How to Age (The School of Life)

1. Ageing is a lifelong process, not confined to later years

We're all ageing from the moment we're born: you could say that birth causes age – ageing certainly isn't possible without it.

Ageing begins at birth. This perspective shift helps us understand that ageing is not something that suddenly happens when we reach a certain threshold, but a continuous process throughout our lives. It affects everyone, regardless of their current age.

Ageing is multifaceted. It involves physical, psychological, and social changes that occur over time. These changes can be both positive and negative, offering opportunities for growth as well as challenges to overcome.

• Physical changes: Gradual alterations in appearance, strength, and health
• Psychological changes: Evolving cognitive abilities, emotional maturity, and life perspectives
• Social changes: Shifting roles, relationships, and societal expectations

2. Fear of ageing is culturally conditioned and can be overcome

We've created a new stereotype – that of the mobile, healthy and affluent 'new old', which at the same time demonizes the immobile, sick and poor 'old old'.

Cultural narratives shape our fears. Western societies often portray ageing as a process of decline, loss, and irrelevance. This negative framing contributes to widespread fear and anxiety about growing older.

Overcoming ageism requires awareness. By recognizing how cultural attitudes influence our perceptions of ageing, we can begin to challenge and change them. This involves:

• Questioning media portrayals of older adults
• Examining our own biases and assumptions about ageing
• Seeking out positive role models and stories of successful ageing

Reframing ageing as opportunity. Instead of viewing ageing solely as a process of decline, we can choose to see it as a time of continued growth, learning, and self-discovery. This shift in perspective can help alleviate fears and promote a more positive approach to growing older.

3. Embracing age offers opportunities for growth and fulfillment

Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene, but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age.

Later life can be vibrant. Contrary to popular belief, growing older doesn't necessarily mean a decline in passion, creativity, or engagement with life. Many people find that their later years bring new opportunities for self-expression and personal growth.

Embracing age brings benefits:

• Increased self-awareness and acceptance
• Greater emotional stability and resilience
• Accumulated wisdom and life experience
• Freedom from societal expectations and pressures

Continued learning and exploration. Older adults can continue to develop new skills, pursue interests, and contribute to their communities. Examples include:

• Taking up new hobbies or creative pursuits
• Volunteering or mentoring younger generations
• Traveling and experiencing different cultures
• Engaging in lifelong learning through classes or self-study

4. Intergenerational connections combat ageism and enrich lives

If we have a wide range of age contacts, we stay vital and engaged for longer. And the more contact that young people have with older people, the more favourably they regard them, and the more positively they view their own ageing.

Breaking age barriers benefits all. Intergenerational relationships and interactions help combat ageism by fostering understanding and empathy between different age groups. These connections enrich the lives of both younger and older individuals.

Benefits of intergenerational connections:

• For older adults: Increased sense of purpose, reduced isolation, opportunities to share wisdom
• For younger people: Access to different perspectives, mentorship, reduced fear of ageing
• For society: Increased social cohesion, reduced age-based discrimination

Fostering intergenerational connections:

• Encourage family interactions across generations
• Promote intergenerational programs in schools and communities
• Create shared spaces that welcome people of all ages
• Support mentorship programs pairing older and younger individuals

5. Gender stereotypes impact ageing experiences differently

Increasing numbers of middle-aged women now have the startled look caused by a facelift – as if they're puzzling to remember what they really look like.

Gendered ageism persists. Society often judges women more harshly for showing signs of ageing, leading to increased pressure to maintain a youthful appearance. Men, while not immune to ageism, generally face different expectations and challenges as they age.

Impact on women:

• Greater emphasis on physical appearance and "anti-ageing" efforts
• Earlier onset of age-related discrimination in the workplace
• Societal devaluation of post-menopausal women

Impact on men:

• Pressure to maintain vigor and productivity
• Challenges to traditional masculine identities in retirement
• Increased focus on physical appearance in recent years

Challenging gendered ageism:

• Promoting diverse representations of ageing in media
• Addressing workplace discrimination based on age and gender
• Encouraging both men and women to embrace natural ageing processes

6. Accepting mortality enhances life quality at all ages

Practising remembering death: it's an intriguing idea and an eminently sensible one.

