Key Takeaways
1. Millennial burnout stems from a broken promise of the American Dream
"Millennials did not germinate the idea that 'lovable work' was the ideal, nor did we cultivate it. But we did have to deal with the reality of just how frail that idea became once exposed to the real world."
Shattered expectations. Millennials were raised on the promise that hard work and education would lead to success and stability. However, they entered adulthood during economic turmoil, facing stagnant wages, skyrocketing costs of living, and mounting student debt. This stark contrast between expectations and reality has led to widespread disillusionment and burnout.
Systemic issues. The root causes of millennial burnout are not personal failings, but rather systemic issues:
- Economic instability and income inequality
- Lack of affordable healthcare and housing
- Weakened labor protections and job security
- Increased competition in the job market
- Pressure to maintain a curated online presence
2. Helicopter parenting and concerted cultivation primed millennials for burnout
"To be valued in American society is to be able to work. Historically, more work, more toil, more commitment, more loyalty, more grit—all of that could make you more valuable."
Overstructured childhoods. Many millennials experienced childhoods filled with structured activities, constant supervision, and intense pressure to excel. This "concerted cultivation" approach to parenting was intended to give children a competitive edge, but it also:
- Reduced unstructured play and creativity
- Increased anxiety and fear of failure
- Taught children to equate busyness with value
- Instilled a perfectionist mindset
Loss of autonomy. The shift away from free play and independent exploration has left many millennials struggling to:
- Make decisions without external validation
- Cope with unstructured time
- Find intrinsic motivation and passion
- Develop resilience and problem-solving skills
3. The pursuit of higher education became a burnout trap for millennials
"There are myriad explanations for this unequal distribution of labor: Men aren't as good at multitasking, men don't breastfeed and thus can't take the same sort of caregiving role in early infancy, women have unrealistic expectations for how men should complete tasks. Lockman methodically breaks down—and disabuses readers of—each notion."
Education as necessity. Millennials were told that a college degree was essential for success, leading to:
- Increased competition for college admissions
- Skyrocketing tuition costs and student debt
- Pressure to choose "practical" majors over passions
- Expectation of unpaid internships and resume-building
Misaligned expectations. The reality of the job market often failed to match the promises of higher education:
- Oversaturation of certain fields
- Underemployment and job dissatisfaction
- Difficulty finding jobs that utilize degree-specific skills
- Delayed financial independence and major life milestones
4. "Do what you love" mentality led to exploitation and overwork
"By cloaking the labor in the language of 'passion,' we're prevented from thinking of what we do as what it is: a job, not the entirety of our lives."
Passion as exploitation. The "do what you love" ethos has been weaponized by employers to:
- Justify low wages and long hours
- Blur the lines between work and personal life
- Create guilt around setting boundaries or asking for fair compensation
- Encourage unpaid labor in the form of "exposure" or "experience"
Devaluation of labor. This mindset has broader societal implications:
- Undermining of labor rights and collective bargaining
- Increased competition for "desirable" jobs
- Stigmatization of necessary but unglamorous work
- Pressure to monetize hobbies and leisure activities
5. Corporate restructuring and the gig economy created a precarious workforce
"The goal of always growth at any cost, then employees, like machine parts, are exploitable, as long as the productivity continues to go up and the profit margins continue to rise."
Fissured workplace. Corporate restructuring has led to:
- Increased use of contractors and temporary workers
- Outsourcing of non-core functions
- Reduction in benefits and job security
- Shift of risk from employers to employees
Rise of the gig economy. The proliferation of app-based work and freelancing has:
- Created a large class of workers without traditional protections
- Increased income instability and unpredictable schedules
- Placed the burden of expenses (e.g., equipment, insurance) on workers
- Blurred the lines between work and personal time
6. Technology exacerbates burnout by blurring work-life boundaries
"Digital technologies allow work to spread into the rest of our lives, but they also allow the rest of our lives to spread into work."
Always-on culture. Smartphones and constant connectivity have:
- Extended the workday indefinitely
- Created expectations of immediate responsiveness
- Increased multitasking and cognitive load
- Made it difficult to fully disconnect from work
Digital distractions. The proliferation of apps and social media has:
- Fragmented attention and reduced productivity
- Created pressure to curate an online persona
- Increased comparison and FOMO (fear of missing out)
- Reduced time for deep focus and reflection
7. Leisure time has been commodified and optimized, leaving no room for true rest
"We've idealized the idea of portable work, promoting the notion of people roaming about with a portfolio of skills they can sell at a price they set themselves."
Productivity obsession. The pressure to be productive has invaded leisure time:
- Turning hobbies into side hustles
- Gamification of relaxation (e.g., meditation apps)
- Guilt over "unproductive" downtime
- Constant self-improvement and optimization
Loss of true leisure. The result is a lack of genuine rest and recovery:
- Difficulty being present in the moment
- Reduced social connections and community involvement
- Increased anxiety and inability to relax
- Burnout from constant striving and self-optimization
8. Parenting in the age of burnout creates additional pressures and inequalities
"Economic insecurity makes parents insecure. What they do to fight against that insecurity tends to depend on their current class—and, by extension, the level of insecurity they experience."
Intensive parenting. The pressure to raise "successful" children has intensified:
- Increased competition for schools and activities
- Expectation of constant supervision and enrichment
- Financial strain from childcare and extracurriculars
- Pressure to curate picture-perfect family life on social media
Unequal burden. These pressures disproportionately affect:
- Women, who still shoulder most domestic labor
- Lower-income families, who lack resources for intensive parenting
- Single parents and those without family support networks
- Parents of children with special needs or disabilities
9. Systemic changes are needed to address the root causes of millennial burnout
"There can be significantly less of all of those things. To make that happen, we have to admit that it's not enough to have progressive ideals about parenting. Our current iteration of patriarchal capitalism destroys those ideals, no matter how earnest or deeply held, and replaces them with their regressive opposite."
Individual solutions are insufficient. While self-care and personal boundaries are important, they cannot solve systemic issues:
- Lack of affordable healthcare and childcare
- Stagnant wages and rising costs of living
- Inadequate labor protections and social safety nets
- Unrealistic societal expectations and pressures
Collective action is needed. Addressing millennial burnout requires:
- Policy changes (e.g., paid family leave, universal healthcare)
- Workplace culture shifts (e.g., reasonable work hours, job security)
- Redefining success beyond monetary wealth and status
- Building community support networks and mutual aid
- Challenging harmful narratives around work and productivity
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Review Summary
Can't Even explores millennial burnout, tracing its roots to economic shifts, parenting styles, and technological changes. Petersen argues that systemic issues, not personal failings, cause burnout. The book resonates with many readers who see themselves in its descriptions of overwork, anxiety, and constant connectivity. Some critics find it overly focused on middle-class experiences or lacking solutions. Despite mixed reviews, many appreciate Petersen's thorough research and accessible writing style in addressing this widespread issue.
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