Facebook Pixel
Searching...
English
EnglishEnglish
EspañolSpanish
简体中文Chinese
FrançaisFrench
DeutschGerman
日本語Japanese
PortuguêsPortuguese
ItalianoItalian
한국어Korean
РусскийRussian
NederlandsDutch
العربيةArabic
PolskiPolish
हिन्दीHindi
Tiếng ViệtVietnamese
SvenskaSwedish
ΕλληνικάGreek
TürkçeTurkish
ไทยThai
ČeštinaCzech
RomânăRomanian
MagyarHungarian
УкраїнськаUkrainian
Bahasa IndonesiaIndonesian
DanskDanish
SuomiFinnish
БългарскиBulgarian
עבריתHebrew
NorskNorwegian
HrvatskiCroatian
CatalàCatalan
SlovenčinaSlovak
LietuviųLithuanian
SlovenščinaSlovenian
СрпскиSerbian
EestiEstonian
LatviešuLatvian
فارسیPersian
മലയാളംMalayalam
தமிழ்Tamil
اردوUrdu
How Rude!

How Rude!

The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out
by Alex J. Packer 2014 505 pages
4.14
100+ ratings
Listen

Key Takeaways

1. Good manners are essential for personal and societal success

"Good manners are good for you."

Social lubricant. Manners serve as a social lubricant, reducing friction in interactions and making life smoother for everyone. They put people at ease, impress others, and build self-esteem. Good manners are not just about following arbitrary rules, but about showing respect and consideration for others.

Career and life benefits. People with good manners are more likely to succeed in their personal and professional lives. They are seen as more trustworthy, reliable, and pleasant to be around. This can lead to better job opportunities, stronger relationships, and a more positive social life.

Key benefits of good manners:

  • Put people at ease
  • Impress others
  • Build self-esteem
  • Improve career prospects
  • Strengthen relationships

2. Respect and consideration form the foundation of etiquette

"Because it's not that big a deal, children whose parents refuse to follow the above advice should make their beds."

Mutual respect. The core of etiquette is not about rigid rules, but about showing respect and consideration for others. It's about thinking of how your actions affect those around you and adjusting your behavior accordingly.

Flexibility and context. Good manners require flexibility and awareness of context. What's appropriate in one situation may not be in another. The key is to be mindful of others' feelings and comfort, and to act in a way that promotes harmony and positive interactions.

Principles of respectful behavior:

  • Consider others' feelings
  • Be aware of cultural differences
  • Adapt to different situations
  • Show empathy and understanding
  • Prioritize harmony in interactions

3. Social interactions require thoughtful communication and behavior

"Introductions are simply a social shorthand."

First impressions matter. How you introduce yourself and others, greet people, and behave in social situations can significantly impact how you're perceived. Mastering the art of introductions, small talk, and polite conversation can open doors and create positive connections.

Non-verbal communication. Body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are just as important as words in social interactions. Being aware of these non-verbal cues can help you navigate social situations more effectively and avoid unintentional offense.

Key aspects of social etiquette:

  • Proper introductions
  • Handshaking etiquette
  • Small talk skills
  • Body language awareness
  • Respectful listening

4. Family dynamics benefit from polite and considerate conduct

"Home should be the place where you feel safe and loved, relaxed and accepted."

Mutual respect at home. Applying good manners within the family can significantly improve home life. Treating family members with the same courtesy you'd extend to strangers can foster a more harmonious and pleasant living environment.

Conflict resolution. Even in families, disagreements are inevitable. Using polite communication and considerate behavior can help resolve conflicts more effectively and maintain positive relationships. This includes listening actively, expressing oneself calmly, and being willing to compromise.

Family etiquette guidelines:

  • Use "please" and "thank you" with family members
  • Respect privacy and personal space
  • Contribute to household chores without being asked
  • Communicate openly and respectfully
  • Show appreciation for family members' efforts

5. Hosting and guesting have specific etiquette guidelines

"Get to know as many people as you can who own beautiful vacation homes."

Hosting with grace. Being a good host involves making your guests feel comfortable and welcome. This includes preparing adequately, being attentive to their needs, and creating a pleasant atmosphere. Good hosts anticipate their guests' needs and go the extra mile to ensure their comfort.

Being a considerate guest. As a guest, your role is to show appreciation, follow house rules, and be as little trouble as possible. This includes being punctual, bringing a small gift if appropriate, and offering to help when possible.

Hosting and guesting tips:

  • Communicate clearly about arrival and departure times
  • Be mindful of dietary restrictions and preferences
  • Offer and accept help graciously
  • Respect the host's home and belongings
  • Express gratitude sincerely

6. School and public spaces demand respectful behavior

"Bullying thrives on having an audience."

