Chasing Daylight

1. Embrace mortality to live more fully

"Must the end of life be the worst part? Can it be made the best?"

Facing death head-on. When Eugene O'Kelly, former CEO of KPMG, was diagnosed with late-stage brain cancer at 53, he chose to view his remaining three months as an opportunity rather than a tragedy. He realized that confronting mortality could lead to a deeper appreciation of life and a chance to live more authentically.

Transforming perspective. O'Kelly's diagnosis forced him to reevaluate his priorities and approach to life. He began to see his limited time as a gift, allowing him to focus on what truly mattered. This shift in perspective enabled him to:

• Spend quality time with loved ones
• Resolve unfinished business
• Appreciate life's simple pleasures
• Gain clarity on his values and purpose

2. Shift focus from time management to energy management

"Commitment is about depth. It's about effort. It's about passion. It's about wanting to be in a certain place, and not somewhere else."

Redefining productivity. O'Kelly realized that his previous focus on time management had led to an imbalanced life. He discovered that managing energy, rather than time, was key to living a more fulfilling life, especially in his final days.

Prioritizing meaningful activities. By focusing on energy management, O'Kelly was able to:

• Engage fully in activities that brought him joy and fulfillment
• Spend quality time with family and friends without distraction
• Pursue spiritual and personal growth
• Let go of tasks and commitments that drained his energy
• Create more meaningful experiences in less time

3. Cultivate consciousness and live in the present moment

"Consciousness is like a muscle, I thought, that would grow stronger when worked on."

Practicing mindfulness. O'Kelly found that living in the present moment was challenging but rewarding. He developed techniques to cultivate consciousness and be more aware of his surroundings and experiences.

Benefits of present-moment awareness:

• Enhanced appreciation of life's simple pleasures
• Reduced anxiety about the future
• Deeper connections with loved ones
• Increased sense of peace and acceptance
• Greater ability to find joy in everyday moments

O'Kelly discovered that by focusing on the present, he could make his limited time feel more expansive and meaningful.

4. Create "Perfect Moments" and cherish life's simple pleasures

"A Perfect Moment was a little gift of a moment or an hour or an afternoon. Its actual length was never the issue."

Seeking beauty in everyday life. O'Kelly began actively looking for and creating "Perfect Moments" – instances of heightened awareness and appreciation. These could be as simple as watching a sunset or having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one.

Cultivating gratitude. By focusing on Perfect Moments, O'Kelly learned to:

• Find joy in simple pleasures
• Appreciate nature and his surroundings more deeply
• Create meaningful memories with loved ones
• Slow down time by fully immersing himself in experiences
• Shift his perspective from scarcity to abundance

This practice helped him make the most of his remaining time and find beauty in unexpected places.

5. Unwind relationships and say meaningful goodbyes

"Closing my relationships with my most valued business associates—friends—particularly those who worked at KPMG, was especially satisfying."

Intentional farewells. O'Kelly decided to "unwind" his relationships, having meaningful conversations and creating special moments with friends, family, and colleagues. This process allowed him to express gratitude, resolve conflicts, and create lasting memories.

Benefits of unwinding relationships:

• Provided closure and peace of mind
• Allowed for expression of deep appreciation and love
• Created opportunities for forgiveness and reconciliation
• Left loved ones with positive final memories
• Helped O'Kelly feel more prepared for his transition

By approaching these goodbyes with intention and care, O'Kelly was able to leave a lasting positive impact on those he cared about.

6. Balance commitment with spontaneity

"Spontaneity. Perfect often seemed to go hand in hand with unscheduled."

Embracing flexibility. O'Kelly realized that his lifelong focus on commitment and planning had sometimes prevented him from experiencing life's unexpected joys. He learned to balance his natural inclination for structure with a newfound appreciation for spontaneity.

Finding middle ground. By incorporating more spontaneity into his life, O'Kelly:

• Discovered new sources of joy and fulfillment
• Became more open to unexpected opportunities
• Learned to adapt to changing circumstances more easily
• Found a deeper sense of presence in each moment
• Created more memorable experiences with loved ones

This balance allowed him to maintain his sense of purpose while also embracing the unpredictable nature of life and death.

7. Prepare for transition with acceptance and grace

"Dying, I suddenly did not feel as helpless as I might have."

Embracing the inevitable. As his health declined, O'Kelly focused on accepting his impending death with grace and dignity. He found that preparing for this transition allowed him to approach it with less fear and more peace.

Finding peace in preparation. O'Kelly's approach to preparing for death included:

• Engaging in spiritual practices and meditation
• Having open conversations about death with loved ones
• Making practical arrangements for his funeral and affairs
• Focusing on creating positive final memories with family
• Letting go of the need to control every aspect of his passing

By facing his mortality head-on and preparing for it, O'Kelly was able to find a sense of peace and even excitement about the next phase of his journey.

Last updated: November 16, 2024