Help Thanks Wow

1. Prayer is simple: Help, Thanks, Wow

Prayer is private, even when we pray with others. It is communication from the heart to that which surpasses understanding.

Prayer demystified. At its core, prayer is a simple, honest communication with something greater than ourselves. It doesn't require fancy words or rituals, just an openness to connect. The three essential prayers - Help, Thanks, and Wow - cover the spectrum of human experience and emotion:

• Help: Acknowledging our need and vulnerability
• Thanks: Expressing gratitude for life's blessings
• Wow: Recognizing moments of awe and wonder

These prayers can be adapted to any belief system or worldview, making them accessible to everyone. They provide a framework for navigating life's challenges, celebrating its joys, and finding meaning in the everyday.

2. "Help" is the first great prayer in times of need

Sometimes the first time we pray, we cry out in the deepest desperation, "God help me." This is a great prayer, as we are then at our absolutely most degraded and isolated, which means we are nice and juicy with the consequences of our best thinking and are thus possibly teachable.

Vulnerability leads to growth. Asking for help is often seen as a sign of weakness, but it's actually a powerful first step towards healing and change. When we reach our lowest points, we're forced to confront our limitations and open ourselves to new possibilities.

• Benefits of asking for help:
  • Humility: Recognizing we can't do everything alone
  • Connection: Allowing others to support us
  • Perspective: Gaining new insights on our situation

By admitting we need help, we create space for unexpected solutions and grace to enter our lives. It's in these moments of surrender that we often find the strength to move forward.

3. Gratitude transforms our perspective and actions

Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides.

Thankfulness breeds generosity. Cultivating gratitude is more than just feeling good about what we have - it's a catalyst for positive change in our lives and the world around us. When we truly appreciate the blessings in our lives, it naturally leads to a desire to give back and help others.

• Ways gratitude changes us:
  • Shifts focus from lack to abundance
  • Increases empathy and compassion
  • Motivates acts of kindness and service

Practicing gratitude regularly can transform our outlook, relationships, and overall well-being. It's a powerful antidote to negativity and selfishness, reminding us of our interconnectedness with others.

4. "Wow" connects us to wonder and awe in life

"Wow" means we are not dulled to wonder. We click into being fully present when we're stunned into that gasp, by the sight of a birth, or images of the World Trade Center towers falling, or the experience of being in a fjord, at dawn, for the first time.

Cultivate childlike wonder. In our busy, often cynical world, it's easy to lose touch with the sense of awe that makes life magical. The "Wow" prayer is about reconnecting with that childlike ability to be amazed by the world around us.

• Sources of "Wow" moments:
  • Nature: Sunsets, mountains, oceans
  • Art: Music, paintings, architecture
  • Human connection: Acts of kindness, love, forgiveness

By staying open to these moments of wonder, we become more present and appreciative of life's beauty. This state of awe can lead to increased happiness, creativity, and a sense of connection to something greater than ourselves.

5. Accepting our brokenness opens us to grace

My belief is that when you're telling the truth, you're close to God. If you say to God, "I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don't like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You," that might be the most honest thing you've ever said.

Honesty heals. There's a powerful liberation in admitting our flaws, doubts, and struggles. By accepting our brokenness, we create space for healing and growth. This radical honesty allows us to:

• Let go of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations
• Connect more authentically with others
• Experience grace and forgiveness

When we stop trying to hide our imperfections, we open ourselves to genuine transformation. This acceptance of our humanity, with all its messiness, is often the first step towards spiritual and emotional growth.

6. Letting go allows for spiritual growth

On a note, I write down the name of the person about whom I am so distressed or angry, or describe the situation that is killing me, with which I am so toxically, crazily obsessed, and I fold the note up, stick it in the box and close it.

Release control. The practice of letting go is essential for spiritual growth and emotional well-being. By symbolically releasing our worries, grudges, and obsessions, we create space for new possibilities and peace in our lives.

• Benefits of letting go:
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Improved relationships
  • Increased focus on the present moment

Techniques like the "God box" described by Lamott provide a tangible way to practice surrender. By physically writing down our concerns and placing them in a box, we're reminded that we don't have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.

7. Art and nature reveal the sacred in everyday life

In art, we feel the breath of the invisible, of the eternal—which Elie Wiesel described in Night as "that time when question and answer would become ONE."

Find transcendence in beauty. Art and nature have the power to connect us with something greater than ourselves. They offer glimpses of the eternal and sacred within the everyday world. By engaging with art and spending time in nature, we can:

• Experience moments of transcendence and awe
• Gain new perspectives on life's challenges
• Connect with our inner selves and others

Whether it's a breathtaking landscape, a moving piece of music, or a powerful work of visual art, these experiences can serve as gateways to spiritual insights and emotional healing.

8. Community and service are essential to healing

Love flowed to them from their closest people, and from their community, surrounded them, sat with them, held them, fed them, swept their floors. Time passed. In most cases, their pain evolved slowly into help for others.

Connection heals. Human beings are inherently social creatures, and our connections with others play a crucial role in our healing and growth. When we're struggling, the support of a community can provide:

• Emotional comfort and understanding
• Practical help with daily tasks
• A sense of belonging and purpose

Moreover, as we heal, the act of helping others can become a powerful source of meaning and continued growth. By turning our pain into service, we not only help ourselves but contribute to the healing of the wider community.

9. Hope persists even in life's darkest moments

Even though I often remember my pastor saying that God always makes a way out of no way, periodically something awful happens, and I think that this time God has met Her match—a child dies, or a young father is paralyzed. Nothing can possibly make things okay again.

Resilience in adversity. Life often presents us with seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaking losses. In these moments, it can feel impossible to find hope or meaning. However, even in the darkest times:

• Small acts of kindness can provide comfort
• Unexpected beauty can emerge from pain
• The human spirit shows remarkable resilience

While hope doesn't erase tragedy or guarantee a happy ending, it provides the strength to keep moving forward. It's about finding meaning and moments of grace even in the midst of suffering.

10. Humor and irreverence can coexist with faith

A certain priest friend of mine who spends too much time in the Old Testament says that all prayers should include the hope that the children of one's enemies end up living in the streets.

Laughter as spiritual practice. Lamott's writing demonstrates that humor and irreverence can be integral parts of a spiritual life. By approaching faith with a sense of humor, we can:

• Avoid taking ourselves too seriously
• Find joy and lightness even in difficult times
• Make spirituality more accessible and relatable

This approach doesn't diminish the depth or sincerity of faith, but rather makes it more human and approachable. It reminds us that spiritual growth isn't always solemn and serious - it can also be playful and filled with laughter.

Last updated: January 22, 2025