Description

1. Description is the Very Essence of Fiction

Description is not so much an element of fiction as its very essence; it is the creation of mental images that allow readers to fully experience a story.

Creating mental images. Description isn't just adding adjectives; it's the fundamental way you build a fictional world in the reader's mind. Every choice, from word selection to sentence structure, contributes to these images and influences reader perception. A simple action like "John showed up with a gun" becomes richer and more suggestive when described with more descriptive language, like "John arrived, pistol glinting in his hand."

Accuracy and relevance. Good description isn't about quantity, but about the precision and purpose of the details used. Describing a character as merely "beautiful" is less effective than focusing on specific features like "coppery hair" or "deeply flecked eyes." Description should always be relevant to the story, avoiding unnecessary details that distract the reader from the narrative's core.

Many forms exist. Effective description doesn't rely solely on adjectives and adverbs; it can be achieved through simple declarative sentences, dialogue, or even the cadence of a character's voice. Whether minimalist or maximalist, the goal is to create a "real" and alive fictional world that guides readers through events without getting lost in a thicket of words.

2. Master the Power of Telling Details

A detail is a word or phrase or image that helps the readers "see."

Illuminating character/place. Telling details are precise, illuminating finds that go beyond simple observation to give readers a deeper sense of character or place. They can be small, like an old man's carefully parted hair suggesting he hasn't given up, or larger, like shepherdess figurines on a mantel implying a gentle, orderly life. These details provide access to a character's inner landscape, fears, and compulsions.

Driving story direction. Telling details can act as a compass, guiding the writer and the story forward, especially in early drafts. A character's choice of book at a library, like "How to Plant a Flower Garden," not only reveals something about them but can dictate the story's subsequent path. Recognizing these junctures, often related to a character's surroundings or decisions, helps define the narrative.

Part inspiration, part craft. Telling details can emerge spontaneously from the subconscious during a first draft or be deliberately crafted in later revisions. Once the writer understands the character and story shape, they can strategically add details that enrich the prose and reflect the character's phase of understanding. This requires paring down irrelevant information to leave only the most vivid and meaningful elements.

3. Engage All Five Senses for Richness

Remember, you have four other senses to work with: taste, touch, smell, and sound.

Beyond the visual. Writers often over-rely on visual description, neglecting the other four senses: taste, touch, smell, and sound. What a character smells or hears can be even more impactful than what they see, adding layers of atmosphere and depth to a scene. A festooned riverboat might be visually striking, but the metallic taste in the captain's mouth or the water's sulphurous odor could be more crucial to the story.

Adding sensory depth. Incorporating sensory details transforms a passage from merely informative to deeply immersive. In the example of Frankie's garden, adding the "damp aroma" of soil, the "rustling" lilies, the "clamor" of traffic, and the feel of sun on his "balding head" enriches the scene. These details create atmosphere that illuminates Frankie's fragile position, offering insights beyond simply stating his puzzlement.

Inviting reader empathy. Sensory details invite readers to step into the character's world, understand their experience, and empathize with their hopes and fears. They bring breadth and depth to both character and setting, revealing information in surprising and engaging ways. By sensing Frankie's world, readers become invested in his choices and how he navigates his circumstances.

4. Skillfully Balance Showing (Scene) and Telling (Narrative)

Showing and telling are equally powerful and important descriptive techniques.

Understanding the difference. "Showing" typically involves using vivid details and sensory language to paint a picture, often through scene. "Telling" is more direct, providing information or explanation through narrative. While "show, don't tell" is a common maxim, both techniques are essential and powerful when used effectively.

Scene vs. Narrative. Technically, "showing" aligns with scene, which usually contains dialogue, has a distinct structure (beginning, middle, end), and moves the story forward through action and interaction. "Telling" aligns with narrative, the prose flow that informs the reader about background, character traits, or transitions. A scene often includes narrative, but narrative doesn't require scene.

Finding the right balance. Too much telling can make prose flat and expository, while too much showing can overwhelm the reader and obscure the story. The most effective description often comes from a combination of showing and telling. A brief bit of telling, like a mouse analogy for a timid character, can make subsequent showing more subtle and impactful, allowing readers to fill in details themselves.

5. Description Drives Both Physical and Emotional Story Motion

Good stories move.

Two levels of movement. Stories move on two interconnected levels: physical (plot progression) and emotional (character development and internal change). Physical movement follows the chain of events (A happens, then B, then C), while emotional movement tracks the character's inner journey, discoveries, and turning points. Description is key to conveying both.

Meshing plot and character. Stories move most seamlessly when plot and character development are intertwined. As a character moves through the physical plot, their emotional progress can be illuminated through their observations and perceptions. The same setting can be described differently depending on the character's state of mind, reflecting their internal changes.

Controlling story pace. Description controls the pace of a story. Short, staccato sentences and minimal detail can quicken the pace during moments of tension or panic. Longer, more elaborate descriptions can slow the pace, reflecting a character's exhaustion, reflection, or the story's approach to a turning point or conclusion. The descriptive choices should always align with the emotional and physical rhythm of the narrative.

6. Dialogue Serves as Powerful Character and Story Description

Good dialogue is good description.

Revealing character through voice. Dialogue is not just conversation; it's a powerful descriptive tool that reveals character, moves the story forward, and helps readers "see" the speakers. Different characters perceive and describe things differently, and their word choices, grammar, and cadence tell a lot about them. A character's anger can be just as evident in their spoken words as in a narrative description of their emotions.