Confronting mortality brings clarity. By acknowledging and accepting the finite nature of life, we can gain a greater appreciation for our experiences and make more intentional choices about how we live.

Benefits of accepting mortality:

• Increased focus on what truly matters in life
• Reduced anxiety about ageing and death
• Greater motivation to live fully in the present
• Enhanced ability to find meaning and purpose

Strategies for embracing mortality:

• Engage in reflective practices like meditation or journaling
• Have open conversations about death and dying with loved ones
• Participate in death-positive movements or events (e.g., Death Cafes)
• Consider end-of-life planning to alleviate future anxieties

7. Viewing life as a continuous arc promotes better ageing

To care for the ageing, he insists, we need to 'make ourselves available to the experience of becoming old … [to allow] an old man or woman to come alive in the center of our own existence.'

Life as a continuous journey. Seeing our lives as a connected whole, rather than discrete stages, helps us prepare for and embrace the ageing process. This perspective encourages us to develop skills and attitudes that will serve us throughout our lives.

Benefits of the life arc perspective:

• Greater continuity of identity across life stages
• Improved preparation for future challenges and transitions
• Enhanced ability to draw on past experiences and wisdom

Cultivating a life arc mindset:

• Reflect on how past experiences have shaped your present self
• Imagine your future self and consider what you can do now to support them
• Develop skills and interests that can be sustained throughout life
• Maintain connections with people of different ages to see life's continuity

8. Challenging ageist stereotypes leads to societal change

Increasingly, casual ageism and discrimination against older women – and men – is being named and challenged.

Awareness sparks change. By recognizing and calling out ageist attitudes and practices, individuals and groups can begin to shift societal perceptions of ageing and older adults.

Forms of ageism to challenge:

• Negative media portrayals of older adults
• Workplace discrimination based on age
• Patronizing or infantilizing treatment of older individuals
• Assumptions about capabilities or interests based on age

Strategies for challenging ageism:

• Speak up when encountering ageist language or behavior
• Share positive stories and examples of successful ageing
• Support age-diverse workplaces and communities
• Advocate for policies that promote age equality

9. Creativity and passion can flourish in later years

Many different exciting new projects are now stimulating these other faculties. Like Artists for Alzheimer's, through which artists share their work with people with dementia.

Ageing doesn't diminish creativity. Many individuals find that their creative abilities and passions continue to develop and even flourish in later life. This challenges the notion that productivity and creativity are the sole domain of youth.

Examples of late-life creativity:

• Artists producing significant works in their 70s, 80s, and beyond
• Writers publishing acclaimed books in later life
• Musicians composing and performing well into old age
• Individuals taking up new creative pursuits in retirement

Nurturing creativity in later life:

• Engage in lifelong learning and skill development
• Pursue interests and hobbies without fear of judgment
• Seek out opportunities for creative expression and sharing
• Embrace new technologies and mediums for creativity

10. Interdependence, not independence, is key to successful ageing

We say that we cannot be human all by ourselves; we need each other.

Rethinking independence. While Western cultures often prioritize individual autonomy, recognizing our interdependence throughout life can lead to more fulfilling and sustainable ways of ageing.

Benefits of embracing interdependence:

• Stronger social connections and support networks
• Reduced stigma around asking for and receiving help
• Greater sense of purpose through mutual care and support
• More resilient communities that value members of all ages

Cultivating interdependence:

• Develop and maintain diverse social relationships throughout life
• Participate in community activities and mutual aid networks
• Learn to both give and receive help graciously
• Advocate for policies and structures that support care across the lifespan

Last updated: August 19, 2024