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A Change of Affection

A Change of Affection

A Gay Man's Incredible Story of Redemption
by Becket Cook 2019 224 pages
4.52
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. The Power of Unexpected Encounters: A Gay Man's Journey to Faith

What I heard in that sermon would completely transform my understanding of who I am, where I came from, where I'm headed, my purpose in the world, and ultimately, who God is.

Divine intervention. Becket Cook's encounter with Christianity at a coffee shop in Los Angeles led to a life-altering experience. Despite his initial skepticism, he attended a church service where he felt an overwhelming presence of God. This unexpected event shattered his preconceptions about faith and sexuality.

Radical transformation. Cook's conversion experience was marked by:

  • An intense emotional and spiritual awakening
  • A newfound understanding of the Bible and Christian teachings
  • A complete shift in his worldview and identity

His journey from a successful, gay Hollywood set designer to a committed Christian demonstrates the transformative power of faith and the unexpected ways in which spiritual encounters can reshape one's life.

2. Confronting Identity: Sexuality vs. Faith in Christ

My identity is no longer in my sexuality but in Christ.

Redefining self. Cook's conversion challenged his long-held identity as a gay man. He grappled with the conflict between his sexual orientation and his newfound faith, ultimately choosing to prioritize his identity in Christ over his sexuality.

Identity shift. This transformation involved:

  • Letting go of his former lifestyle and relationships
  • Embracing a new community of believers
  • Reorienting his life goals and pursuits around his faith

Cook's experience highlights the profound impact of faith on personal identity and the difficult choices individuals may face when their sexual orientation conflicts with their religious beliefs.

3. The Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction: Nature, Nurture, or Choice?

The simple answer is, nobody knows.

Complex origins. Cook explores the ongoing debate about the causes of homosexuality, drawing from his personal experience and scientific research. He acknowledges that the origins of same-sex attraction are likely multifaceted and not fully understood.

Factors considered:

  • Genetic predisposition
  • Environmental influences
  • Hormonal factors
  • Personal experiences and trauma

While Cook doesn't claim to have definitive answers, he emphasizes that regardless of its origins, same-sex attraction can be a significant struggle for those seeking to live according to biblical teachings.

4. Redefining Happiness: Joy in Christ vs. Worldly Pleasure

I have a permanent layer of joy in my gut that is impenetrable and indestructible.

Spiritual fulfillment. Cook contrasts the fleeting happiness he experienced in his former life with the lasting joy he found in his relationship with Christ. He argues that true contentment comes from aligning one's life with God's will, rather than pursuing worldly pleasures.

Shift in perspective:

  • From seeking fulfillment in relationships and career success
  • To finding purpose and satisfaction in faith and obedience to God

Cook's experience challenges the cultural narrative that equates happiness with personal freedom and self-expression, proposing instead that true joy comes from submission to a higher purpose.

5. Cultural Pressures and Biblical Truth: Standing Firm in Faith

We are either giving in to the pressure of the world or giving in to the pressure of the Word.

Resisting conformity. Cook addresses the increasing cultural pressure to affirm LGBTQ+ identities and lifestyles, even within Christian circles. He argues for the importance of adhering to biblical teachings despite societal trends.

Challenges faced:

  • Social ostracism and accusations of bigotry
  • Pressure to reinterpret or disregard biblical passages on sexuality
  • The temptation to compromise beliefs for social acceptance

Cook's stance emphasizes the importance of grounding one's beliefs in Scripture rather than cultural norms, even when it leads to conflict or misunderstanding.

6. The Cost of Discipleship: Sacrificing Worldly Desires for Eternal Reward

I obey because I am accepted through Christ by God.

Sacrificial obedience. Cook discusses the challenges of living a celibate life as a same-sex attracted Christian. He frames this choice as part of the broader call to discipleship and self-denial that Jesus requires of all followers.

Motivations for obedience:

  • Gratitude for God's love and grace
  • Desire for eternal rewards over temporary pleasures
  • Conviction that God's design for sexuality is best

Cook's perspective challenges both LGBTQ+ affirming theologies and the notion that celibacy is an unreasonable expectation, presenting it instead as a worthwhile sacrifice for those committed to following Christ.

7. Loving the LGBTQ+ Community While Upholding Biblical Truth

It's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge, and my job to love.

Compassionate conviction. Cook advocates for a balanced approach in engaging with LGBTQ+ individuals, emphasizing the need for love and understanding while maintaining biblical teachings on sexuality.

Recommended approach:

  • Listen and empathize with individuals' experiences
  • Share personal testimonies of faith and transformation
  • Avoid harsh judgment or coercion
  • Provide support and community for those struggling with same-sex attraction

Cook's unique perspective as a former gay man turned Christian offers insights into bridging the gap between the LGBTQ+ community and conservative Christian beliefs, emphasizing love and truth in equal measure.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.52 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

A Change of Affection receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising Cook's powerful testimony and love for Jesus. Many find his story inspiring and appreciate his biblical approach to homosexuality. Some criticize the book as homophobic, arguing it may negatively influence LGBTQ+ individuals. Critics also question the theological basis and historical context of Cook's arguments. Overall, readers value the book's message of faith, transformation, and the pursuit of a Christ-centered identity over sexual orientation.

Your rating:

About the Author

Becket Cook is a Texas-born writer and production designer who pursued a career in Los Angeles, working for high-profile magazines and brands. After experiencing a dramatic conversion to Christianity, Cook shifted his focus to ministry. He obtained a master's degree from Talbot School of Theology at Biola University and now dedicates much of his time to speaking at churches, universities, and conferences. Cook's background in the entertainment industry and his personal journey of faith inform his perspective on topics related to Christianity and sexuality.

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