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How To Do Things You Hate

How To Do Things You Hate

Self-Discipline to Suffer Less, Embrace the Suck, and Achieve Anything
by Peter Hollins 2023 123 pages
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Key Takeaways

1. Unmasking Laziness: Understand the Root Causes

Your laziness (for lack of a better word) is unique to you, and that means that the way you get better will also be unique to you.

Beyond Simple Definitions. Laziness isn't a straightforward character flaw but a complex interplay of behaviors, beliefs, attitudes, habits, and emotions. It often overlaps with procrastination, lack of motivation, depression, and faulty self-concept. Recognizing this complexity is the first step to addressing it effectively.

Underlying Causes. The book identifies several underlying causes of what we commonly label as laziness, including confusion ("I don't know what to do"), fear ("I can't do it"), a fixed mindset ("I can't fail"), fatigue ("I'm too exhausted"), apathy ("I couldn't care less"), low self-belief ("I'm just a lazy person"), loss of heart ("Everything's such a mess"), and comfort orientation ("I'll do it later"). Each of these requires a different approach.

Unique Solutions. Because the root causes of laziness are unique to each individual, the solutions must also be tailored. This requires an open mind, curiosity, and self-compassion. The book emphasizes that understanding the "why" behind your behavior is crucial for creating lasting change.

2. Self-Mastery: The Shaolin Monks' Perspective

Within this philosophy, an important teaching is the “five hindrances of self-mastery.”

Eastern Wisdom. Drawing from Shaolin martial arts culture and philosophy, the book introduces the "five hindrances of self-mastery": sensual desire, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness, and doubt/skepticism. These represent mental states that obstruct clear perception, wise decision-making, and goal achievement.

Five Hindrances.

  • Sensual Desire: Distraction via the senses.
  • Ill Will: Resistance and rejection of difficult things.
  • Sloth and Torpor: Depression, hopelessness, and inertia.
  • Restlessness: A wandering mind and lack of focus.
  • Doubt/Skepticism: Lack of self-esteem and confidence.

RAIN Method. The book presents the RAIN method (recognize, accept, investigate, non-identification) as a tool for overcoming these hindrances. This involves becoming aware of your state of mind, acknowledging it without judgment, understanding its causes and consequences, and recognizing that your thoughts and feelings do not define who you are.

3. Experiential Avoidance: Breaking the Roundabout

The way to stop the roundabout is to accept and embrace your experience—all of it!

The Worst Coping Mechanism. Experiential avoidance (EA) is identified as a major obstacle to self-discipline. It involves trying to avoid unpleasant feelings, which ultimately creates more suffering in the long run. This leads to a "roundabout" where you get trapped in a cycle of avoidance and negative consequences.

Forms of Avoidance. EA manifests in various ways, including striving, numbing, tension, distraction, giving up, rushing, intellectualizing, and procrastinating. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for breaking free from the cycle.

Acceptance is Key. The book emphasizes that acceptance is the key to stopping the roundabout. This doesn't mean wanting pain or asking for it to continue, but acknowledging reality as it is. By choosing not to add "second darts" (judgment, analysis) to inevitable pain, you can move on from it more quickly.

4. The Discipline Mindset: Embrace Discomfort

It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while Fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence.

Beyond Actions. True self-discipline is not just about what you do, but the mindset behind those actions. This involves embracing discomfort, developing psychological flexibility, and cultivating emotional self-regulation.

Comfort Creep. The book warns against "comfort creep," where increasing comfort and convenience lead to a decreased ability to tolerate uncertainty, risk, and failure. To counter this, it suggests deliberately engaging in activities that make you uncomfortable.

Voluntary Discomfort. Practices like misogi (undertaking epic challenges in nature) and incorporating doses of discomfort into daily life (fasting, strenuous physical activity, embracing boredom) can expand your capabilities, fortify your resilience, and boost your confidence.

5. Psychological Flexibility: ACT on Your Values

ACT is about learning to stay focused on what you value no matter what negative or uncomfortable sensations arise—this ability is what is termed psychological flexibility.

Coping with Change. Psychological flexibility is defined as the ability to continually take action in accordance with one's values, despite change, uncertainty, and distress. This is contrasted with psychological inflexibility, which leads to avoidance and reliance on knee-jerk reactions.

ACT Framework. The book introduces Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a framework for developing psychological flexibility. This involves shifting from experiential avoidance to willingness to experience, from fusion to defusion, from past/future focus to present-moment awareness, and from inaction to committed, value-driven action.

