Growing Up Laughing

1. Growing up surrounded by comedy legends shaped Marlo Thomas's life and career

"I was a lucky kid to have a seat at the table (often our dinner table) with those comic warriors who had the audacity to stand up in a room full of strangers with the conviction that they could bring them all together in laughter."

A childhood immersed in comedy: Marlo Thomas grew up in a household where laughter was a constant companion. Her father, Danny Thomas, was a renowned comedian, and their home was often filled with other comedy legends like Milton Berle, Sid Caesar, and George Burns.

Learning from the best: These comedic giants became Marlo's unofficial mentors, teaching her the intricacies of timing, delivery, and the power of a well-crafted joke. She observed their performances, both on stage and in casual settings, absorbing their techniques and understanding the dedication required to succeed in the entertainment industry.

The impact on her career: This unique upbringing laid the foundation for Marlo's own successful career in comedy and acting. It provided her with invaluable insights into the craft and a deep appreciation for the art of making people laugh, which she would later apply to her own work in television and on stage.

2. The power of laughter in family dynamics and personal relationships

"He couldn't let go of my boyfriends, even after I had."

Laughter as a bonding tool: In the Thomas household, humor was not just a profession but a way of life. It served as a means of communication, conflict resolution, and strengthening family bonds.

Humor in challenging situations: Marlo recounts numerous instances where her father used humor to diffuse tense situations or to cope with difficult times. This approach to life's challenges taught her the value of finding levity even in the darkest moments.

The lasting impact: The ability to share laughter became a crucial element in Marlo's personal relationships, influencing her choice of partners and friends. It also shaped her approach to parenting and maintaining strong family ties throughout her life.

3. Breaking gender barriers in the entertainment industry

"I wanted to do a show where the girl is 'the someone'."

Challenging stereotypes: Marlo Thomas's groundbreaking television series, "That Girl," was one of the first to portray an independent, career-driven woman as the main character. This was a significant departure from the traditional roles assigned to women in media at the time.

Facing resistance: The concept for "That Girl" was initially met with skepticism from network executives who doubted that audiences would be interested in such a character. However, Marlo's persistence and belief in the project ultimately led to its success.

Paving the way for future generations: The show's success opened doors for more diverse representations of women in entertainment, inspiring future creators and actresses to push boundaries and tell stories that reflected the changing roles of women in society.

4. The evolution of comedy: From vaudeville to modern stand-up

"Comedy is like smells. It's like a cologne counter at a department store. People just pick up the little tester bottles and say, 'I hate this one, I love this one . . .' There's really no rhyme or reason to any of it."

Changing styles: Marlo observed firsthand the transition from vaudeville-style comedy to more modern forms of stand-up. Her father's generation relied heavily on physical comedy and scripted routines, while newer comedians began to explore more personal and observational styles.

Technological influences: The advent of television and later, the internet, dramatically changed how comedy was consumed and created. Marlo witnessed and participated in this evolution, adapting her own style to suit changing audience preferences.

Diverse approaches: Through her interactions with various comedians, Marlo gained an appreciation for the many different approaches to comedy, from one-liners to long-form storytelling, and how each comedian developed their unique voice.

5. The art of storytelling and character development in comedy

"I somehow took that as my marching orders. The next night when the doorbell rang, I beat my mother to the door, and told Mrs. Spear, 'If you ring our doorbell one more time my father's going to give you a piece of his mind.' Mother was mortified. Dad got a kick out of it."

The power of observation: Many of the comedians Marlo encountered drew their material from keen observations of everyday life. They had the ability to find humor in ordinary situations and transform them into compelling stories.

Creating memorable characters: Comedians like Lily Tomlin and Whoopi Goldberg demonstrated the importance of creating fully-realized characters that resonated with audiences. These characters often served as vehicles for social commentary or exploration of universal human experiences.

Personal experiences as source material: Marlo learned that the most authentic and relatable comedy often came from personal experiences. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock excelled at turning their own lives into comedic gold.

