Synopsis & Basic Details

What is Call It What You Want about?

• Navigating an "Almost" Relationship: The novel centers on Sloane Hart, a college senior deeply in love with Ethan Brady, a charming but emotionally unavailable man she's never officially dated. Their undefined relationship, marked by intense connection and frustrating distance, forms the core conflict.
• Post-Graduation Uncertainty: The story follows Sloane and her friends through their final year of college and their subsequent move to New York City, exploring the anxieties and excitement of entering adulthood and pursuing career dreams.
• Journey of Self-Discovery: Ultimately, the book is a coming-of-age story about Sloane learning to navigate heartbreak, understand complex relationship dynamics, and find her own worth and voice, particularly through her passion for writing.

Why should I read Call It What You Want?

• Relatable Emotional Depth: Readers who have experienced the confusion and pain of an "almost relationship" will find Sloane's journey deeply resonant, offering validation and a sense of not being alone in their experiences.
• Exploration of Modern Dating: The novel honestly portrays the challenges of dating in the digital age, the struggle for clear communication, and the difficulty of defining relationships in a world of blurred lines.
• Empowering Self-Love Arc: Sloane's transformation from seeking external validation to finding strength and self-worth through her writing and personal growth provides an inspiring message about prioritizing oneself after heartbreak.

What is the background of Call It What You Want?

• College Town to Big City Contrast: The story is primarily set in Wilmington, North Carolina, during the characters' senior year of college, capturing the specific social dynamics of a university town, before shifting to the fast-paced, anonymous environment of New York City post-graduation.
• Focus on "Almost" Relationships: The author, Alissa DeRogatis, drew inspiration from her own experiences with undefined relationships, aiming to write a book that addressed the unique pain and confusion of loving someone you never officially dated, a theme often underrepresented in fiction.
• Writing as Therapy and Career: Sloane's journey highlights writing not just as a career ambition but as a crucial coping mechanism and tool for processing complex emotions, reflecting the author's own connection to the craft.

What are the most memorable quotes in Call It What You Want?

• "He's an ex-almost. Maybe that's all we'd ever be—an incomplete sentence or a book that someone put down halfway through and never picked back up, finished without an ending.": This quote from the prologue perfectly encapsulates the central theme of the book and the frustrating ambiguity of Sloane and Ethan's relationship.
• "You don't want someone who comes back; you want someone who never leaves.": Lauren delivers this poignant piece of advice to Sloane, highlighting the difference between fleeting connection and lasting commitment, a lesson Sloane struggles to internalize.
• "Call it what you want, but for me it was love.": The final line of the book, spoken by Sloane, reclaims the narrative and validates her feelings, asserting that despite the lack of a formal title, the emotional reality of her connection with Ethan was undeniably love for her.

What writing style, narrative choices, and literary techniques does Alissa DeRogatis use?

• First-Person, Conversational Tone: The novel is primarily told from Sloane's first-person perspective, using an informal, conversational style that makes her thoughts and feelings immediately accessible and relatable to the reader.
• Dual Timeline Structure: The story is divided into "PART 1: THEN" (college years) and "PART 2: NOW" (post-graduation in NYC), allowing the narrative to build the history of Sloane and Ethan's relationship before exploring its lingering impact on her new life.
• Emotional Vulnerability and Internal Monologue: DeRogatis heavily utilizes Sloane's internal monologue to explore her anxieties, hopes, and heartbreak, creating a sense of deep emotional vulnerability and allowing readers direct access to her complex inner world.

Hidden Details & Subtle Connections

What are some minor details that add significant meaning?

• Ethan's Yankees T-shirt: The worn-out Yankees T-shirt Ethan wears when Sloane first meets him becomes a subtle symbol of his Wilmington roots and perhaps a comfort item, contrasting with the polished image he sometimes projects and reappearing at significant moments like their breakup conversation.
• The Apartment Building as a Microcosm: The Ascent apartment complex in college and the NYC apartment building post-graduation aren't just settings; they become physical manifestations of Sloane and Ethan's emotional proximity and distance, highlighting the inescapable nature of their connection even when they try to move on.
• Sloane's Journaling/Notes App: Sloane's habit of writing down her overwhelming feelings, initially in a journal and later in her phone's notes app, is a quiet detail that foreshadows her eventual career as a writer and serves as a crucial coping mechanism and source of self-reflection throughout her emotional turmoil.