Six Mindset Shifts. To increase psychological flexibility, the book suggests six mindset shifts: acceptance, cognitive defusion, present moment contact, self-as-context, values, and committed action. These shifts empower you to stay focused on what matters, regardless of negative sensations.

6. Emotional Control: The 90-Second Rule

When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a ninety-second chemical process that happens; any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.

Choosing Your Response. Emotional control is the ability to choose your response to a situation rather than allowing the situation to determine your choice. This doesn't mean becoming emotionless, but rather having emotions occupy a different place in your world.

The 90-Second Rule. Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor's "90-second rule" states that the initial chemical reaction to an emotional trigger lasts only 90 seconds. Any remaining emotional response is a result of your own thoughts re-stimulating the chemical changes.

Four Strategies. The book offers four strategies for working with the 90-second window: get to know your red flags, identify the emotional reaction, label the emotion, and practice acceptance. By mastering these strategies, you can break free from emotional loops and make more intentional choices.

7. Procrastination Doom Loop: Breaking the Cycle

At its core, procrastination is about not being able to manage your moods and emotions.

More Than Time Management. Procrastination is not simply a matter of poor time management or laziness, but is amplified and driven by negative emotions. Recognizing the influence of these emotions is crucial for tackling procrastination effectively.

The Doom Loop. The book describes the "procrastination doom loop," where putting off a task leads to guilt, shame, and anxiety, which further reduces the likelihood of completing the task. This cycle is maintained by perfectionism, fear of success, and a sense of powerlessness.

Breaking the Cycle. To break the procrastination doom loop, the book suggests practicing self-compassion, reframing your thoughts, and taking baby steps. The key is to commit to action in the present, even if it's tiny and even if you are not in the right mood.

8. Attention Mastery: Finding Your Flashlight

The strength and focus of our attentional flashlight impact our perception, biases, judgments, actions, effectiveness, and overall happiness.

Three Modes of Attention. According to Amisha Jha, our attention operates in three major modes: flashlight (orienting system), caution sign (alerting system), and juggler (executive functioning). Understanding these modes is crucial for mastering your attention.

Improving Focus. To improve your focus, the first step is to develop the skill of noticing when your attentional flashlight has wandered away from the task at hand. This involves repeatedly bringing your attention back to the target object whenever it wanders off.

Everyday Practice. The book offers a simple exercise for finding your flashlight, involving sitting in an upright posture, following your breath, and gently returning your attention to a chosen area of the body whenever it wanders. This practice helps you gain awareness over what your attention is focusing on and learn to direct it where you want it to shine.

9. The Arrow Model: Fueling Focused Attention

Stress itself can increase the ability to focus and concentrate.

Neurochemical Aspects. The book introduces the "arrow model" of focus, which uses the metaphor of an arrow to explain the neurochemical aspects of motivation, attention, and focus. The shaft represents epinephrine (energy), the arrowhead represents acetylcholine (focus), and dopamine binds them together (motivation).

Three Strategies. To improve each aspect of attention, the book suggests three strategies: increase epinephrine levels (caffeine, healthy stress), increase acetylcholine levels (visualization exercises, distraction-free environment, diet), and regulate dopamine levels (exercise, protein, gut health, sleep, sun exposure).

Embodied Self. The arrow model reminds us that the "mind" is ultimately a function of our physical body. Maintaining the health of your body is non-negotiable for better self-discipline and attention.

10. Spartan Discipline: Improvement by Subtraction

The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus.

Doing Less, Not More. Spartan discipline emphasizes doing less of what is harmful or unproductive, rather than solely focusing on doing more good. This requires thinking carefully about what you won't do and eliminating everything that is a waste of time.

Improvement by Subtraction. The book contrasts improvement by addition (doing more of what works) with improvement by subtraction (doing less of what doesn't work). The latter involves eliminating mistakes, reducing complexity, and stripping away the inessential.

Laser-Like Focus. The Spartans had a goal so singular that the entire nation shared it: supreme military mastery. They succeeded by focusing all their energy on that one goal and eliminating everything else. Simplicity breeds success.

11. Ultradian Rhythms: Working with Your Body

Sometimes, the most disciplined thing you can do is take a nap.

Beyond Sheer Willpower. Self-discipline is not just about pushing through fatigue with sheer force of will, but also about understanding and working with your body's natural rhythms. This involves recognizing that rest is valuable and that moderation is smarter than the all-or-nothing approach.

