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Don't F*cking Panic

Don't F*cking Panic

The Shit They Don't Tell You in Therapy About Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, & Depression
by Kelsey Darragh
4.00
1k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Anxiety, panic, and depression are manageable with the right tools and mindset

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts & feelings are just feelings…NOT FACTS!

Understanding mental health: Anxiety, panic, and depression are common experiences that can be effectively managed. These conditions are not character flaws or permanent states, but rather temporary experiences that can be addressed with proper techniques and support.

Developing a toolkit: The key to managing these conditions is building a diverse set of coping strategies. This includes cognitive techniques like reframing negative thoughts, physical practices like deep breathing and exercise, and lifestyle changes such as improving sleep habits and reducing caffeine intake. By developing a personalized toolkit, individuals can respond effectively to various mental health challenges as they arise.

Mindset shift: Adopting a growth mindset is crucial in managing anxiety, panic, and depression. This involves viewing challenges as opportunities for learning and growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. By recognizing that these experiences are temporary and manageable, individuals can approach their mental health with greater resilience and optimism.

2. Recognize and challenge intrusive thoughts to reduce anxiety

Intrusive thoughts can easily spiral out of reality.

Identifying intrusive thoughts: Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, often distressing thoughts that can fuel anxiety. Common themes include fear of harm, social rejection, or loss of control. Recognizing these thoughts as separate from reality is the first step in managing them.

Challenging thought patterns: Once identified, intrusive thoughts can be challenged using cognitive techniques:

  • Question the evidence supporting the thought
  • Consider alternative explanations
  • Evaluate the likelihood of the feared outcome
  • Examine the usefulness of dwelling on the thought

Mindfulness approach: Instead of engaging with or trying to suppress intrusive thoughts, practice observing them without judgment. This mindfulness technique can help reduce their emotional impact and frequency over time.

3. Implement grounding techniques to manage panic attacks

PANIC IS A VERY REAL AND INTENSE FORM OF ANXIETY, WHICH IS A COMPLETELY NORMAL RESPONSE TO STRESS.

Understanding panic attacks: Panic attacks are intense, often frightening experiences characterized by physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and dizziness. Recognizing these as temporary, non-dangerous experiences is crucial for management.

Grounding techniques: When experiencing a panic attack, grounding techniques can help regain a sense of control and calm:

  • 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste
  • Deep breathing exercises: Focus on slow, controlled breaths to regulate the body's stress response
  • Physical grounding: Feel your feet on the ground, grip a nearby object, or splash cold water on your face

Preparation and prevention: Developing a panic attack action plan can increase confidence in managing future episodes. This may include carrying comfort items, having a list of coping statements, and practicing relaxation techniques regularly.

4. Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk to combat depression

You are MORE than what you make. You are more than your career. Your productivity does not determine your value.

Cultivating self-compassion: Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. This practice can help counteract the harsh self-criticism often associated with depression.

Positive self-talk: Replacing negative self-talk with more balanced, supportive internal dialogue can significantly impact mood and motivation. Techniques include:

  • Challenging negative thoughts with evidence
  • Using affirmations and encouragement
  • Practicing gratitude for personal strengths and accomplishments

Redefining self-worth: Depression often distorts perceptions of self-worth, tying it to external achievements or others' approval. Shifting focus to intrinsic values, personal growth, and meaningful relationships can provide a more stable foundation for self-esteem.

5. Develop healthy sleep habits to improve mental well-being

Waking up really is the hardest part.

Sleep-mental health connection: Quality sleep is crucial for managing anxiety, panic, and depression. Poor sleep can exacerbate symptoms, while improving sleep habits can lead to significant improvements in mental health.

Establishing a sleep routine: Create a consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine to signal to your body that it's time to wind down. This may include:

  • Setting a regular bedtime and wake-up time
  • Creating a relaxing pre-sleep ritual (e.g., reading, gentle stretching)
  • Limiting screen time before bed
  • Creating a comfortable sleep environment

Managing sleep challenges: Address common sleep issues associated with mental health conditions:

  • Racing thoughts: Practice mindfulness or use a "worry journal" before bed
  • Difficulty falling asleep: Try progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery
  • Early morning waking: Avoid checking the time and practice relaxation techniques to fall back asleep

6. Embrace mindfulness and meditation for emotional regulation

Mindfulness is the psychological process of purposely bringing one's attention to experiences occurring in the present moment without judgment.

Understanding mindfulness: Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. This practice can help reduce anxiety, manage panic symptoms, and alleviate depression by breaking cycles of rumination and worry.

