Exactly What to Say

1. Magic Words: The Power of Precise Language in Influencing Others

Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain.

Subconscious communication. The subconscious brain plays a crucial role in decision-making, operating on a binary "yes" or "no" system without the complexity of "maybe." By using specific phrases that directly engage this part of the brain, you can significantly influence others' decisions and behaviors.

Practical application. These Magic Words are not manipulative tricks, but rather tools to enhance communication and persuasion in both personal and professional settings. They work by tapping into pre-programmed responses, making it easier for others to agree or comply with your requests. By mastering these phrases, you can become more persuasive and influential in various aspects of life, from sales and business negotiations to personal relationships.

2. Rejection-Free Introduction: "I'm Not Sure If It's for You, But..."

Opening a statement with the words, "I'm not sure if it's for you," causes the listener's subconscious brain to hear, "There's no pressure here."

Reducing resistance. This phrase is a powerful tool for introducing ideas or products without triggering the listener's defenses. By suggesting that the offer might not be suitable, you paradoxically increase their curiosity and engagement.

Psychological impact. The magic lies in the word "but" at the end of the phrase. It negates everything said before, making the listener focus on what comes after. This technique allows you to present your idea in a non-threatening manner, increasing the likelihood of a positive reception. Use this approach when:

• Introducing new products or services
• Suggesting ideas to colleagues or superiors
• Proposing plans to friends or family

3. Leveraging Open-Mindedness: Framing Choices for Agreement

Everybody wants to be open-minded.

Appealing to self-image. Most people like to think of themselves as open-minded. By framing your request or suggestion in terms of open-mindedness, you tap into this desire for a positive self-image.

Practical application. Use phrases like "How open-minded are you about..." or "Would you be open-minded about..." to introduce new ideas or proposals. This approach:

• Shifts the odds of agreement in your favor
• Makes it difficult for others to reject your idea outright
• Encourages exploration of possibilities
  Examples:
• "How open-minded would you be about trying this alternative?"
• "Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?"

4. Emotional Decision-Making: Using "How Would You Feel If...?"

People make decisions based on what feels right first. If you can make it feel right, the rest is easy.

Tapping into emotions. Decisions are primarily driven by emotions, with logic playing a secondary role. By asking "How would you feel if...?", you encourage others to imagine the emotional impact of a decision.

Creating motivation. This technique works by:

• Allowing people to visualize future scenarios
• Triggering both positive and negative emotions
• Creating a contrast between current and potential future states
  Examples:
• "How would you feel if this decision led to your promotion?"
• "How would you feel if you lost everything?"
• "How would you feel if this time next year you were debt-free, living in your dream home?"

5. Visualization Technique: The Impact of "Just Imagine..."

Creating pictures in the minds of others is done by telling stories.

Power of imagination. The phrase "Just imagine..." triggers the brain's image viewer, allowing people to vividly picture scenarios you describe. This visualization can significantly influence decision-making.

Practical application. Use this technique to:

• Paint positive future outcomes
• Illustrate potential negative consequences
• Increase belief in achieving goals
  Examples:
• "Just imagine how things will be in six months' time once you have implemented this."
• "Just imagine the smiles on your kids' faces when you tell them you've booked a trip to Disneyland."
• "Just imagine stepping up on stage and picking up that big incentive check."

6. Overcoming Time Objections: "When Would Be a Good Time?"

The preface "When would be a good time to...?" prompts the other person to assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option.

Assuming agreement. This phrase subtly shifts the conversation from whether something will happen to when it will happen. It bypasses common objections related to lack of time.

Follow-up strategy. After using this phrase:

• Be sure to schedule a specific time and date
• When following up, ask "What do you like about it?" instead of "What did you think?"
  This approach:
• Keeps the conversation positive
• Focuses on benefits rather than potential objections

7. Creating Contrast: Presenting Three Options for Decision-Making

By creating these "if... then" sandwiches, you can position guaranteed outcomes that are very difficult not to believe.

The power of three. Presenting three options allows you to guide decision-making effectively:

1. A less desirable option
2. An option that maintains the status quo
3. Your preferred option (presented last)

Psychological impact. This technique:

• Makes your preferred option seem more attractive
• Creates a sense of choice while guiding the decision
• Leverages the "if... then" structure to reinforce outcomes

Example:
"As I see it, you have three options. First, you could [less desirable option]. Second, you could [status quo option]. Or third, you could [your preferred option]. Of those three options, what's going to be easier for you?"

8. The Psychology of "Most People": Influencing Through Social Proof

When you tell people what most people would do, their subconscious brain says, "Aha, I'm most people, so if that is what most people would do, then perhaps that is what I should do too."

Leveraging social proof. People often look to others' behaviors to guide their own decisions. By using the phrase "Most people...", you tap into this psychological tendency.

Application techniques:

• Use to introduce new ideas or behaviors
• Apply when facing indecision or resistance
• Combine with specific examples or statistics for added impact
  Examples:
• "Most people in your circumstances would grab this opportunity with both hands."
• "What most people do is complete the forms with me here today."

9. Turning Negatives into Positives: The Power of "The Good News Is..."

By prefacing things with, "The good news is...," you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.

Reframing perspectives. This phrase helps shift conversations from negative to positive, changing the emotional tone and outlook of the discussion.

Practical uses:

• Addressing concerns or objections
• Presenting solutions to problems
• Motivating others in challenging situations
  Examples:
• "The good news is that we have comprehensive training you can complete at your own pace."
• "The good news is you already know that what you are doing now is not working, so what is the harm in trying this?"

10. Maintaining Control: Responding to Objections with "What Makes You Say That?"

Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions.

Regaining control. When faced with objections, asking "What makes you say that?" allows you to:

• Maintain control of the conversation
• Gain deeper understanding of the objection
• Avoid making assumptions or entering arguments

Strategic response. This approach:

• Shifts the burden of explanation to the other person
• Provides you with more information to address concerns
• Keeps the conversation open and constructive

11. Closing Techniques: From "Before You Make Your Mind Up" to "Just One More Thing"

Using these moments and the Magic Words "Just one more thing" keeps the conversation alive and can help you avoid leaving with nothing.

Keeping opportunities open. These phrases help prevent premature closure of discussions and create additional chances for agreement.

Key techniques:

1. "Before you make your mind up...": Delays final decisions and allows for additional information
2. "If I can..., will you...?": Creates conditional agreements
3. "Just one more thing...": Introduces additional offers or information when the conversation seems to be ending

Examples:

• "Before you make your mind up, let's make sure we've looked at all the facts."
• "If I can match that price for you, then would you be happy to place the order with me today?"
• "Just one more thing... would you be interested in trying a sample of our new product?"

12. The Art of Asking Favors: Leveraging Gratitude for Referrals

People say thank you when they feel they owe you something. This is the best time to ask for someone's help.

Timing is crucial. The best moment to ask for a favor, particularly a referral, is when someone expresses gratitude for your service or help.

Strategic approach:

1. Listen for expressions of gratitude (e.g., "Thank you")
2. Respond with "You couldn't do me a small favor, could you?"
3. Follow up with a specific, manageable request for a referral

Example script:
"You wouldn't happen to know just one person, someone who, just like you, would benefit from [specific benefit]?"

Follow-up strategy:

• Don't ask for contact details immediately
• Ask when they might next see the person they thought of
• Request them to share their positive experience and gauge interest
• Schedule a follow-up call to check on the progress

This approach:

• Leverages moments of goodwill
• Makes referral requests less intrusive
• Increases the likelihood of quality referrals

Last updated: January 23, 2025