Classroom etiquette. Showing respect for teachers and fellow students creates a better learning environment for everyone. This includes being punctual, participating actively but politely, and avoiding disruptive behavior.

Public space conduct. In shared spaces like public transportation, streets, and stores, considerate behavior helps maintain social harmony. This involves being aware of your surroundings, respecting others' personal space, and following established rules and norms.

School and public etiquette guidelines:

  • Be punctual and prepared for class
  • Respect others' personal space
  • Use appropriate volume in public spaces
  • Follow rules and signage in public areas
  • Stand up against bullying and disrespectful behavior

7. Friendships and romantic relationships thrive with good manners

"Flirting makes people feel valued, flattered, attractive, and respected."

Nurturing friendships. Good manners in friendships involve being reliable, supportive, and respectful. This includes being a good listener, keeping confidences, and showing appreciation for your friends.

Navigating romance. In romantic relationships, good manners can help build trust, respect, and mutual understanding. This involves clear communication, respecting boundaries, and showing consideration for your partner's feelings and needs.

Friendship and relationship etiquette:

  • Be a good listener
  • Respect privacy and boundaries
  • Show appreciation and gratitude
  • Communicate clearly and respectfully
  • Be reliable and keep your commitments

8. Table manners are crucial for social dining experiences

"Basic Table Manners"

Universal dining etiquette. Proper table manners are essential in both casual and formal dining situations. They show respect for your hosts, fellow diners, and the effort put into preparing the meal. Basic table manners include using utensils correctly, chewing with your mouth closed, and engaging in polite conversation.

Navigating formal settings. In more formal dining situations, understanding the place setting and the order of courses can help you feel more confident and avoid embarrassment. Remember to start with utensils from the outside and work your way in as the meal progresses.

Key table manners:

  • Use utensils from the outside in
  • Place your napkin on your lap
  • Don't talk with your mouth full
  • Wait for everyone to be served before eating
  • Express gratitude to the host or chef

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.14 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

How Rude! receives mostly positive reviews for its humorous and engaging approach to teaching etiquette to teenagers. Readers appreciate its comprehensive coverage of modern manners, including online behavior. The book's wit and relatable content make it appealing to both teens and adults. Some reviewers caution about mature content for younger teens. Critics note occasional forced humor and patronizing tone. Overall, the book is praised for its practical advice, entertaining style, and relevance to contemporary teenage life, making it a valuable resource for parents, educators, and teens alike.

Your rating:

About the Author

Alex J. Packer is an accomplished educator and author specializing in adolescent development and substance abuse prevention. He holds a Ph.D. in educational and developmental psychology from Boston College and a master's degree in education from Harvard. Packer's professional experience includes serving as headmaster of an alternative school for pre-teens and teens, and as director of education at the Capital Children's Museum. He is also president emeritus of FCD Educational Services, an organization that provides drug education and substance abuse prevention services to schools worldwide. Packer's background in psychology and education, combined with his extensive work with young people, informs his approach to writing about etiquette and behavior for teenagers.

Download PDF

To save this How Rude! summary for later, download the free PDF. You can print it out, or read offline at your convenience.
Download PDF
File size: 0.54 MB     Pages: 9

Download EPUB

To read this How Rude! summary on your e-reader device or app, download the free EPUB. The .epub digital book format is ideal for reading ebooks on phones, tablets, and e-readers.
Download EPUB
File size: 3.28 MB     Pages: 8
0:00
-0:00
1x
Dan
Andrew
Michelle
Lauren
Select Speed
1.0×
+
200 words per minute
Create a free account to unlock:
Bookmarks – save your favorite books
History – revisit books later
Ratings – rate books & see your ratings
Unlock unlimited listening
Your first week's on us!
Today: Get Instant Access
Listen to full summaries of 73,530 books. That's 12,000+ hours of audio!
Day 4: Trial Reminder
We'll send you a notification that your trial is ending soon.
Day 7: Your subscription begins
You'll be charged on Nov 28,
cancel anytime before.
Compare Features Free Pro
Read full text summaries
Summaries are free to read for everyone
Listen to summaries
12,000+ hours of audio
Unlimited Bookmarks
Free users are limited to 10
Unlimited History
Free users are limited to 10
What our users say
30,000+ readers
“...I can 10x the number of books I can read...”
“...exceptionally accurate, engaging, and beautifully presented...”
“...better than any amazon review when I'm making a book-buying decision...”
Save 62%
Yearly
$119.88 $44.99/yr
$3.75/mo
Monthly
$9.99/mo
Try Free & Unlock
7 days free, then $44.99/year. Cancel anytime.
Settings
Appearance