Ultradian Rhythms. The book introduces ultradian rhythms, which are smaller cycles within the circadian rhythms that occur approximately every 90-120 minutes. These cycles involve oscillations between activity and rest states.

Energy Management. By scheduling your most challenging work during energy peaks and your rest periods during energy slumps, you can operate at the very upper limits of what is possible for you biologically. This requires a mindset shift: there is no virtue in pushing yourself against your body's natural rhythms.

12. Pre-Game Routine: Conquering Motivation Threshold

Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit.

Motivation is Fleeting. Self-disciplined people understand that motivation levels rise and fall, and they are prepared for the times when they lack motivation. This involves having strategies to work with those moments and refuse to let them be a reason to give up.

Pre-Game Routine. The book suggests developing a "pre-game routine" as a way to pull yourself out of a funk and reach a state where you can perform well no matter what. This routine involves specific actions that warm up the body and prepare the mind for competition.

Three Steps. The book offers three steps for developing your own pre-game routine: make it easy, get moving (literally), and be consistent. By automating your actions through habit, you save time and energy and make it easier to overcome the motivation threshold.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What’s "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins about?

  • Focus on Self-Discipline: The book explores why people struggle with self-discipline, especially when facing tasks they dislike, and offers practical strategies to overcome these challenges.
  • Understanding Laziness and Procrastination: Hollins breaks down the psychological and emotional roots of procrastination, reframing "laziness" as a complex mix of behaviors, beliefs, and emotions.
  • Actionable Frameworks: The book provides actionable frameworks, such as the RAIN method and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), to help readers build discipline and embrace discomfort.
  • Long-Term Change: It emphasizes building sustainable habits, working with your natural rhythms, and developing a mindset that supports lifelong self-mastery.

2. Why should I read "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins?

  • Practical Solutions: The book offers concrete, science-backed strategies for overcoming procrastination and building self-discipline, not just motivational platitudes.
  • Deep Psychological Insights: Hollins delves into the real reasons behind avoidance and lack of motivation, helping readers understand themselves better.
  • Applicable to All Areas: The advice is relevant for work, personal goals, relationships, and any area where discipline is required.
  • Empowering Mindset Shifts: Readers learn to reframe discomfort, failure, and setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.

3. What are the key takeaways from "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins?

  • Laziness Is Multifaceted: Laziness is not a character flaw but a cluster of causes like confusion, fear, fatigue, and misaligned goals.
  • Self-Mastery Over Discipline: True change comes from self-mastery—understanding and working with your mind and body, not just forcing willpower.
  • Embrace Discomfort: Growth requires getting comfortable with discomfort; voluntary challenges and reframing pain are essential.
  • Habits and Routines Matter: Sustainable discipline is built on small, consistent actions, routines, and working with your natural energy cycles.

4. How does Peter Hollins define and categorize laziness in "How To Do Things You Hate"?

  • Eight Types of Laziness: Hollins identifies confusion, fear, fixed mindset, fatigue, apathy, low self-belief, loss of heart, and comfort orientation as root causes.
  • Not Just Procrastination: Laziness overlaps with but is distinct from procrastination, lack of motivation, depression, and self-control issues.
  • Unique to Each Person: The mix of causes is unique for everyone, so solutions must be tailored to individual circumstances.
  • Self-Compassion Is Key: Understanding and accepting your specific type(s) of laziness is the first step to overcoming it.

5. What are the "Five Hindrances to Self-Mastery" from the Shaolin monk perspective in "How To Do Things You Hate"?

  • Sensual Desire: Distraction by sensory pleasures that pull you away from your goals.
  • Ill Will: Resistance or aversion to discomfort, difficulty, or unpleasant tasks.
  • Sloth and Torpor: Inertia, lack of motivation, and lost momentum, seen as ethical issues to be actively managed.
  • Restlessness: Mental distraction and lack of focus, leading to wasted energy and anxiety.
  • Doubt and Skepticism: Self-doubt and lack of confidence, resulting in indecision and missed opportunities.

6. What is "experiential avoidance" and why is it central in "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins?

  • Definition: Experiential avoidance is the tendency to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or situations, even when avoidance makes things worse.
  • The "Roundabout" Metaphor: Avoidance feels like a solution in the short term but traps you in a cycle of suffering and deferred problems.
  • Root of Procrastination: Many forms of procrastination and self-sabotage are actually forms of experiential avoidance.
  • Acceptance as the Solution: The book advocates for acceptance—facing discomfort head-on—as the way to break the avoidance cycle.

