Claiming the B in LGBT

1. Bisexuality is a valid and distinct sexual orientation

"You're bisexual as soon as you stop being exclusively attracted to only one sex."

Defining bisexuality. Bisexuality means attraction to more than one gender, not necessarily equally or simultaneously. It's a spectrum of experiences, not a 50/50 split between male and female attraction. Common definitions include:

• Attraction to same and different genders
• Attraction to two or more genders
• Attraction regardless of gender

Debunking myths. Bisexuality is not a phase, a transition, or confusion. It's a stable identity for many people throughout their lives. Bisexual people can be monogamous or non-monogamous, just like people of any orientation. The "bi" in bisexual doesn't reinforce the gender binary; many bisexual people are attracted to non-binary individuals as well.

2. Coming out as bisexual can be challenging but rewarding

"I could finally describe what I felt. And what's more, I could describe it using existing words, which made it easier for others to understand what I meant."

Unique challenges. Coming out as bisexual often involves:

• Explaining bisexuality to others who may not understand
• Facing disbelief or erasure from both straight and LGBTQ+ communities
• Dealing with assumptions about promiscuity or inability to commit
• Navigating changes in relationships with different genders

Benefits of coming out. Despite challenges, many bisexual people find coming out liberating:

• Ability to live authentically
• Connecting with supportive communities
• Helping increase visibility and acceptance for other bisexual people
• Improved mental health and self-esteem

Coming out is a personal decision, and it's okay to be selective about who you tell and when. Safety should always be the priority.

3. Biphobia and erasure persist in both straight and LGBTQ+ communities

"I've lost count of how many people, especially lesbians, have said they aren't bisexual because they've only slept with/had relationships with one/two/not as many people of the other sex."

Common biphobic attitudes:

• Bisexuality doesn't exist
• Bisexual people are confused or indecisive
• Bisexuals are more likely to cheat
• Bisexuality is just a phase

Impacts of biphobia. These attitudes lead to:

• Invisibility and erasure of bisexual identities
• Exclusion from LGBTQ+ spaces and resources
• Higher rates of mental health issues among bisexual people
• Difficulty accessing appropriate healthcare

Combating biphobia requires education, visibility, and allies within both straight and LGBTQ+ communities. Bisexual people themselves can challenge stereotypes by living openly and authentically when safe to do so.

4. Bisexuality intersects with other identities like race, gender, and disability

"Occasionally I run into people who seem annoyed that I tick 'too many' diversity boxes … like I've somehow been greedy by being born bisexual AND multi-racial AND disabled."

Intersectionality matters. Bisexual people are diverse, coming from all:

• Racial and ethnic backgrounds
• Gender identities
• Socioeconomic classes
• Abilities and disabilities
• Religious and cultural traditions

Compounded challenges. Bisexual people with multiple marginalized identities often face:

• Increased discrimination and erasure
• Difficulty finding supportive communities that accept all aspects of their identity
• Unique health disparities and barriers to care

Recognizing intersectionality is crucial for creating truly inclusive bisexual spaces and advocacy efforts. It's important to amplify diverse bisexual voices and experiences.

5. Non-monogamy is an option, not a requirement, for bisexual people

"You are not wrong. You are not broken. You deserve respect. You are a human being. You are bisexual."

Relationship diversity. Bisexual people, like anyone else, may choose:

• Monogamy with one partner
• Ethical non-monogamy or polyamory
• Singlehood or casual dating

Debunking stereotypes. Common misconceptions include:

• Bisexuals need partners of multiple genders to be satisfied
• Bisexuality automatically means an interest in threesomes
• Bisexual people can't be faithful in monogamous relationships

These stereotypes are harmful and untrue. Bisexual people are capable of committed, monogamous relationships if they choose. Non-monogamy is a separate choice from bisexuality.

6. Bisexual representation in media and fiction is improving but still problematic

"For all his alleged progressiveness, series creator Joss Whedon definitely missed a trick in the way he handled Willow's sexuality."

Common issues in bisexual representation:

• Erasure (characters labeled as gay or straight despite bisexual behavior)
• Stereotyping (portraying bisexuals as villainous, promiscuous, or confused)
• "Gay for you" tropes that ignore bisexuality
• Lack of explicitly labeled bisexual characters

Positive trends. Some media is improving representation by:

• Including openly bisexual characters with complex storylines
• Showing bisexuality as a stable identity, not just a phase
• Representing bisexual people of diverse genders, races, and backgrounds

Good representation matters because it helps bisexual people see themselves reflected in culture and educates others about bisexuality. Fans often create their own representation through headcanons and fanfiction when canon falls short.

7. Allies play a crucial role in supporting the bisexual community

"A lot of being a good ally is just being a good friend and a decent person."

What makes a good ally:

• Educating themselves about bisexuality
• Speaking up against biphobia and erasure
• Supporting bisexual rights and visibility efforts
• Listening to and amplifying bisexual voices
• Recognizing their own privileges and biases

Importance of allies. Allies can:

• Provide support in spaces where bisexual people may not feel safe
• Use their platforms to increase bisexual visibility
• Challenge biphobia within their own communities
• Advocate for bisexual-inclusive policies and resources

Being an ally is an ongoing process of learning and action. It's not about perfection, but about consistently showing up to support the bisexual community.

8. Bisexuality in the workplace presents unique challenges and opportunities

"When you're not spending time and energy playing pronoun games and trying to work out if you're safe, you're spending that time and energy doing your job."

Workplace challenges:

• Deciding whether to come out
• Facing potential discrimination or harassment
• Dealing with assumptions based on current partner's gender
• Navigating LGBTQ+ spaces that may not be bi-inclusive

Benefits of inclusive workplaces:

• Increased productivity when employees can be their authentic selves
• Diverse perspectives leading to better problem-solving and innovation
• Improved employee satisfaction and retention

Creating bi-inclusive workplaces involves:

• Clear non-discrimination policies that specifically include bisexuality
• LGBTQ+ employee resource groups that are explicitly bi-inclusive
• Education and training on bisexual issues for all employees
• Visible bisexual role models in leadership positions

Bisexual employees who feel safe and supported at work are better able to contribute their full talents and skills to their organizations.

Last updated: September 20, 2024