Get To The Top

1. Cultivate diverse interests and knowledge to become interesting

You can't be socially successful if you're not interested in things—not unless you're as gorgeous as Bollywood beauty Aishwarya Rai or as wealthy as entrepreneur Analjit Singh, in which case your money and good looks can do an 'Open sesame!' into the world of social success for you.

Be a sponge for knowledge. Read widely and voraciously, from classics to contemporary works, from serious literature to gossip magazines. This broad knowledge base will enable you to engage in diverse conversations and connect with people from all walks of life. Develop multiple interests beyond your professional domain, such as arts, culture, politics, or sports.

Seek mentors and learn from them. Find individuals who have experiences and knowledge beyond yours, and be willing to learn from them. Remember, mentors show you many paths, but ultimately, the journey and destination are yours to choose. Express gratitude to those who have helped shape your journey, as it reflects strength of character.

Areas to explore:

• Literature (classics and contemporary)
• Current affairs and politics
• Arts and culture
• Science and technology
• History and philosophy

2. Express opinions with conviction, but avoid judgement

Having opinions is the key to getting noticed.

Develop informed opinions. Form views on various topics, particularly those outside your professional domain. Your opinions should be deeply rooted in your convictions and backed by logic. Be prepared to change your stance if presented with new information, but ensure your altered opinion is equally well-founded.

Express opinions tactfully. While it's important to have and express opinions, be mindful of sensitive topics like religion, politics, or personal matters. Avoid third-party bitching or gossip, as it erodes trust. Instead, focus on praising people behind their backs and addressing concerns directly with the person involved.

Guidelines for expressing opinions:

• Be informed and logical
• Avoid sensitive topics in public settings
• Address concerns directly with the person involved
• Praise others behind their backs
• Be open to changing your stance when presented with new information

3. Build genuine relationships based on trust and equality

Friendship is ultimately more important than business.

Seek equality in relationships. Approach people as equals, regardless of their status or wealth. This attitude fosters genuine connections and mutual respect. Treat celebrities and powerful individuals with both respect and affection, as they often crave authentic interactions.

Cultivate trust through actions. Be reliable and consistent in your behavior. Honor confidences and avoid spreading gossip. When helping others, do so without expectation of return favors. These actions build a reputation for trustworthiness and integrity.

Keys to building genuine relationships:

• Approach all interactions as an equal
• Be reliable and consistent
• Honor confidences
• Help without expecting reciprocation
• Show both respect and affection to powerful individuals

4. Make friends out of clients, not clients out of friends

Work must eventually be merit driven. On the other hand, friendship is often driven by values and emotions.

Maintain professional boundaries. Keep work relationships strictly professional initially. Avoid using friendship as a means to gain business advantages. Instead, focus on providing excellent service and building trust through your work ethic and integrity.

Allow friendships to develop naturally. As you work together, shared values and mutual respect may lead to genuine friendships. These relationships will be stronger and more authentic than those formed with an ulterior motive. Remember to keep work discussions separate from personal interactions once a friendship forms.

Steps to navigate professional relationships:

1. Maintain strict professionalism initially
2. Provide excellent service and demonstrate integrity
3. Allow mutual respect and shared values to foster friendship
4. Keep work and personal interactions separate once friendship develops

5. Be helpful and loyal to strengthen friendships

Connecting people is a very useful thing. In fact, I would say it is an art that you must cultivate and if you are able to master it, be proud of this.

Cultivate a reputation for helpfulness. Assist others whenever possible, whether it's making introductions, offering advice, or providing practical help. This creates a network of goodwill and makes you a valuable connection in people's lives.

Demonstrate unwavering loyalty. Stand by your friends during challenging times, defending them publicly when necessary. Create traditions and rituals that reinforce your commitment to the relationship. This consistency builds trust and deepens bonds over time.

Ways to strengthen friendships:

• Make helpful introductions
• Offer advice or practical assistance
• Defend friends publicly when needed
• Create traditions and rituals
• Be consistent in your support

6. Honor commitments and prioritize existing relationships

Honour your commitments as much as possible, especially as you get ahead in life (which is why this rule comes so near the end). Success and popularity shouldn't blunt your good manners or your sense of what is truly important.

Respect your RSVP. Once you've accepted an invitation, honor it even if a seemingly better option comes along. This demonstrates integrity and respect for others' time and efforts. If you must attend multiple events, inform hosts in advance and manage your time accordingly.

Prioritize meaningful connections. Choose invitations based on the closeness of your relationship with the host and the significance of the occasion, rather than the potential networking opportunities. Cultivate quality relationships rather than chasing quantity.

Criteria for choosing invitations:

1. Who invited you first?
2. Who is more valuable to you long-term?
3. Who would you regret losing as a friend?
4. Who will treat you as a friend, not just a number?
5. Who will miss you if you don't show up?

7. Focus on values, not valuations, for lasting social success

Remember always that the rich and powerful ultimately want the same things as the rest of us.

Judge people by their character. Look beyond wealth, status, or influence when evaluating others. Focus on their values, beliefs, and behavior. This approach leads to more authentic and fulfilling relationships.

Maintain perspective on wealth and success. Remember that beyond a certain point, increased wealth doesn't necessarily lead to increased happiness or enjoyment. Cultivate an "enjoyment quotient" that isn't solely dependent on material possessions.

Keys to value-based social success:

• Judge people by their character, not their wealth or status
• Recognize that everyone ultimately seeks similar things in life
• Cultivate relationships based on shared values and mutual respect
• Maintain connections with old friends who knew you before success
• Create a welcoming environment that values laughter and happiness over material considerations

Last updated: September 20, 2024