Direct vs. Indirect Dialogue. Direct dialogue captures the exact words spoken, offering an immediate sense of the character's personality and voice. Indirect dialogue paraphrases what is said, which can be useful for summarizing less crucial conversations or allowing the narrator's more sophisticated language to convey the meaning without making the character sound unnatural. A combination often works best, providing both immediacy and narrative control.

Conversations in context. Dialogue rarely happens in a vacuum. Descriptive interruptions, such as dialogue tags ("he said, crossly") or gestural pauses (She picked up a pair of shears.), ground the conversation in its physical setting and reveal characters' actions, moods, or motives. These interruptions control the pace and can dramatically alter the reader's interpretation of the exchange, turning a simple conversation into a tense confrontation or a comedic interaction.

7. Point of View Fundamentally Shapes Descriptive Possibilities

Point of view is the perspective from which a story is told.

The most crucial choice. Point of view (POV) is the single most important decision in fiction, influencing how readers perceive the entire story. It dictates whose perspective the reader experiences, what information is available, and what kind of descriptive language is appropriate. Changing the POV of a familiar story, like Cinderella from the stepmother's perspective, drastically alters the description and interpretation of events.

First-person challenges. In first-person POV, the narrator is a character created by the author, not the author themselves. The challenge is to give the narrator their own unique voice, observations, and limitations, ensuring their descriptions reflect their specific experiences and personality. Describing the narrator's own physical appearance naturally within their voice is a common difficulty, often requiring techniques like description by association or using observant secondary characters.

Third-person variations. Third-person POV offers more flexibility. Omniscient narrators are all-knowing, able to access any character's thoughts and describe anything in the world, often with a distinct tone or perspective. Third-person-limited confines the narrative to one character's consciousness, restricting description to what that character can perceive. This creates intimacy but requires careful attention to ensure descriptions remain true to the character's world and language, avoiding authorial intrusion.

8. Descriptive Style Unifies and Enhances Story Content

A writers style is composed of hundreds of choices big and small, from point of view to sentence length to word choice.

Style evolves with the story. A writer's style isn't fixed; it should evolve and adapt to suit the specific characters and situation of each story. The style that works for one narrative might be completely wrong for another. Achieving stylistic harmony between the prose and the story's content is crucial for a polished, finished feel, often requiring significant revision across multiple drafts.

Matching or contrasting style and content. Descriptive style can either match the story's content (e.g., simple prose for a simple life) or contrast with it (e.g., lyrical prose for a mundane setting). Contrasting styles can create intriguing narrative tension and reveal deeper layers of meaning, suggesting that an ordinary situation holds extraordinary potential or that a flamboyant character harbors inner emptiness. The choice depends on the author's intention for the story's emotional impact.

Avoiding pitfalls. Whether aiming for minimalism or maximalism, consistency and intentionality are key. Minimalism, when poorly executed, can feel flat and dull; it requires exquisite detail and an inherently interesting premise to succeed. Maximalism, while allowing for expansive worlds, needs stylistic unity (like a central image or narrative voice) to prevent the story from feeling overgrown or unfocused. Both extremes, and styles in between, must avoid sentimentality and melodrama by using specific, fresh details instead of clichés and overblown modifiers.

9. Setting Must Be an Integral, Functioning Element

Description of setting is probably what Elmore Leonard meant when he said (possibly apocryphally), "I try not to write the parts people skip."

More than just backdrop. Setting should be an integral part of the story, not just a static backdrop or atmosphere that readers skip over. Effective setting description sets a tone, foreshadows events, or reflects characters' inner states, desires, or motives. It should have a memorable quality that hints at the story's meaning, like a fishing cap rolling into a photo of Mount Rushmore, making the abstract feeling of being "small" concrete.

Using relative and sensory details. To make a setting come alive, describe elements in relation to each other (e.g., a chateau contrasting with surrounding modest buildings) and engage all five senses. Describing a pond through sound rather than sight can make it more sensually alive and reveal character, as the sounds of nature contrast with the inescapable noise of the city or the character's troubled home life. Every detail should bear on the story being revealed.

Incorporating history and scale. The historical significance of a setting can reinforce conflict or illuminate themes, but should be woven in naturally, not presented as a dry history lesson. Settings can be described on a large, sweeping scale (a mountain range) or a small, intimate scale (pebbly shingles), depending on the story's needs and how the character perceives their world. Fictionalizing real places (changing names or locations slightly) can lend authenticity while avoiding factual errors and protecting real individuals.

10. Tackle Difficult Descriptions (Like Emotion) with Specificity

How your characters cry out marks the difference between heartfelt prose and schlock.

Avoiding bloodless prose. While fear of sentimentality can lead writers to hint at emotion indirectly, sometimes a story requires characters to express strong feelings directly. The key is to do so without resorting to melodrama or cliché. Describing a broken heart isn't about stating "she was sadder than she had ever been," but about showing specific, tangible details that evoke that sadness in the reader.

Specificity over abstraction. To describe emotion effectively, rely on concrete, specific details that readers can see, hear, feel, taste, or smell, rather than abstract explanations of feelings. Instead of saying a character felt nervous, describe the physical manifestations: "Every tick of the clock sounded like a gunshot." This allows readers to experience the emotion alongside the character, making it more powerful and memorable.

Show, don't just tell emotion. While the principle of showing applies broadly, it's particularly crucial for emotion. Instead of telling the reader a character is angry, show their clenched fists, narrowed eyes, or sharp words. However, avoid overdoing it to the point of parody. The most effective emotional description often combines specific physical details, evocative language (similes, metaphors), and dialogue that rings true to the character's state.

Last updated: May 19, 2025