6. The impact of personal experiences on comedic material

"Comedy comes out of anger. Comedy comes out of 'I'll show you.' Comedy comes out of 'You'll be sorry.' The minute somebody is having a wonderful, soft life, they're not so funny anymore."

Turning pain into laughter: Many comedians Marlo encountered used humor as a coping mechanism for dealing with difficult life experiences. This ability to find humor in adversity often resulted in powerful and relatable material.

The outsider's perspective: Comedians frequently drew from feelings of being different or not fitting in. This outsider's perspective allowed them to view society from a unique angle, leading to insightful and often hilarious observations.

Evolution of material: As comedians' lives changed, so did their material. Marlo observed how comedians like Joan Rivers and Robin Williams adapted their acts to reflect their personal growth and changing circumstances.

7. Balancing fame, family, and social activism

"Free to Be . . . You and Me became more than we had imagined, first a record, then a book, then an ABC-TV special—which turned out to be the most difficult version."

Leveraging fame for social good: Marlo used her celebrity status to champion causes close to her heart, most notably gender equality and children's rights. Her "Free to Be... You and Me" project became a cultural touchstone, promoting inclusivity and challenging gender stereotypes.

Navigating personal and professional life: As the daughter of a famous comedian and a successful actress in her own right, Marlo had to find ways to balance her public persona with her private life. This included managing relationships, starting a family, and maintaining her own identity separate from her famous father.

Collaboration and activism: Marlo's work often involved collaborating with other entertainers and activists to create meaningful change. Her friendships with figures like Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug influenced her approach to combining entertainment with social activism.

8. The importance of timing and delivery in comedy

"Dad always reminded me of a matador. Often when he was telling a story, he would make a turn, spin off course and back himself into a corner—seemingly a dead end. I'd wonder how he'd ever get back, and then he'd masterfully whip the cape of his wit, make another turn and bring the house down."

Mastering the pause: Marlo observed how comedians like Jack Benny and Bob Newhart used strategic pauses to build anticipation and enhance the impact of their punchlines. Timing was often as crucial as the content of the joke itself.

Reading the audience: Successful comedians demonstrated an uncanny ability to read their audience and adjust their delivery accordingly. This skill allowed them to maintain control of the room and maximize laughs.

The art of the callback: Many comedians excelled at the callback technique, referencing earlier jokes to create a sense of continuity and reward attentive listeners. This demonstrated the importance of crafting a cohesive set rather than just a series of unconnected jokes.

9. The role of self-deprecation and vulnerability in humor

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."

Connecting through shared experiences: Comedians like Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin showed Marlo how self-deprecating humor could create an instant connection with audiences. By poking fun at their own flaws and insecurities, they made themselves more relatable and likable.

Vulnerability as strength: Many successful comedians were willing to expose their vulnerabilities on stage. This openness often led to more authentic and impactful performances, as audiences responded to the comedian's honesty.

Balancing self-deprecation: While self-deprecating humor could be effective, Marlo also learned the importance of maintaining a balance. Too much self-criticism could undermine a comedian's confidence and alienate the audience.

10. The lasting influence of comedy pioneers on modern entertainers

"I guess we all do this with our parents in some way. I had never seen my dad as needing any help—certainly not from me. What could I have ever given him, anyway?"

Passing the torch: Marlo witnessed firsthand how the techniques and styles of comedy pioneers were passed down to newer generations of comedians. Many modern comics, like Tina Fey and Conan O'Brien, openly acknowledge their debt to earlier comedians.

Evolving traditions: While respecting the legacy of their predecessors, modern comedians also found ways to adapt traditional techniques to contemporary audiences. This evolution ensured that comedy remained relevant and fresh.

The importance of mentorship: Many established comedians took on mentorship roles, guiding and supporting up-and-coming talents. This tradition of nurturing new talent helped maintain the vitality and diversity of the comedy world.

Last updated: January 25, 2025