7. How does "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins recommend embracing discomfort for growth?

  • Voluntary Discomfort: Engage in activities that are intentionally uncomfortable (e.g., fasting, cold showers, strenuous exercise) to build resilience.
  • "Comfort Creep" Warning: Modern life’s ease can make us fragile; seeking out discomfort helps counteract this.
  • Stoic and Misogi Practices: Drawing from Stoicism and the Japanese misogi tradition, the book suggests regular, safe challenges with a 50% chance of success.
  • Reframing Discomfort: Discomfort is not a sign of failure but a necessary part of growth and self-mastery.

8. What is psychological flexibility and how does ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) feature in "How To Do Things You Hate"?

  • Definition: Psychological flexibility is the ability to act in line with your values despite discomfort, uncertainty, or distress.
  • ACT Framework: The book uses ACT’s six core processes: acceptance, cognitive defusion, present-moment contact, self-as-context, values, and committed action.
  • Action Over Feeling: You don’t need to feel motivated or comfortable to act; you can act regardless of your emotional state.
  • Mindset Shifts: Emphasizes shifting from avoidance to willingness, from fusion to defusion, and from rigid stories to flexible perspective-taking.

9. What is the "Ninety-Second Rule of Emotional Control" in "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins?

  • Biological Basis: Emotional reactions last about 90 seconds physiologically; anything longer is perpetuated by your thoughts.
  • Pause Before Acting: The book suggests waiting out the initial emotional wave before making decisions or taking action.
  • Awareness and Labeling: Recognize your emotional triggers, label your emotions accurately, and accept them without judgment.
  • Break the Loop: By understanding this rule, you can avoid getting stuck in prolonged emotional loops that fuel procrastination.

10. How does "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins address procrastination and the "doom loop"?

  • Emotion-Driven Delay: Procrastination is more about mood and emotional management than time management.
  • The Doom Loop: Putting off tasks leads to guilt and anxiety, which makes you even less likely to act, reinforcing the cycle.
  • Breaking the Cycle: Practice self-compassion, reframe your thoughts, and take small, present-focused actions to disrupt the loop.
  • Future Self Fallacy: The book warns against assuming your future self will be more motivated or capable—action must start now.

11. What practical methods and routines does "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins recommend for building lasting self-discipline?

  • Work with Ultradian Rhythms: Structure your day around natural 90-minute energy cycles for peak productivity and rest.
  • Pre-Game Routine: Develop easy, automatic routines to lower the barrier to starting tasks, especially when motivation is low.
  • Eat the Frog: Tackle your most important or dreaded task first thing, leveraging your highest energy and willpower.
  • Never Zero Commitment: Set a minimum daily standard for your habits—never let a day go by with zero progress, no matter how small.

12. What are the best quotes from "How To Do Things You Hate" by Peter Hollins and what do they mean?

  • “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is not.” – Emphasizes the difference between unavoidable discomfort and the optional suffering we create by resisting or judging that discomfort.
  • “You do not have to like a task to do it.” – Highlights the power of acting in line with your values, regardless of your feelings.
  • “The successful warrior is the average man with laser-like focus.” (Bruce Lee) – Underlines the importance of focus and eliminating distractions for extraordinary achievement.
  • “It doesn’t matter how slow you walk, only don’t stop.” – Encourages persistence and the "never zero" approach, valuing consistency over intensity.
  • “There is no greater power than right action in the present moment.” – Stresses the importance of acting now, rather than waiting for perfect conditions or motivation.

Review Summary

3.91 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

How To Do Things You Hate receives mixed reviews, with an overall positive reception. Readers appreciate its practical advice on overcoming procrastination and building self-discipline. Many find the book relatable and helpful in reframing their approach to difficult tasks. Some praise its insights and strategies for embracing discomfort and achieving long-term goals. However, a few critics note that the content isn't entirely original and lacks depth. Despite this, most readers find value in the book's concise format and applicable techniques for tackling challenging responsibilities.

Your rating:
4.53
48 ratings

About the Author

Peter Hollins is a prolific author and researcher specializing in human psychology and behavior. With a bachelor's degree in psychology and an advanced graduate degree, Hollins has established himself as a bestselling writer in the field of self-improvement and personal development. His work focuses on understanding the human condition and providing practical insights to help readers overcome psychological barriers and achieve their goals. Hollins' approach combines academic knowledge with real-world applications, making complex psychological concepts accessible to a wide audience. His books often explore topics such as productivity, mental resilience, and personal growth.

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