Meditation techniques: Various meditation practices can support emotional regulation:

  • Breath awareness: Focus on the sensation of breathing to anchor attention
  • Body scan: Systematically relax different parts of the body
  • Loving-kindness meditation: Cultivate feelings of compassion for self and others
  • Observing thoughts: Watch thoughts come and go without engaging with them

Integrating mindfulness into daily life: Practice informal mindfulness throughout the day by bringing full attention to routine activities like eating, walking, or brushing teeth. This helps build the skill of present-moment awareness and reduces automatic negative thinking patterns.

7. Cultivate self-confidence and combat impostor syndrome

Confidence is a SKILL. It is a learnable trait and something that you can learn at any time.

Understanding impostor syndrome: Impostor syndrome involves persistent self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy despite evidence of competence and success. Recognizing these feelings as common experiences rather than reflections of reality is the first step in overcoming them.

Building self-confidence: Develop self-confidence through practical strategies:

  • Acknowledge and celebrate accomplishments, big and small
  • Set realistic goals and track progress
  • Practice self-compassion when facing setbacks
  • Seek feedback and support from trusted others

Challenging negative beliefs: Question and reframe self-defeating thoughts:

  • Identify specific evidence that contradicts negative self-perceptions
  • Recognize that perfection is not a realistic or necessary goal
  • Embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning

8. Utilize journaling and creative outlets for emotional processing

Journaling is something I thought I'd never had time for. It sounded stupid. I thought it was a waste of space on my nightstand, something I'd get excited about for two or three days, and then it would sit there, collecting dust, like so many other self-help workbooks I'd tried to complete.

Benefits of journaling: Regular journaling can help process emotions, gain insight into thought patterns, and track progress in managing mental health. It provides a safe space for self-expression and reflection.

Journaling techniques:

  • Stream of consciousness writing to release pent-up thoughts and emotions
  • Gratitude journaling to shift focus towards positive aspects of life
  • Cognitive restructuring through writing to challenge negative thought patterns
  • Goal-setting and progress tracking to maintain motivation and celebrate achievements

Exploring creative outlets: In addition to journaling, engaging in creative activities like art, music, or writing can provide valuable emotional outlets and foster a sense of accomplishment and self-expression.

9. Establish a support system and seek professional help when needed

Therapy is the greatest gift you can give yourself. I am a firm believer that EVERYONE should go to therapy.

Building a support network: Cultivate relationships with friends, family, and peers who can provide emotional support and understanding. This network can offer perspective, encouragement, and practical assistance during difficult times.

Seeking professional help: Recognize when additional support is needed and explore options for professional mental health care:

  • Individual therapy (e.g., cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy)
  • Group therapy or support groups
  • Psychiatric evaluation for medication management if appropriate

Overcoming stigma: Challenge internalized stigma around seeking help by recognizing that mental health care is a sign of strength and self-care, not weakness or failure.

10. Embrace discomfort and face fears to overcome avoidance behaviors

The way to avoid the avoidance (lol) is with ACCEPTANCE & APPROACHING.

Understanding avoidance: Avoidance behaviors, while providing short-term relief, often reinforce anxiety and depression in the long run. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards change.

Gradual exposure: Face fears and anxiety-provoking situations through gradual, controlled exposure:

  • Create a hierarchy of feared situations from least to most anxiety-inducing
  • Start with manageable challenges and gradually work up to more difficult ones
  • Use relaxation techniques and positive self-talk during exposures

Embracing discomfort: Cultivate a willingness to experience discomfort as a path to growth and increased resilience. Reframe anxiety symptoms as signs of courage rather than danger.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.00 out of 5
Average of 1k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Don't F*cking Panic has received mixed reviews, with an overall rating of 4.00 out of 5. Many readers appreciate its relatable, honest approach to mental health, finding it helpful and insightful. The book's workbook-style format and personal anecdotes resonate with many. However, some criticize the writing style as immature or distracting. Positive reviews highlight its accessibility and practical tools, while negative reviews question its scientific basis and originality. Despite polarized opinions, many readers find value in the author's personal experiences and the book's interactive exercises.

Your rating:

About the Author

Kelsey Darragh is the author of "Don't F*cking Panic," a self-help book focused on mental health. She has a background in media, having worked as a producer for BuzzFeed and appearing in many of their videos. Darragh openly shares her struggles with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, drawing from her personal experiences to connect with readers. She is not a mental health professional but has sought therapy and developed coping strategies over time. Darragh's writing style is described as informal and relatable, often incorporating humor and pop culture references. Her approach aims to make mental health discussions more accessible and less intimidating for her audience.

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