Broken Circle

1. Loss of Innocence: The Traumatic Impact of Residential Schools

From this point on, my life would not be my own.

Early Exposure to Abuse. Theodore Fontaine's memoir vividly portrays the abrupt end to his childhood innocence upon entering the Fort Alexander Indian Residential School. At just seven years old, he was thrust into a world of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, marking the beginning of a 12-year ordeal that would profoundly shape his life. The loss of security and the introduction to fear and violence are central themes.

Specific examples of abuse:

• Weekly "ménage" rituals involving the washing of genitals by a priest
• Physical assaults, such as being struck across the face by a supervisor
• Emotional manipulation and the suppression of natural emotions

Theft of Childhood. The residential school system robbed children of their right to a safe and nurturing environment, replacing it with a regime of control, punishment, and dehumanization. This early trauma had lasting consequences on Fontaine's ability to form healthy relationships and trust authority figures.

2. Cultural Erasure: The Systematic Suppression of Indigenous Identity

The system was designed by the federal government to eliminate First Nations people from the face of our land and country, to rob the world of a people simply because our values and beliefs did not fit theirs.

Forced Assimilation. A core objective of the residential school system was to eradicate Indigenous culture and assimilate children into white society. This involved suppressing their language, spiritual practices, and traditional ways of life. Fontaine recounts how speaking Ojibway was forbidden and punished, leading to a sense of shame and alienation from his heritage.

Methods of Cultural Suppression:

• Prohibition of Indigenous languages
• Forced adoption of Christian beliefs and practices
• Denigration of Indigenous customs and traditions

Internalized Racism. The constant message that Indigenous culture was inferior led to internalized racism among many students, including Fontaine. This created a deep sense of self-loathing and a struggle to reconcile their Indigenous identity with the values of the dominant culture.

3. The Cycle of Abandonment: Shattered Trust and Intergenerational Trauma

Thus were born the abandonment issues I would struggle with for years henceforth.

Initial Separation. Fontaine's account of being left at the residential school by his parents is particularly poignant, highlighting the devastating impact of forced separation on young children. This experience shattered his trust in his parents and instilled a deep-seated fear of abandonment that would haunt him for years to come.

Consequences of Abandonment:

• Difficulty forming secure attachments
• Fear of intimacy and vulnerability
• Tendency to push people away

Intergenerational Impact. The trauma of residential schools has had a profound impact on subsequent generations of Indigenous people. Fontaine notes how his own experiences affected his relationships with his family and loved ones, perpetuating a cycle of pain and dysfunction.

4. Seeking Solace: Memories of Home as a Refuge from Abuse

Early on, I discovered that I could escape from the loneliness and sadness of my life at Indian residential school by recalling and reliving my joyous life as a boy at home before school.

Nostalgia as a Coping Mechanism. In the face of the harsh realities of residential school, Fontaine found solace in his memories of home. He vividly recalls the warmth of his mother's kitchen, the joy of playing with his siblings, and the freedom of exploring the natural world. These memories served as a refuge from the abuse and a reminder of his true identity.

Specific Memories:

• Mom's bannock baking in the early morning
• Early morning visits with Alfred Mann
• Family gatherings at the point

Preserving Identity. By clinging to these memories, Fontaine was able to resist the school's attempts to erase his Indigenous identity and maintain a connection to his culture and heritage. These memories also fueled his desire to one day return home and reclaim his life.

5. The Struggle for Identity: Navigating Two Worlds

I was left alone and confused, wondering why they would leave me there.

Conflicting Values. Residential school students were caught between two conflicting worlds: the Indigenous culture of their families and communities, and the white culture of the school. This created a sense of confusion and alienation, as they struggled to reconcile these opposing values. Fontaine describes feeling like an outsider in both worlds, never fully belonging to either.

