Getting Your Baby to Sleep the Baby Sleep Trainer Way

1. Sleep training is crucial for both baby and parents' well-being

For anyone who has already read a stack of books, believe me, I know there's a lot of information out there, and I also know that sleep experts tend to come across as extremely authoritative, making you feel like their way is the only way.

Sleep is essential. Proper sleep training benefits both the baby and parents by ensuring restful nights and healthy development. The Baby Sleep Trainer Method focuses on teaching children to fall asleep independently, which is the foundation for resolving most sleep issues. This approach works for almost every child when applied consistently, usually resulting in less overall crying compared to other popular methods.

Evidence-based approach. The method is backed by scientific research on infant sleep patterns and development. It takes into account the differences between newborn and adult sleep cycles, as well as the importance of melatonin production in regulating sleep. By understanding these biological factors, parents can better address their child's sleep needs and create an effective training plan.

2. Consistent bedtime routine and environment are key to success

There should be no "until." Simply operate under the assumption that you're physically unable to help your child fall asleep.

Create an optimal sleep environment. Ensure the baby's room is as dark as possible, use true white noise, employ a video monitor, and provide a safe crib or playpen-style portable crib. These elements help create a consistent and conducive sleep environment, promoting better quality and longer-lasting sleep.

Establish a bedtime routine. Develop a brief, consistent bedtime routine that signals to the baby it's time to sleep. This may include:

• A final feeding 30 minutes before bedtime
• Changing into pajamas
• A brief story or song
• A five-minute soothing period before placing the baby in the crib awake

3. Crying during sleep training is normal and not harmful

Literally every form of sleep training is Cry It Out.

Understanding crying. Crying during sleep training is inevitable as the baby adjusts to falling asleep independently. It's important to recognize that this crying is not harmful when done in a controlled, loving environment. The baby's cries trigger biological responses in parents, especially mothers, which can make the process emotionally challenging.

Address concerns about cortisol. While crying may temporarily increase cortisol levels, there is no evidence that sleep training causes long-term harm. In fact, chronic sleep deprivation is more likely to cause sustained elevated cortisol levels and associated health issues. Research consistently shows that sleep training in families with healthy attachments causes no emotional damage in the immediate, short, or long term.

4. Start sleep training at bedtime, not naptime

Sleep training should only begin at bedtime, never at naptime.

Bedtime is optimal. Starting sleep training at bedtime takes advantage of the body's natural circadian rhythms and increased melatonin production, making it easier for the baby to fall asleep. This approach sets the foundation for successful nighttime sleep and makes subsequent nap training more effective.

Consistent check-in intervals. Use timed check-ins, ideally at least 10-15 minutes apart, to reassure the baby without interfering with their ability to fall asleep independently. Key points for check-ins:

• Set a timer for each interval
• Keep interactions brief (about 30 seconds)
• Avoid picking up the baby during checks
• Restart the timer if the baby takes a break in crying

5. Nap training should be done simultaneously with nighttime training

I implore you not to put your child through any type of sleep training unless you are able and willing to nap and nighttime train at the same time.

Importance of simultaneous training. Nap training concurrently with nighttime training reinforces the skill of falling asleep independently and prevents confusion for the baby. This approach leads to more consistent and lasting results, even though it may be more challenging initially.

Nap training guidelines:

• Start the day between 6:30 and 7:00 AM
• Begin the first nap around 8:30 AM for three-nap schedules
• Don't allow naps past 4:00 PM
• Use the same soothing technique as bedtime
• Give the baby one hour to attempt falling asleep
• Adjust nap schedules based on the baby's age and needs

6. Transitioning to fewer naps requires patience and consistency

Once sleep training is complete, there will come a time when you need to transition to fewer naps. Anytime you make that shift, your child may be tired throughout the process.

Recognizing transition signs. Look for signs that your child is ready to transition to fewer naps, such as:

• Not falling asleep for all scheduled naps
• Struggling to fall asleep at bedtime or waking at night
• Naps extending past 4:00 PM

Gradual transition process. When transitioning from three to two naps or two to one nap, be consistent and patient. The process can take 7-10 days for the three-to-two transition and up to 30 days for the two-to-one transition. Avoid reverting to the previous nap schedule during this period, even if the child seems tired.

7. Adapt sleep training methods for children in beds

When clients call asking for help training their kiddos who are no longer in cribs, I inform them that training older toddlers is more "dramatic (for the child) and traumatic (for the parents)" than working with babies, but with the added benefit of the entire process usually working much more quickly.

Prepare the environment. For children transitioning to beds, ensure the room is completely childproofed:

• Bolt furniture to walls
• Remove potential hazards
• Secure light fixtures
• Use a video monitor for constant observation

Containment strategies. Be prepared to keep the child in their room using methods such as:

• Installing a gate at the door
• Using a toddler safety doorknob cover
• Employing a lock facing the hallway (with pediatrician approval)

8. Address common sleep training issues with confidence

For anyone who is currently debating whether to hire a nanny or put baby in daycare, I would encourage you to select the first option if it's within your means.

Handling specific challenges. Be prepared to address common issues that may arise during sleep training:

• Babies flipping to their stomachs (consult pediatrician)
• Maintaining milk supply during training
• Odd sleeping positions or getting "stuck"
• Early morning wakings
• Vomiting (rare, but consult pediatrician if it occurs)

Daycare considerations. If possible, choose a nanny over daycare for better sleep management. If daycare is necessary, work closely with providers to maintain consistent sleep practices and environment.

9. Maintain sleep habits during illness, teething, and travel

No matter what is causing a nighttime waking, do not help your child fall back to sleep.

Consistency is key. During illnesses, teething, or travel, maintain the core principle of allowing the child to fall asleep independently. Provide comfort and care as needed, but avoid helping the child fall asleep, as this can lead to regression in sleep training progress.

Travel tips:

• Pack a white noise machine, painter's tape, and tinfoil for creating a dark sleep environment
• Prioritize naps in the designated sleep space when possible
• Return to consistent independent sleep practices as soon as you return home

Last updated: August 8, 2024