What are some subtle foreshadowing and callbacks?

• Sloane's Anxiety About Change: Early mentions of Sloane's anxiety surrounding change, stemming from her transient childhood, subtly foreshadow the significant emotional upheaval she will face with the end of college, moving to NYC, and the instability of her relationship with Ethan.
• Conversations in Cars: Sloane notes early on that "conversations in cars were never a good thing" and that "everything big that had ever happened to me in love happened in a car," subtly foreshadowing the pivotal breakup conversation with Ethan that takes place in his car.
• The "Almost" Metaphor: The prologue's description of their relationship as an "incomplete sentence" or a "book that someone put down halfway through" is a powerful early metaphor that is echoed throughout the narrative as Sloane grapples with the lack of closure and definition.

What are some unexpected character connections?

• Reese and Blake King's Friendship: The revelation that Reese Thompson, Sloane's later boyfriend, is roommates with Blake King, the same older Pike brother who recommended Ethan's NYC apartment building, creates an unexpected layer of interconnectedness and highlights the small-world nature of their college social circle following them to the city.
• Graham's Parents' Role in Ethan's Life: The depth of Graham's parents' support for Ethan, essentially raising him after his own parents' arrest, is a significant detail that explains Graham's loyalty and insight into Ethan's character, a connection that goes far beyond typical college friendships.
• Annie Walker's Mentorship: Annie's willingness to mentor Sloane and encourage her to write about her heartbreak is a crucial connection that transforms Sloane's personal pain into professional success, demonstrating the unexpected positive influences that can emerge from new environments.

Who are the most significant supporting characters?

• Lauren Ellis: As Sloane's best friend and roommate, Lauren serves as her primary emotional confidante and voice of reason, offering direct advice and unwavering support through every stage of Sloane's relationship with Ethan and her transition to NYC.
• Graham Clark: Ethan's best friend, Graham, provides crucial insight into Ethan's troubled past and emotional barriers, acting as a bridge between Sloane and Ethan's inner worlds and offering Sloane a perspective she couldn't get directly from Ethan.
• Reese Thompson: Reese represents the potential for a stable, healthy relationship, serving as a direct contrast to Ethan. His kindness, attentiveness, and willingness to commit highlight what Sloane is missing with Ethan and force her to confront what she truly wants and deserves.

Psychological, Emotional, & Relational Analysis

What are some unspoken motivations of the characters?

• Ethan's Fear of Abandonment: Ethan's deep-seated fear of abandonment, stemming from his mother's failure to return for him after prison, is an unspoken emotion that drives his inability to commit and his tendency to push people away before they can leave him.
• Sloane's Need for Validation: Sloane's initial desperation to make things work with Ethan, even settling for an undefined relationship, is subtly motivated by a need for external validation, perhaps linked to her transient childhood and parents' divorce, seeking stability and proof of her own worth through romantic connection.
• Reese's Desire for Stability: Reese's quickness to define his relationship with Sloane and his consistent attentiveness might be subtly motivated by a desire for a stable, committed relationship, contrasting with the casual hookup culture often prevalent in their social circle.

What psychological complexities do the characters exhibit?

• Ethan's Avoidant Attachment Style: Ethan exhibits traits of an avoidant attachment style, struggling with emotional intimacy, preferring independence, and withdrawing when relationships become too close or demanding, a direct result of his childhood trauma.
• Sloane's Anxiety and Self-Doubt: Sloane grapples with significant anxiety, particularly around change and uncertainty, and internalizes self-doubt regarding her worthiness of love and success, stemming from her unstable upbringing and the emotional toll of her relationship with Ethan.
• Reese's Contrast to Ethan: Reese's psychological profile serves as a foil to Ethan's; he appears emotionally secure, communicative, and consistent, highlighting the stark difference in the types of partners Sloane is drawn to and what a "healthy" dynamic could look like.

What are the major emotional turning points?

