Find Out Anything From Anyone, Anytime

1. Good Questioning: A Handshake, Not an Interrogation

Asking questions is an invitation to a relationship.

Building Connections. Effective questioning is not about aggression or intrusion, but about fostering connections and demonstrating genuine interest in others. It's a way to show you value their thoughts and experiences, turning a potentially tense interaction into a warm, interactive exchange.

Shifting Perspectives. Many people hesitate to ask questions, fearing they'll be perceived as nosy or intrusive. However, reframing questioning as an invitation to share and connect can alleviate these concerns. It's about creating a safe space for open communication, where people feel comfortable divulging information.

Beyond the Surface. By viewing questioning as a handshake, you open the door to deeper understanding and stronger relationships. It's about moving beyond superficial interactions and engaging with others on a more meaningful level, fostering trust and mutual respect.

2. Simple Questions, Profound Answers

Find out one thing at a time.

The Power of Simplicity. The paradox of questioning lies in the fact that simple, focused questions often yield the most detailed and insightful answers. Complex, multi-faceted questions, on the other hand, can lead to confusion and superficial responses.

Avoiding Information Overload. Adults often fall into the trap of trying to extract too much information at once, leading to rambling questions and unfocused answers. By concentrating on one specific point at a time, you can maintain clarity and avoid getting lost in a sea of irrelevant details.

The Nik Wallenda Example. The questions that arose from Nik Wallenda's tightrope walk over the Grand Canyon were simple and direct, focusing on what, when, why, and where. These straightforward inquiries formed the basis for informative stories about the man and his achievement, demonstrating the power of simplicity in questioning.

3. Interrogatives: The Foundation of Unbiased Inquiry

A good question should always start with an interrogative.

The Power of "Who, What, Where, When, Why, How". Interrogatives are the building blocks of effective questioning, prompting narrative responses rich with information. Starting questions with "Do you..." or "Could you..." often elicits simple "yes" or "no" answers, limiting the potential for deeper exploration.

Avoiding Bias. Using interrogatives well demonstrates curiosity without prejudice, while other questioning forms can reflect bias or an agenda. Neutral questions, even when pointed, can be more effective than meandering questions intended to attack or express a point of view.

Chris Wallace's Journalistic Double-Dip. Chris Wallace, known for his journalistic double-dip, exemplifies discovery questioning by asking good questions, often in pairs, to ensure he captures the full scope of information. This contrasts with compound questions, which can confuse the subject and dilute the quality of the response.

4. Discovery Areas: Mapping Your Quest for Knowledge

Questioning will be more robust in one area than another, and that could change throughout the course of the dialogue.

Four Key Areas. To organize information effectively, focus your questions on four key discovery areas: people, places, things, and events in time. This framework helps you categorize and analyze information, ensuring a comprehensive understanding of the subject.

People, Places, Things, Events.

• People: Focus on personal, professional, and relationship aspects.
• Places: Explore directions, location, appearance, layout, and function.
• Things: Consider mechanical, electronic, structural, process, conceptual, and expendable characteristics.
• Events in Time: Examine the context, causes, and consequences of events.

The Interconnectedness of Discovery Areas. While your questioning may emphasize one area, remember that all four are interconnected. A question about a person may lead to information about a place, thing, or event, creating a web of knowledge that enriches your understanding.

5. Listening and Note-Taking: The Yin and Yang of Information Gathering

Why ask the question if you don’t listen to the answer?

Active Engagement. Effective questioning requires active listening, not just passive hearing. Pay attention to both what is said and how it is said, noting vocal cues, body language, and unspoken messages.

The Perils of Multi-Tasking. In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get distracted by incoming texts or emails. However, to truly listen, you must minimize distractions and give the speaker your undivided attention.

Note-Taking as a Memory Aid. Taking notes is not just about recording information; it's about engaging your brain and enhancing your ability to recall details later. Organize your notes by discovery area (people, places, things, events) to facilitate analysis and identify gaps in your knowledge.

6. Analyzing Answers: Separating Truth from Deception

When I am listening to the answers to my questions, the responses fall into one of two categories: sellin’ or tellin’.

Actionable Intelligence. The goal of questioning is to gather actionable intelligence – information that is relevant, reliable, and practically useful. This requires careful analysis of the answers you receive, separating fact from fiction and identifying potential biases or inconsistencies.

The LIE Acronym.

• Lies: Blatantly false statements.
• Inconsistencies: Contradictions or discrepancies in the information provided.
• Evasions: Attempts to avoid answering questions directly.

Text Bridges. Be aware of "text bridges," linguistic devices that people use to skip over details or change the subject. These can be indicators of deception or simply a way of avoiding uncomfortable topics.

7. Questioning Styles: Adapting to Different Personalities

You can find out everything about anything without knowing anything!

The Integrator. This type weighs the best way to answer, seeking to clarify and offer multiple perspectives.

The Dictator. This type delivers answers definitively, often presenting personal opinions as facts.

The Commentator. This type is thorough, giving complete, sometimes overly detailed, answers.

The Evader. This type tends to sidestep questions, either due to discomfort or a unique way of processing information.

Adapting Your Approach. Tailor your questioning style to the personality of the person you're interviewing. With integrators, use repeat questions to clarify their priorities. With dictators, challenge their opinions with well-reasoned arguments. With commentators, frame your questions narrowly to avoid tangents. With evaders, use non-pertinent questions to build rapport and ease them into more sensitive topics.

8. Questioning in Life: From Sales to Relationships

You can find out everything about anything without knowing anything!

The Versatility of Questioning. The art of questioning is not limited to professional settings; it can enhance all aspects of your personal life, from building stronger relationships to making better decisions.

Parenting with Questions. Encourage your children's curiosity by asking open-ended questions that promote critical thinking and problem-solving. Avoid leading questions that stifle their creativity and independent thought.

Social Savvy. Use questions to engage others in conversation, demonstrate genuine interest, and avoid coming across as self-centered. Remember Susan RoAne's "Five-Minute Rule": if someone doesn't ask you a question within the first five minutes, it's time to move on.

9. The Power of "What Else?"

What do you know that I don’t know, that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t ask?

Uncovering Hidden Information. The question "What else?" is a powerful tool for uncovering additional details and exploring all facets of a topic. It encourages the speaker to delve deeper and reveal information they might not have initially considered important.

The "Sandwich Question". In a business context, the "sandwich question" can be used to uncover a range of problems or needs. Instead of asking about a specific issue, start with "What other problems are you having?" This approach can reveal interconnected issues and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the situation.

Enemy Interrogation. In high-stakes situations, "What else?" can be the difference between life and death. By persistently asking this question, interrogators can uncover critical information that might otherwise remain hidden.

10. Questioning as a Path to Expertise

I know you won’t believe me but the highest form of human excellence is to question oneself and others.

Beyond Memorization. Expertise is not simply about accumulating knowledge; it's about developing the ability to analyze information, identify patterns, and draw insightful conclusions. Questioning is a key tool for honing these skills.

Interrogate the News. Sharpen your questioning skills by critically evaluating news sources, identifying biases, and seeking out multiple perspectives. Don't accept information at face value; challenge assumptions and demand evidence.

The Power of Self-Inquiry. Turn your questioning skills inward to gain a deeper understanding of your own motivations, values, and goals. By asking yourself tough questions, you can identify areas for improvement and chart a course toward personal and professional growth.

Last updated: February 21, 2025