we have full access to forgiveness, acceptance, and transformation into the likeness of Christ.

Redefining identity. Christians are called to find their primary identity in Christ, not in their sexual orientation:

• Recognize that sexual attractions, while real, do not define a person's core identity
• Embrace the freedom to describe experiences of same-sex attraction without adopting limiting labels
• Focus on growing in Christ-likeness rather than conforming to cultural expectations

Practical applications:

• Use language that prioritizes one's identity in Christ (e.g., "Christian who experiences same-sex attraction" rather than "gay Christian")
• Engage with others based on shared humanity and faith, not sexual orientation
• Seek to understand and empathize with diverse experiences while maintaining biblical convictions

Last updated: August 12, 2024