Examples of Cultural Conflict:

• Being punished for speaking Ojibway
• Being taught to despise Indigenous traditions
• Being forced to adopt white customs and beliefs

Loss of Self. The constant pressure to conform to white standards led to a loss of self-identity among many students. Fontaine recounts how he began to question his own worth and to internalize the negative stereotypes about Indigenous people.

6. Resilience and Resistance: Finding Strength in Community and Culture

We suffered individually but now come together. We are not alone.

Community Support. Despite the isolation and abuse of residential school, Fontaine found strength in his connections with other students. They formed bonds of solidarity and provided each other with emotional support, helping them to cope with the trauma they were experiencing.

Cultural Resistance:

• Secretly speaking Ojibway
• Sharing stories and memories of home
• Maintaining connections to their families and communities

Finding Purpose. Fontaine's eventual involvement in Indigenous activism and advocacy demonstrates the resilience and determination of residential school survivors to reclaim their lives and fight for justice.

7. The Long Road to Healing: Confronting the Past, Embracing the Future

Each time I remember and talk about an experience, more and more comes back to me, helping me to see patterns of behaviour and understand the effects of my residential school experiences on my life.

The Healing Journey. Fontaine's memoir is a testament to the power of healing and the importance of confronting the past. He describes his long and difficult journey to recovery, which involved acknowledging the trauma he experienced, processing his emotions, and finding ways to move forward.

Steps in the Healing Process:

• Remembering and sharing his experiences
• Seeking therapy and counseling
• Connecting with other survivors

Embracing the Future. Despite the pain and suffering he endured, Fontaine's story is ultimately one of hope. He demonstrates that it is possible to overcome trauma and to live a meaningful and fulfilling life.

8. The Complicated Role of the Church: Faith, Fear, and Betrayal

My parents lived with the fear and belief that if we didn’t listen and practise what we were taught by the Church, we would be lost forever and suffer eternal damnation in the fires of hell.

Spiritual Abuse. The Roman Catholic Church played a central role in the operation of the residential school system, and Fontaine's memoir explores the complex and often contradictory nature of this relationship. While some priests and nuns provided genuine care and support, the Church as an institution was responsible for perpetrating widespread abuse and cultural destruction.

Examples of Spiritual Manipulation:

• Instilling fear of hell and damnation
• Promoting a sense of guilt and shame
• Discouraging Indigenous spiritual practices

Loss of Faith. The hypocrisy and abuse of the Church led to a loss of faith among many students, including Fontaine. He questions the motives of the Church and struggles to reconcile his spiritual beliefs with the reality of his experiences.

9. The Enduring Power of Family: Love and Loss in the Face of Adversity

We all attained the success you imagined for us, and it brings warmth to feel your loving eyes and smile radiating down on us.

Family as a Source of Strength. Despite the trauma of separation, Fontaine's family remained a constant source of love and support throughout his life. He cherishes his memories of his parents, siblings, and grandparents, and draws strength from their unwavering belief in him.

Impact of Residential Schools on Families:

• Forced separation of children from their parents
• Disruption of traditional parenting practices
• Erosion of family bonds

Reclaiming Family. Fontaine's memoir underscores the importance of family in the healing process. By reconnecting with his family and sharing his experiences, he was able to rebuild trust and find a sense of belonging.

10. The Importance of Truth and Reconciliation: Acknowledging the Past to Build a Better Future

This book aims to confront the truth and the legacy of Indian residential schools.

Seeking Justice. Fontaine's decision to share his story is an act of courage and a call for justice. He believes that it is essential to acknowledge the truth about the residential school system in order to begin the process of reconciliation.

Steps Toward Reconciliation:

• Acknowledging the harm caused by residential schools
• Providing support and resources for survivors
• Promoting education and awareness about Indigenous history and culture

Creating a Better Future. By confronting the past and working towards reconciliation, Fontaine hopes to create a better future for Indigenous people in Canada, one where their rights are respected and their cultures are celebrated.

Last updated: March 23, 2025