(Fuck It

1. Recognize that peace is not a future state, but achievable now

Just... relax.

Peace is present. Many people believe they'll find peace when they achieve certain goals or milestones. This "I'll be at peace when..." mentality keeps us in a constant state of striving, never truly experiencing peace. The truth is, peace is available to us right now, in this moment.

Practical relaxation. One simple way to access peace is through relaxation. Instead of complex techniques, try this: Just relax. Then go back to not being relaxed. Then relax again. Notice the difference between these states. This exercise helps train your brain to recognize and access relaxation quickly.

Mindful awareness. Developing a "thermostat" for your internal state is crucial. Regularly check in with yourself, asking "How am I feeling?" without judgment. This practice increases self-awareness and allows you to adjust your state more effectively, leading to more frequent experiences of peace.

2. Embrace the power of "F**k It" to reduce care levels

Saying 'F**k It' to anything can easily confuse you (if being 'at peace' is what you're after – and, having bought the book, there's a good chance that it is), but it can also offer a glimmer of the freedom to come when you start to care less about things; even the very things you most want.

Caring less, not careless. The concept of "F**k It" isn't about becoming apathetic or irresponsible. Instead, it's about reducing the intensity of care for things that cause unnecessary stress. This reduction in care levels can lead to greater peace and freedom.

The care tachometer. Think of your care levels like a car's tachometer:

• Too high: Straining and stressing
• Optimal range: Comfortable and effective
• Too low: Stalling into depression

The goal is to find a balance where you care enough to engage with life meaningfully, but not so much that you're constantly stressed. Saying "F**k It" helps recalibrate your care levels to this optimal range.

3. Allow yourself to experience all emotions, positive and negative

F**k It to positivity and optimism. You can give in to your inner grump, your Eeyore within. Don't resist, and see how much better you feel.

Emotional authenticity. While it's generally better to be positive, suppressing negative emotions can lead to internal conflict and stress. Allowing yourself to experience and express all emotions, including negative ones, can lead to greater overall peace.

Natural flow of emotions. When we accept our negative emotions as natural and temporary, they tend to move through us more quickly. This acceptance can lead to a more genuine and sustainable form of positivity.

Benefits of embracing all emotions:

• Reduced internal conflict
• Increased self-acceptance
• More authentic relationships
• Greater emotional resilience

4. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness in daily life

There's also the possibility of being in a thought process and being aware of the thoughts – as if from the outside – simultaneously.

Three modes of mind. The author describes three modes of mental activity:

1. Lost in thoughts
2. Aware of thoughts
3. Absence of thoughts

Cultivating awareness. By regularly observing which mode you're in, without judgment, you can develop greater self-awareness and mindfulness. This practice can lead to more frequent experiences of peace and presence.

Bringing meditation to life. Instead of formal meditation, try incorporating mindfulness into everyday activities. For example, simply sitting and drinking tea can become a powerful practice for cultivating peace and presence.

5. Accept that there will always be "somethings" disturbing your peace

There's always something...

Persistent disturbances. No matter how skilled we become at finding peace, life will always present challenges and disturbances. These "somethings" can include:

• Family issues
• Financial concerns
• Health problems
• Geo-political events
• Environmental worries
• Work-related stress

Accepting the inevitable. Rather than striving for a perfect, undisturbed peace, aim to be at peace with the fact that disturbances will occur. This acceptance paradoxically leads to a deeper, more resilient form of peace.

6. Cultivate authenticity while allowing for necessary inauthenticity

I'd be inauthentic if I didn't admit that I'm not always authentic.

Balancing authenticity. While being authentic is generally beneficial, there are times when some degree of inauthenticity is necessary or even helpful in social situations. The key is to find a balance that feels right for you.

Embracing imperfection. Recognizing that perfect authenticity is neither possible nor always desirable can lead to greater self-acceptance and peace. Allow yourself to be authentic when it matters most, and don't judge yourself harshly for moments of inauthenticity.

7. Understand peace as a space through which all experiences flow

There was this space, and the thoughts and the sounds and the feeling of the sunshine and any emotions or memories, or sights of the other people in the group, were all just gently blowing through this space, like the breeze from the sea below that was gently blowing through our seated group.

Peace as a container. Rather than seeing peace as a specific state or emotion, consider it as a space or container through which all experiences flow. This perspective allows for a more inclusive and accepting approach to life's varied experiences.

Equanimity in diversity. When we view peace in this way, we can remain equally at ease with pleasant and unpleasant experiences. Thoughts, emotions, sensations, and external events are all seen as temporary phenomena moving through the space of awareness.

Practical application:

• Practice observing your experiences without getting caught up in them
• Notice the space or awareness in which all experiences occur
• Allow experiences to come and go without resistance

8. Integrate both left and right brain hemispheres for true peace

Level 3, then, is best described as a form of 'allowing of movement' between the two hemispheres, in a perfectly natural way.

Hemispheric balance. The left brain is associated with logic, language, and future-oriented thinking, while the right brain is linked to creativity, openness, and present-moment awareness. True peace involves integrating both hemispheres.

Beyond either/or thinking. Instead of seeing peace as purely a right-brain state, aim for a fluid integration of both hemispheres. This allows for:

• Practical problem-solving and planning
• Creative insights and intuition
• Present-moment awareness
• Future-oriented goal-setting

Cultivating integration:

• Practice activities that engage both hemispheres (e.g., journaling, art, music)
• Alternate between analytical and intuitive approaches to challenges
• Develop mindfulness while engaging in logical tasks

Last updated: November 20, 2024