• The First Kiss (Chapter 3): Sloane's first kiss with Ethan is a major emotional turning point, described as feeling "familiar" and making her feel "at home," marking the beginning of her deep emotional investment despite the lack of a formal relationship.
• Graham's Revelation of Ethan's Past (Chapter 19): Learning about Ethan's parents' arrest and his mother's abandonment is a pivotal emotional turning point for Sloane, shifting her perspective from anger and confusion to empathy and a deeper, albeit painful, understanding of Ethan's barriers.
• Sloane's Article Success (Chapter 20): The success of Sloane's article "An Open Letter to the Guy Who Didn't Want to Date Me" is a major emotional turning point, providing her with a sense of validation and closure that Ethan couldn't, marking a significant step in her journey of self-worth and healing.

How do relationship dynamics evolve?

• Sloane and Ethan: The Cycle of "Almost": Their dynamic is characterized by a recurring cycle of intense connection, Sloane's desire for definition, Ethan's withdrawal, a period of distance/breakup, and eventual reconnection, often initiated by Ethan when Sloane seems to be moving on.
• Sloane and Lauren: Deepening Friendship: Their friendship evolves from typical college roommates/best friends to a more mature bond characterized by unwavering support, tough love, and shared vulnerability as they navigate post-grad life and relationship challenges.
• Sloane and Reese: The "Healthy" Contrast: Sloane's relationship with Reese highlights the contrast between the chaotic "almost" with Ethan and a more conventional, communicative partnership, forcing Sloane to confront whether stability and predictability are enough for her.

Interpretation & Debate

Which parts of the story remain ambiguous or open-ended?

• Ethan's True Feelings for Sloane: While Ethan admits to caring for Sloane and states that if he could be with anyone, it would be her, the true depth of his feelings and whether he genuinely loved her in his own way remains open to interpretation, never explicitly stated by him.
• The Potential for Ethan's Change: The story leaves ambiguous whether Ethan will ever truly overcome his trauma and become capable of a committed relationship, suggesting it requires significant personal work that is outside the scope of Sloane's influence or the narrative's timeline.
• The Significance of Their Final Encounter: The final encounter at Graham's wedding, where they share a silent, knowing glance, is open to interpretation – does it signify lingering feelings, mutual understanding, shared pain, or simply the acknowledgment of a significant past connection?

What are some debatable, controversial scenes or moments in Call It What You Want?

• Sloane Calling the Cops on Ethan's Party (Chapter 16): Sloane admitting she called the cops on Ethan's apartment party the night they met, and later taking credit for his roommate getting a girlfriend that night, is a debatable moment that could be seen as petty or manipulative, contrasting with her later portrayal as a sympathetic protagonist.
• Sloane Sleeping with Ethan While Dating Reese (Chapter 24): Sloane's decision to sleep with Ethan after reconnecting in NYC while she is in a committed relationship with Reese is a controversial moment that challenges reader sympathy and highlights the complex, sometimes destructive, pull she feels towards Ethan.
• Ethan's Text Breakups: Ethan's repeated decision to end things with Sloane via text message is highly debatable and often seen as cowardly or disrespectful, sparking reader debate about his character and the validity of his reasons for ending the relationship.

Call It What You Want Ending Explained: How It Ends & What It Means

• The Final Breakup: The relationship between Sloane and Ethan ends definitively after a tense conversation where Sloane expresses her need for commitment and Ethan admits he still cannot provide it. The scene culminates in a physical accident (Sloane breaking a glass and cutting her hand) and a raw, emotional exchange where Sloane asserts her worth and walks away without looking back.
• Sloane's Growth and Acceptance: The epilogue, set nine months later, shows Sloane living alone in NYC, thriving in her writing career (including a successful blog), and focusing on self-care and personal growth. She reflects on the relationship with Ethan, realizing she was mourning the idea of him and their potential future, not necessarily the reality of their dynamic.
• Meaning of the Ending: The ending signifies Sloane's journey from seeking external validation through Ethan to finding self-worth and fulfillment independently. The final encounter at Graham's wedding, a silent acknowledgment across a room, underscores that while the connection was significant ("Call it what you want, but for me it was love"), it was ultimately a formative, painful chapter that taught her valuable lessons about self-love and deserving a partner who is fully present and committed.