Choose Your Story, Change Your Life

1. Your inner storyteller shapes your reality

We become our stories.

Stories create our reality. Our brains are wired for storytelling, and the stories we tell ourselves have a profound impact on our lives. These self-stories influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often without our conscious awareness. They can either propel us forward or hold us back from achieving our goals and dreams.

The power of self-stories:

• Shape our perception of events and experiences
• Influence our decision-making processes
• Determine our emotional responses
• Guide our actions and behaviors
• Create self-fulfilling prophecies

Understanding the role of our inner storyteller is crucial for personal growth and success. By recognizing that we have the power to shape our own narratives, we can begin to take control of our lives and create the reality we desire.

2. Catch your self-stories in action

Iceberg moments are clues to your self-stories.

Identify story triggers. To change your self-stories, you must first become aware of them. Look for "iceberg moments" – brief instances when your inner narrative reveals itself through your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

Types of iceberg moments:

• Verbal: Self-talk and recurring phrases
• Physiological: Physical reactions to situations
• Behavioral: Habitual actions or responses
• Emotional: Strong feelings or mood shifts

Pay attention to these moments in your daily life, as they offer valuable insights into the stories you're telling yourself. By catching your self-stories in action, you can begin to understand their impact and take steps to change them.

3. Analyze the origin and impact of your stories

There are no pointless stories.

Examine your narrative. Once you've identified your self-stories, take time to analyze them. Consider where they came from, whether they're true, and how they're affecting your life.

Key questions to ask:

• Where did this story come from?
• Is this story true?
• Why is the story there?
• What price do I pay for this story?
• Does this story serve me?
• Where am I in this story?

By thoroughly examining your self-stories, you can gain valuable insights into their origins and impacts. This understanding is crucial for determining which stories to keep and which to change.

4. Choose stories that serve your growth

You can either take charge of your stories, or you can let them run your life the way they have been. The choice is yours.

Select empowering narratives. Once you've analyzed your existing stories, it's time to choose new ones that better serve your goals and aspirations. Look for stories from your past that demonstrate your strength, resilience, and capability.

Strategies for choosing better stories:

• Replace negative stories with positive ones
• Reinterpret past events in a more empowering light
• Reroute stories from one area of life to another
• Research and borrow inspiring stories from others
• Rewrite your story by creating a new, empowering narrative

Remember, the stories you choose to tell yourself have the power to shape your future. By consciously selecting narratives that support your growth and success, you can create a more fulfilling life.

5. Install new stories through repetition and practice

New stories run on the same system, and you can build and reinforce them in the same way.

Reinforce positive narratives. Choosing new stories is just the beginning. To make them stick, you need to actively install them in your mind through repetition and practice.

Techniques for installing new stories:

• Write down your chosen stories in detail
• Share your stories aloud with others
• Plan for challenging moments by preparing your new narrative
• Start each day by reviewing your empowering stories

Consistency is key when installing new stories. The more you repeat and reinforce your chosen narratives, the more ingrained they become in your subconscious mind, ultimately shaping your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

6. Rewrite your professional narrative for success

Professional success and fulfillment are built from the inside out, one story at a time.

Transform your career mindset. The stories you tell yourself about your professional life can significantly impact your success and satisfaction. By rewriting your career narrative, you can overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.

Key areas to address:

• Your perception of your abilities and potential
• Your beliefs about what you deserve in your career
• Your stories about change and the unknown
• Your definition of success

Focus on identifying and replacing limiting beliefs with empowering stories that support your professional growth. Remember that your perception of your capabilities often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in your career.

7. Transform your health through positive self-stories

Where the mind goes, the body follows.

Harness the mind-body connection. The stories you tell yourself about your health and well-being have a profound impact on your physical and mental state. By choosing and installing positive health narratives, you can improve your overall wellness.

Areas to focus on:

• Your beliefs about your body's capabilities
• Your stories about exercise and nutrition
• Your perception of stress and relaxation
• Your narratives around self-care and mental health

Create and reinforce stories that support your health goals. Remember that your mindset plays a crucial role in your physical well-being, and positive self-stories can lead to better health outcomes.

8. Reshape your relationship with money

Money is the ultimate story.

Rewrite your financial narrative. Your beliefs and stories about money significantly influence your financial situation. By examining and changing these stories, you can improve your relationship with money and achieve greater financial success.

Key money stories to address:

• Your beliefs about how much money you have
• Your perceptions of how much money you need
• Your stories about where money comes from
• Your beliefs about how money should be used

Challenge and replace limiting money stories with empowering ones. Remember that your financial reality is often a reflection of the stories you tell yourself about money.

9. Cultivate loving relationships through empowering stories

Being trigger-ready with stories can change your life, no matter what or how random your triggers may be.

Transform your relationship narratives. The stories you tell yourself about love and relationships profoundly impact your connections with others. By choosing empowering relationship stories, you can create healthier, more fulfilling bonds.

Focus areas for relationship stories:

• Your beliefs about your worthiness of love
• Your expectations in relationships
• Your stories about past experiences
• Your narratives about trust and vulnerability

Work on identifying and replacing limiting relationship stories with positive, empowering ones. Remember that the stories you tell yourself about love and relationships often become self-fulfilling prophecies.

10. Parent effectively by working on your own stories

We can't really give to our children what we don't have ourselves.

Improve your parenting through self-work. The stories you tell yourself about parenting significantly impact your effectiveness as a parent. By working on your own narratives, you can become a better role model and guide for your children.

Key parenting stories to address:

• Your beliefs about your abilities as a parent
• Your expectations of yourself and your children
• Your stories about your own childhood
• Your narratives about what makes a "good" parent

Focus on choosing and installing stories that support positive parenting. Remember that by working on your own self-stories, you're not only improving your parenting but also helping your children develop healthier narratives of their own.

Last updated: May 14, 2025